Teaser to Episode 11

Rhett 0:00

And you haven't been on a plane at this point , so you don't know what that experience is like so your filter and perspective is nothing .

Justin 0:05

but you know , like you just described , my number one fear of flying the great reputations that we can have for doing the right things and for pleasing the right people .

Rhett 0:13

And I just remember thinking like when I left .

Justin 0:16

It was like crap , there goes my reputation .

Beaches, Mountains, and Big Cities

Justin 0:29

God wants you to get to a point where he says , all right , you've kept your feet on the ground long enough .

Rhett 0:40

I'm going to see what you can do if I take control of this and you can't control it anymore . Well , all right , welcome back to another episode of Armchair Authentic , a podcast with Rhett and Justin designed to help you fulfill your God assignments through real conversations about real life with real people . Now , justin and I are really excited about today's conversation . In fact , it's centered around this question of how do we overcome our fears , such as flying , people pleasing and taking a step of faith . Now , before we get into that conversation , we do simply want to say thank you so much to every single one of you who have taken the time to rate and review the podcast . Not only does it mean so much to Justin and I , but more than that , it truly is the best way that we can serve those who aren't on this journey yet .

Rhett 1:33

Now , as always , we want to hear from you , so be sure to comment on Facebook or Instagram at Armchair Authentic , or join us at Armchair AuthPod on X , formerly known as Twitter , that's ArmchairAuthPod . Or you can reach out to us via email at info at ArmchairAuthenticcom . All right , now for the conversation of how do we overcome our fears of flying , people-pleasing and taking a step of faith . Hey , justin , it's so good to be back in the studio Again recording another episode of Armchair Authentic . It's been so much fun man having the opportunity , what we just got off spring break had a good time .

Justin 2:17

Oh , man had a great time . Took the fam to the beach .

Rhett 2:20

Yes , one of my favorite two spots .

Justin 2:22

I think three spots . I love the beach , I love the mountains and I love big cities .

Rhett 2:29

I think that covers just about everything you possibly can . The only thing you didn't say is uh , I like deserts . You did not say you like dry and arid places .

Justin 2:38

Yeah , I didn't , and probably for a good reason , maybe because I've never been there , but I will at some point .

Rhett 2:45

Have you not been to anywhere in Phoenix or Vegas , or ?

Justin 2:49

Nevada . Yeah , I take it back . Yes , I've been to Vegas , okay .

Rhett 2:53

Is it Nevada or Nevada ? I say Nevada . Yeah , I said Nevada too till I lived , you know , an hour north of it . And everybody was like it's Nevada .

Justin 3:02

It's kind of like when you lived in boise , but we always called it boise until you corrected me when I came and visited .

Rhett 3:08

Yeah , by the way , they say boise b-o-y-s-e-e they actually have t-shirts that say I love b-o-y-s-e-e boise , and that's all in reference to people who are moving there and don't know how to pronounce it and when you say it right , people are impressed that you said it right . Oh yeah , they're like oh okay , isn't it like what ?

Justin 3:25

is it Spokane Washington , not Spokane ?

Rhett 3:27

Spokane yeah , You'll get slapped in the face . Well , you won't literally , but you feel like you will .

Justin 3:32

You feel like you'll get slapped in the face . What did you do ?

Rhett 3:36

You'll be judged .

Justin 3:47

You'll see it's spokane , not spokane yeah , I I want to . I would love to go see phoenix , and we will soon yeah , we have that plan in the next year , of course .

Rhett 3:52

Um , yeah , I mean phoenix is hot , so they hear it's beautiful and it's uh . Yeah , I don't know if I could live there . I mean , it part of me thinks that , yeah , it'd be fun for a little bit , but but I'm like I think I've got my high desert fix living in the Boise .

Justin 4:06

Treasure Valley area . Yeah , that gives it a feel yeah . Yeah , but we went to good old Destin .

Rhett 4:13

Good .

Justin 4:13

Took a break , enjoyed the beach .

Rhett 4:15

Yeah .

Justin 4:15

Drove some go-karts and played putt-putt .

Rhett 4:18

Heck , yeah , dude . So you drove the Destin . I mean , you were in Destin area , that's where you were for all that stuff , that's right , I remember us growing up going to PCB .

Justin 4:29

Panama city beach we talked about that last week the hot tub , the swimming pools , conversation points .

Rhett 4:34

It's funny how , as we've gotten older , we've kind of moved a little bit more West from Panama city beach over to , you know , the Sandestin Destin area .

Justin 4:45

Pensacola Beach . So we

Fear of Flying

Justin 4:47

honeymooned in Destin when we first got married and that was like our space . I mean , we drove four and a half hours , didn't fly . Fun fact , I was scared of flying . Yeah , I remember that Because I grew up always being warned about it . We kind of played it safe .

Rhett 5:04

Were you naturally scared of flying or was it instilled in you from family members ?

Justin 5:10

two , two things . Okay , shut it down on me . You know , hey , dad love you if you're listening , mr bill . Mr bill , um , but very much he helped keep us in that control of cars and not getting on planes . Yeah , he likes to be in control and so I had this feeling of not being in control in an airplane , so it was just kind of passed down . And the second one was I loved the movie La Bamba growing up and there's that .

Justin 5:40

And there's that scene where he's like a young boy Sorry , man , you got me going , Sorry .

Rhett 5:44

And there's that scene where he's like a young boy . Sorry , man , you got me going .

Justin 5:48

Sorry , oh yeah , if you've never seen the movie , he had to keep doing the cuts .

Rhett 5:54

They were like , bro , you got to do it again . He's like what do you mean ? I got to do it again .

Justin 5:57

He wasn't used to that recording live . This is how .

Rhett 5:59

I sing Like it's different every time . Yeah , we need it to be the same every time .

Justin 6:06

Yeah , we need you to do another .

Rhett 6:08

Take Well well , well , baby , baby . I don't know , that's all I got . So , but at the beginning of that movie it shows the scene where he's like .

Justin 6:18

It's like a scene of , I guess , his little , his best friend , and they're on the playground and there's like a crash of two planes in the sky .

Rhett 6:25

Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah .

Justin 6:26

And he keeps having flashbacks and the plane literally had crashed , like , if I remember right , on some of the students and I don't know if he was there that day or if he was on the other side of the playground , but he had that fear of airplanes . So , as a young , impressionable kid , I'm watching this movie , probably younger , as we've said before , than I should , but I'm watching this movie and then combining that with you know my dad saying , yeah , let's just drive . It really put a fear in me to fly .

Rhett 6:53

When was your first flight ever ?

Justin 6:56

In 2005 .

Rhett 6:58

Matter of fact .

Justin 6:58

So I would try to get out of flying . I mean cause I didn't want to tell people I was scared . But I mean , hey , the cat's out of the bag now , because one time , you know , you and I both sang with a really great choir . We had amazing choir director , Mr . Council one of our favorite teachers of all time .

Justin 7:17

Love you , dude , and he called out the gold in me and I love him with all my heart . Well , we over overachieved as a school with our choir program because of him , and he called out the gold in us , and we were invited , if you remember , to Carnegie Hall .

Rhett 7:30

Yeah , well , I was on that trip .

Justin 7:32

That was my first .

Rhett 7:33

It wasn't my first airplane experience , so it was my first like airline jet like big time . I did the one little seaplanes at the beach like propeller taken off out of the bay . Oh dude , that was like amazing in a helicopter . Did the helicopter at the beach ?

Justin 7:49

I remember I did the seaplane at the beach .

Rhett 7:51

My dad bought me . I was like my dad was so cool . I mean he always just created some really cool experiences .

Justin 7:56

I just remember sitting by the side watching you do that stuff like go red , not me , it's so different .

Rhett 8:02

I mean , that's interesting about our personalities , because I was like that and not to say you're not adventurous , you have your own adventurous stuff . But I was like living on the edge , trying to . It was like the adrenaline junkie yeah I mean , I'm the one that jumped out of an airplane with a parachute on my back at 21 .

Rhett 8:16

Wouldn't sign my life away like I'm 21 I can do what I want to do and that's 21st birthday and talk joey , oh joey . I know you're probably not listening , but if you are , dude , that was the time , like amazing joey he did . We went together , so joey would have probably been like my age right now . Oh , gosh that was 20 something , and , and how easily we went together . He was old , oh , joey's now man he's , he's , he's , he's young dude , joey , you man come on , I'm saying we're the age now .

Justin 8:42

We used to think he was .

Rhett 8:43

That's what I'm saying'm saying , and so . I'm saying he was young , he was young , he still is forever young .

Justin 8:51

Forever young . And so we were going to Carnegie hall and I remember I had two thoughts . They weren't right thoughts , or one of them was I was scared to fly . The other one was I thought we were poor growing up I just naturally did in our apartments you and I lived in .

Justin 9:06

Yeah , I thought we just and we didn't have a lot of money , but I thought we were poor and I always joke with my dad because he would always say little comments like man , anytime he'd spend money , y'all gonna take me to the poor house . I remember every time I'd go over to eat .

Rhett 9:18

Man we're eating out . Meet me out of house and home . My god rent what are you doing ? You're raiding the fridge .

Justin 9:23

Those are my cookies , and it's like I mean , I learned later those are just the statements he makes . We were fine but , those would affect me .

Rhett 9:31

Interesting .

Justin 9:32

And I remember saying but it was convenient to be poor in this moment because I was scared to fly . And I remember telling Mr Counsel it's so funny looking back . I went and told Mr Counsel , hey , I can't go . I don't have the money and there's no way we can have the money .

Rhett 9:47

Going to New York because our high school choir was invited to go to New York City to sing in Carnegie Hall . That's right . And I said , yes , I went , and I never knew this until a couple of years ago when you told me I would have never admitted I was scared of flying .

Justin 10:02

I mean , if you were going to go fly it , act like I have a stomach ache or something like oh , I'd love to , but I got this gimp in my leg . I can't make it up on the plane . I'd find some way , and so that's so .

Justin 10:12

I carried that with me to the point , even when me and summer got married , I wasn't even considering going on a honeymoon somewhere that had to fly , and summer knew that about me . She's so gracious and we still love the beach , and that's why we shifted down to Destin , because I didn't want to go where I always went as a kid , which was Panama City Beach .

Justin 10:32

But we went up into a nice resort in Destin . We had a blast , didn't think anything of it , but it did hit me on certain moments where I began noticing there were these places we wanted to go see and it was fun to idealize it and talk about it . But I started realizing if I don't get on this plane and go somewhere like Summer loves this and she would have surrendered it all- but , I'm keeping us from experiencing some stuff together .

Justin 10:57

And so she had she's a licensed counselor and so she had this counseling conference in Orlando and I just decided this has got to be a great first flight and so short and I told summer I said I'm going with you .

Justin 11:11

And she was so shocked and I was like I'm going to break the fear and we bought me a ticket . We got on that plane . We landed 45 minutes later and I could not believe we were in Orlando . I would usually drive that nine to 11 hours , yeah , and from that moment it's like it turned me on to flying and to overcome that fear that step out .

Justin 11:33

you don't feel it in the moment , but when I did , it set me free and seriously she would be . This is no joke . She would be in those counseling sessions . I was actually looking at all whatever I could see on internet Cause it wasn't as available that easy . But you still get on the internet looking , writing down stuff from studying different places and like Frommer's books . Yeah , oh my gosh .

Rhett 11:57

I would go and look at places . Frommer's was the Google of travel . Oh , it was . You go to books .

Justin 12:00

We would go to Barnes and Noble and we'd get our toffee nut mocha coffee . Sit there and look at the books Sit down and look at Frommer's books for hours and so I went and did that while she was in session and I started mapping out LA , San Diego , San Francisco , Napa .

Rhett 12:15

Valley , New York City , Texas .

Justin 12:18

I started seeing all these places and seriously in those days we didn't have any kids places .

Rhett 12:23

And seriously .

Justin 12:24

in those days we didn't have any kids . We had some budget saved up . We began booking trips for every season . We flew to New York . It's awesome , we flew to all these places and it opened my world up and I realized , like my goodness , had I not stepped out and stepped past that fear , even when everything was telling me , yeah , this goes against what you've been told . I went with the piece and I did it , and thank God .

Rhett 12:46

I'll never forget what it was like flying on that first trip . Of course it was the back of the airplane , I don't know how I happened to get a window , but I'll never forget . I think the pilot I honestly as much as I fly now like I think the pilot knew there was a bunch of like first time kids on board and and I don't know if this is true or not , I've got a friend who's a pilot so he could verify this . But depending on if they're a navy or air force depends on how they fly the plane and how fast they pull up and land and their different styles of takeoff and landing .

Rhett 13:13

But this guy decided he would just kind of have some fun with us and I promise you when he took off he didn't just , he didn't just like loft and take off and kind of smooth , like that brother pulled that nose back and the seat was all the way like it felt like 90 degrees . It wasn't okay , I'm exaggerating , but the force of being thrown back in that seat for the first time in that plane , being pulled up and my dad back in the day , that was when they let you kind of like walk through the security line , see your family off and be right there . So all the families were there . My dad had that big VHS camcorder on his .

Justin 13:46

You know , he might as well been like a you know channel 13 or fox 6 , those massive cameras . That was your dad . He always had the latest and greatest , yeah panama jack hat the sunglasses and the vhs camera . You know , if you see panama jack brand guys , that's ret's dad .

Rhett 13:58

Your dad was panama jack but going back and watching that video , I mean , dude , that guy pulled the plane back so hard we were , I mean look , felt like we were on a rocket ship and in the adrenaline rush of just , oh my gosh , I'm looking out the window and seeing the ground go . But yeah , it's just . I mean I take like now look at it . I'm still enthralled , but like what was going through your mind ? That first experience ?

Justin 14:27

no-transcript . And I remember sitting on the plane they had to wait for some heavy winds before takeoff and I heard a lady sitting next to my wife and she said I would feel sorry for anybody if this is their first flight . And I saw Summer whisper to her and said would you please not talk about that right ?

Rhett 14:47

now you shut up , right now .

Justin 14:48

She was protecting me and I acted like I didn't hear it , but I was like praying . But man once we took off . I mean seriously , rhett . I know we're talking about an airplane , but it opened my mind in so many ways when I'm up in the air looking out the window because I'm up in the air looking out the window , because I'm very adventurous .

Rhett 15:12

But there are things when I'm cautious I can tend to over analyze you're .

Justin 15:14

You're like jump , yeah , I don't need that .

Rhett 15:15

I at that I'm different now , obviously , mary , 18 years , you're going on 18 , son who's 16 so . I think through these things a lot more now yeah , but I mean , I promise you too when I get on planes now I'm always like God , thank you so much , my family .

Rhett 15:26

I literally do every time before we take off Thank you for my family , thank you for my son . I sent him and I love you . I'm taking off and I am literally thanking God . God , thank you so much for the life that I've gotten to live . Yeah , and I'm praying and I thank you in advance that your hand is on this plane and when I say thank you , god , for your faithfulness , not because I'm scared , but because my mind I'm able to see through all the different perspectives on , if something were to happen , how it would affect all these people and as a kid I never thought about any of that I was like , whatever I analyzed depth , Like well , if I jump here .

Rhett 15:55

How deep is this ? I did .

Justin 15:57

But it just shows the two different kind of mindsets . But the fact is of stepping out and all the feelings can go against you and you still just yes , there's wisdom sometimes to look at that . If I look and I see shallow , I'm

Freedom of Flying

Justin 16:12

not jumping because that would be foolish , right , but a lot of stuff we hold back on because we've created parameters that really don't exist .

Rhett 16:17

And so you were scared . But yet you knew that , okay , I'm going to take this step . You get on the plane , you're on the plane , I'm sure you're nervous , but by the time you're taking off did all those nerves just go out the way ?

Justin 16:28

Oh , yeah , it was gone . It felt effortless . I'm looking down , looking at the grids and the way the land's laid out . It was so freeing . From that point , life changed . I do now with Highlands , but then also what I do with coaching . I'm flying all over the place in certain seasons and I love traveling .

Rhett 16:52

So every one of our conversations does this . We're talking about life .

Rhett 16:56

I can't help but think the people that are out there , or even ourselves how this relates in so many ways to taking a step of faith out of our comfort zone , out of the box , towards whatever God might be calling us to or towards . Or we have a leaning towards or whatever , or we're scared to maybe take a step , and for you it was an airplane at , however old you were , and it's so cool , though you took the step and the opportunities that presented itself in the openness and the freedom and like , oh my God , the excitement and the experience on the other side of you taking a step out of your comfort zone towards something .

Justin 17:27

You kind of look at everything and God's so sovereign how he uses everything . But

The Fear of Stepping Out of Comfort

Justin 17:32

there was something that happened just a few years before , and just a story that I'll share here that probably even prepared me for a little thing like getting on a plane , because you learn to trust and now , my goodness , 23 years later , we've learned so much . You don't go by feelings , you don't live to people , please , but you've got to learn some of this stuff because your wiring has a condition to it and you have to kind of learn what to overcome and how you're wired and what your weakness might be . It's different from a lot of people , but in 2000 , me and my wife got married . We had belonged , as we've talked about on previous episodes of the podcast .

Justin 18:03

you and I both belonged to a church where , at this time , I had been in it for seven years . So special to this day , because my memories are so fond and I'm still in contact with our former pastor , youth pastor , all these people , I mean it's like when you get on the phone with them or you go have lunch with them , you feel like you're picking up where you left off .

Justin 18:21

There's nothing like community of your family , especially as Christians , and Christianity and followers of Christ . There's nothing like your church body that's your family . There's nothing like that . When you're a follower of Christ , the church that is your family . And so with us in 2000 , we're married . Life is feeling like I see the next 20 years of life being at this church . I'm in school Summer , just finished up her degree . Life is like . It feels like it's perfect . It's wonderful . I feel called by God . I feel very purposed in the band that I'm playing with at the time and traveling and making a lot of momentum with music . You and I were both singing together .

Justin 19:05

There was just so much going in our favor .

Rhett 19:08

This was your Destin Florida box of comfort for vacation .

Justin 19:13

Yeah , great parallel , right . I remember one day getting this sense and I wrestled with it for a few months , really this sense of a step out , and what that meant to me was I'm very involved , as I said , at this church and there's a natural progression we go through , Whether it's you're in youth ministry , you're a youth pastor , you're a worship pastor , whatever it is , and you kind of shift into that next level of associate pastor , whatever it is . Well , in the same way , when you think of youth group , if you're around church , you've heard the term big church- You're basically just saying it's the adults .

Justin 19:48

And so with me , I began praying and feeling like , is this a season that we're supposed to step out of the youth group and go serve our pastor in big church ? Right , you were leading worship in the big church , the big sanctuary , all this stuff felt and made sense that this could be a shift .

Justin 20:06

And after I had just thought and prayed and I felt like , okay , there's something to this , and I told Summer , hey , we really need to be praying about a transition . I feel like this must have been a seed that the Holy Spirit planted On this one day we're going to pray for one hour . So our life is prayer . It's a continuation .

Justin 20:21

But in this moment we come together unified . We're in our little office in our two-bedroom apartment and I began talking with Summer and I was like , let's just pray for an hour , I'll pray a little , you pray a little , and we did that . I mean , it flew by . It was beautiful Hour we're over , said amen . I looked at Summer . I said well , hey , did you hear anything from the Lord about what we should do ? And she said no , I really didn't . She said what about you and Red ? I had had so much clarity and what had happened in that time of prayer where it had really firmed up what we were thinking and praying about . We weren't supposed to just step out of youth ministry at that church . I felt a call to stepping out completely of that church . That was such a crazy thought to even enter into my mind .

Rhett 21:09

It's almost like God was bringing clarity to both you and Summer that there's an adventure on the other side of this thing . And I'm not really going to , I just I'm leaning into a new place . I want you to get on the airplane , I want you to trust me , even as uncomfortable as it might be . And so you guys begin to pray , say God , you feel like it's time to take a step .

Justin 21:27

That's right so , and of course we put more time into it to make sure that it wasn't just you know the lucky charms I had for breakfast that day which I still can do some lucky charms , don't get me wrong . But it felt very affirmed in my spirit , confirmed in my spirit . I talked with some people in my life , like my dad , I'll never

The Tensions of Disappointing Leaders

Justin 21:46

forget meeting with my youth pastor .

Rhett 21:48

We went to Wendy's Because that's the youth pastor place to go , man .

Justin 21:52

It is Frosty . That's where you take your student worship leader , basically your associate student pastor , if you will . And , by the way , I'm volunteering . I hadn't , I'm not on staff , I'm not getting paid . I do it because I just love it . Right , and it was the dream . I'm going to UAB .

Rhett 22:08

That was probably the day that Wendy's had a salad bar .

Justin 22:12

Do you remember those days ? Oh , the bread sticks man . They had an incredible salad bar . No more , I don't know what happened to that . They had chocolate pudding too . You go by and grab a little bit of that , you know ? I mean , maybe , even if you didn't get the salad bar , I might get a little spoon there and get a little pudding .

Rhett 22:25

That was when I , if I remember I don't know which wendy's you went to , but was that the one on the robot parkway that had the like little sunroom ? Right , remember when the sunrooms were popular they started putting those little additional sunroom , being all glass and there was nothing like the sunroom we're living , living the life man . Forget the 99-cent value meal . It was probably more like 50 cents at that point . Yeah , because if you didn't go to 50 cents . We went down to the 25-cent hamburger stand down the road , so they had to compete .

Justin 22:52

Oh man , yeah . So I'll never forget , though , rhett . I'm not one for small talk . When there's something to talk about , I've got to address an issue . We're sitting there having someone I dearly love . He actually married me and my wife . We're so close . As he's about to take a sip , I mean I just can't wait . I'm like so me and Summer have been praying about it . We feel like we're supposed to step out and we're going to be stepping out . I mean , it was like the Red Ryder BB gun .

Rhett 23:17

I want a carbon action BB gun .

Justin 23:24

And the parents dry out . He paused with that sweet tea .

Rhett 23:26

It was like one of those biggie size , so I can't see his face and I'm like , what does he think ? So he paused mid-sip or like was taking a chug , caught him off guard , as I mean , makes a lot of sense that it would . Yeah , cause I mean at that time you , we were all really heavily involved , but you were kind of like the right hand , you and some or both you were very vital to what was happening within the youth ministry at that point as far as a youth leader who'd risen up and taken on a lot of responsibility .

Rhett 23:51

And if you're a pastor or a leader , like you know , those conversations are coming and you , just I can only imagine like , oh , here's the like . Oh man , the dread is like , yes , you want to let people go , but at the same time it's like , oh , I love them , but like , how is this going to impact me ? And the ministry and what we're doing and all of that . And as a 22 year old that I was you don't think about that , no , no .

Justin 24:15

You're still looking at your pastor like they own the moon and they've got all the answers to life . What they say is the truth . So if they say something that goes against what you feel the Lord has said . You're very conflicted .

Rhett 24:26

Oh , of course .

Justin 24:27

And that began a process of those moments , because our takeaway was , you know , his last words there was like we're just going to have to agree to disagree . I was like , oh , that's , that's a handy little statement to use . I'm going to start using that .

Justin 24:39

We're going to agree to disagree , okay , yeah , and that began the process of you know , developing someone to . You know there were already people there to take the place , but kind of get them in that . But , man , the process that followed , cause that's the first step when you you make that proclamation of there's going to be a shift . In this case , rhett , I didn't necessarily get their thoughts because I had already had in my spirit , I knew like I cannot deny how much the peace , I knew I'm supposed to do this , me and Summer were supposed to do it .

Rhett 25:11

So you weren't asking for permission . You were sharing . What something that God has spoken to you and Summer as a married couple right . That's right , living and moving into a new season , so you're not asking for permission , you're simply saying hey , we've heard from the Lord and this is what God is stirring in us , and I want to share this with you because I'll honor you and we need to put a plan in place .

Justin 25:32

Yes , there had been many times along along the years where those conversations are more advisement . But there were the times too , yeah . And , and you know , they advisement . But there were the times too , and I grew up in that culture , where I was given a lot of decisions , where they were like we need you to make this call .

Justin 25:48

And they didn't advise me . So they kind of taught me this culture of my pastor had taught me this culture of you make the decision , you make the decision . I think that's why I had a propensity towards that . But yeah , so I ended up having that combo and there were more conversations that followed . Once we had solidified it , there was the whole deal of hey , let's don't talk to anybody about this yet , we don't want to hurt the momentum . And once again , I'm not on staff , I'm a volunteer . But we carried a lot of weight where we were . So I honored that process of not saying anything , even though I really wanted to . Between those seasons , the leaders would have meetings and it would get out a little bit that , hey , the Bradshaws are actually going to be leaving , and that really impacted some of the elders and leaders there , because many times and this isn't to be a Debbie Downer talk , this is just real talk .

Justin 26:38

But with this process I had a lot of people coming to me just in the hallways smaller church that would say , hey , I think you're really making a mistake here , and so I would listen to the really unsolicited advice .

Rhett 26:53

As I heard .

Justin 26:53

Pastor Jimmy Evans say one time just put it in that compartment of unsolicited advice , Right , and I would just take it in . And I remember one time it just got so much and you got to remember I'm a people pleaser , Naturally that . And I remember one time it just got so much and you got to remember I'm a people pleaser , naturally . That's been one of the deals that I've had to fight all these years . So in those

Endurance to Soar

Justin 27:08

days at 22 , it's ramped up and amped up and I'm hearing these men of God telling me these things and I'm almost like am I in the wrong here ? And this was a huge learning moment . I mean , it was teaching me God is sovereign , how he teaches us through these kind of moments . Because finally it's like the day's here We've said nothing to anybody . Here we are meeting with all the youth leaders before I'm about to go lead worship . One final time . This is probably a very vain thought that I've carried with me . When we leave one day , there's a parade and a party .

Rhett 27:39

Oh yeah , we're like a pomp and circumstance , for all the days that I've put into this and all the faithfulness and loyalty and what I've helped you through , I probably had that mindset like , oh , we'll have a party , it'll be a great time .

Justin 27:51

And literally we're up there in our little meeting room and it's like seven minutes before service and we're going over the flow and I know he's supposed to announce it and I'm thinking when are we going to have time for this ? And it was like so quick , rhett . It was like hey , just want to let you know . By the way , justin and Summer they're leaving tonight and we'll have something at the end of service for them . But hey , everybody really needs to get down there . We've got to get started . Service is about to start , and it was one of those . But they're also like um , yeah , are you betraying .

Justin 28:25

People are conflicted , and so I just kind of made my way like love y'all . I got to get down to go play . After the night . There's the announcement made to the youth group , where our youth pastor lets them know and he , he honors us and thank you for the time that they've given us . They've been such a pivotal role , um . But they feel like that they're supposed to be stepping out now and so we're going to have a time after service . If you want to come up and tell them what they've meant to you , you know , I'm sure that they would appreciate it . Service ends . We have a line of the students coming to talk to us . Well , by now there's a little bit of a jadedness in me because I have not had one positive thing said . So I'm over here questioning like what did we just do ?

Rhett 29:04

Yeah , honestly , I mean , surely , if this is God , there has to be some positive affirmation in this thing , right ?

Justin 29:10

Oh , and I'm at this moment now and we have students come in and they're so sweet and that obviously encouraged us , probably made me miss them all the more that we're leaving . One gentleman I can see him , kind of five people back and he's getting closer and honestly , because he was a leader in the church , my guard was up .

Rhett 29:27

He was an elder in the church .

Justin 29:28

Yeah , I mean , hey , he played Jesus , I mean he was In our Easter dramas .

Rhett 29:33

Back in the day he did , you literally had Jesus coming .

Justin 29:36

Yeah , I mean yeah .

Rhett 29:38

It's funny . In our minds we could not help but see him through the lens of Jesus , because of how many dramas that we did .

Justin 29:45

I never doubted his faith until the one time . The rope the little string the pulley that takes him up kind of fell a little bit and he went down about a foot .

Rhett 29:53

Yeah , we had a pulley system tied to a beam and we attached Jesus to it for the ascension at the very end after the stone was rolled away , he's hanging out with the disciples , and now he's going to be with Jesus , after the stone has rolled away . He's hanging out with the disciples , and now he's going to be with Jesus . Cue the smoke machine Arms out . We got the choir . He's alive .

Rhett 30:07

And then there's a guy up in the ceiling through a drop ceiling , who's up there hitting a button to get this thing and all the loose slack that's in it as he goes up . It's good and his hands are out .

Justin 30:19

He's smiling and then all of a sudden , the loose slack goes and he drops two feet , and you see jesus hey , jesus , he didn't look like he had a lot of faith in that moment .

Rhett 30:31

No , it's like oh , and then it just start pulling him up again . He's like okay , he's like smiled . And to add it on top of that , we had to put wires on his toes as he goes up and we had two people on the ground trying to hold us so we wouldn't spin a 360 .

Justin 30:46

Yeah , but I think they dropped the wires by them when it fell , because by the end of it , jesus is like his back's , facing the crowd as he goes up into the hole .

Rhett 30:53

Yeah , he goes into the hole and we got a smoke machine up there billowing smoke out and you can just imagine oh , man .

Justin 31:01

Okay , so now , if you you've heard , our story . That guy's the guy that's walking so I'm thinking like man if he says something to me I might just break down and not go , because it's it's jesus jesus yeah and so he got to me and he said and he just made this phrase and it didn't make sense at first he said justin summer . He said you're gonna be like an f-14 tomcat I think it's f-14 tomcat , he says when they leave an aircraft carrier are you about to take off and crash ?

Rhett 31:28

is that ? What is this the word from god ? Like , my mind is like what ?

Justin 31:33

like I'm already on the defense and I just kind of look to like try to be open .

Rhett 31:37

I'm like and you haven't been on a plane at this point , so you don't know what that experience is like so so your filter and perspective is nothing , but you know , like you just described , my number one fear of flying .

Justin 31:47

And you're saying oh my gosh . And so and I was like okay , what does ? That mean Like I'm asking him , but inside I'm ready for him now . It's like going to be a slap in the face , and it wasn't , he said . When an F-14 Tomcat leaves an aircraft carrier , it and it wasn't , he said when an F-14 Tomcat leaves an aircraft carrier . It first dips a little bit but then it soars . And he said Justin and Summer , after tonight you're going to feel like you've missed it , you're going to feel like you're going down .

Justin 32:22

But I want to encourage you to hang in there because you're going to soar . That's so good man . When he said that to me , other than like my dad , um , it was like that one affirmation that I received from some , some spiritual leadership , and it was nice to get that . It's like I've heard this phrase in a book , that hunger is the greatest marinade . And that's what it was , that statement . I don't know if it's true about a Tomcat or not , I don't care . All I know is I was hungry and he fed me that affirmation and I was so thankful for it . So , anyway , we leave that night . The senior pastor says hey , come meet with me Before you step out . I wanna have a talk with you . So I was like great .

Justin 32:59

So we go and we're sitting in the reception office Kind of surreal , rhett , that the place we've been at for seven years . What did we just do ? We're sitting in that office and two things are going through my head . The first one is I'm thinking back to that amazing word of the Tomcat , the F-14 , and I'm just kind of pondering on it . I'm talking to Summer , but in those moments of quiet and thinking , this phrase hits my head and I have no context . It won't make sense right now , but the phrase that I heard in my head was the answer is no . I don't know what that means . The answer is no . Okay , the answer is no . I mean , it seems so casual . I went ahead and forgot that and I began talking to Summer again .

Justin 33:35

We go into our pastor's office and he just begins to kind of debrief what we've been through , like just some things that you got to think about as you're stepping out , and it was like , yes , sir , and local church is a part of our heart . So we knew we were going to step out into a local church , but it was odd because it was very much like Abraham we were stepping out but we did not know where we were going . I didn't have a destination . Ironically , I used to tell people you don't go unless you got a destination , but you don't go until you know that's right . I mean , I couldn't find any rhyme . I was just like we're supposed to go and I feel like an idiot .

Justin 34:14

So we already had a plan to go find local church . We were just starting this new adventure as we had just been married for probably three months to a place that treated us so wonderful , showered us literally with gifts for our wedding . We were very attached to this place and they were attached to us . And we're talking to our pastor and he actually shed so much light that began to let me understand why we felt such a resistance from some of the leadership . And he said , justin , here's the thing we were about to offer you the youth pastor position and college position , cause we had a program that we were building up and he offered me that right . You know this , but this place was our dream , that we thought we'd be at forever .

Justin 34:52

I mean the dream scenario was like hey , you're getting the lead worship , I'm getting the lead worshiping youth pastor . I mean , it was like you were leading worship for the main auditorium at that moment . So it's like the dream was now being handed to me . And when he told me that this was a move they were about to do and that our current youth pastor , he , was going to shift into associate pastor , well , that made it all the more the dream because we love him , and so it seemed like this amazing scenario . And so I'm sitting there thinking I've missed it , oh my gosh .

Justin 35:23

And then you go through the justification of I see what you're doing . God , I did all this so they would finally offer me this position . I had zero clue . They were thinking about me for this . You wanted me to do this so that they made that offer . So I can now say yes , because I'm wanting to say yes .

Justin 35:40

And , bro , I'm almost about to say well , okay , wow , that's amazing . I feel this . It's like this phrase is rushing to my mouth , trying to get to me before I can say I accept , but right before I can say anything , I say the answer is no , and I said it . So , defeated , the answer is no , I mean , there were tears , rhett . I would love to say that I was just so full of faith after that night , but literally I ended up saying no , but I was my body's shaking , thinking I just screwed this up and we ended up leaving . So now we're we're staying strong , we're sticking to what we said , we're about to leave the building , but I do remember I gave a little bit of wiggle room , so I got to be honest on the story .

Rhett 36:27

I don't want to get too much credit because he was going to Africa .

Justin 36:29

that Friday , like two days later , I said if I have any kind of change of mind I'll let you know before you go to Africa . We get in the car , we drive off Rhett and it was so wild because what I had hoped in that season would have been this relational tether . There we pulled out of that parking lot and it was like that final tether was removed . And there we were pulling out of that parking lot and it was like that final tether was removed . And there we were pulling out of that parking lot from a community , from us living in that area , to go into school , to go into the church that was affiliated with that school . For the past at that time would have been like 18 , you know , 17 years . So here we are pulling literally into a new land that we know nothing of .

Rhett 37:01

The tray tables are in their upright position . The seat is all the way fully up . Oh man , the flight attendants have buckled in their jump seats . The pilot is accelerating from zero at the end of the tarmac to , you know , 255 , 300 miles an hour . And you're headed down and there is no turning back at this point .

Justin 37:20

All this accumulation of reputation , that we get . I'm not talking about our spiritual growth . I'm talking about the great reputations that we can have for doing the right things and for pleasing the right people . There was accumulation of reputation that I had kind of an identity in .

Rhett 37:34

And I just remember thinking like when I left .

Justin 37:37

it was like crap , there goes my reputation and we pull out in our car , kind of leaving , and I'm defeated . We lived on the other side of town we had our cute little apartment .

Rhett 37:46

So you're defeated , you're headed out , you feel less than probably .

Justin 37:49

I feel like I've missed it .

Justin 37:50

We're about 10 minutes down the road and in our city , in Birmingham , we have like a miniature size of the Statue of Liberty and that was one of the markers we would pass on our way home . And we're quiet in the car , a grieving spirit , a little bit spirit of deflation , and we're driving and we I just remember looking up and seeing the statue of Liberty and it coincided with a feeling in my spirit and this peace that passes all understanding , just like the Bible talks about it , showered over us , so cool To the point . I look at summer in the passenger seat and I began smiling , telling her we did the right thing . Like the weight of that pressure , the peer pressure , the leadership pressure , whatever that pressure hits you , we separated from it and got to get to the other side of that surrender and , my goodness , it was peace that passes all understanding and of course you know time gets to tell you know if you did the right thing or not

Journey of Spiritual Freedom and Guidance

Justin 38:47

.

Rhett 38:47

I'm curious have you ever thought through the lens of what the statue of Liberty represents when people come over from overseas ? And it represents freedom .

Rhett 38:56

I have very much and it's interesting that that was a marker spiritually speaking but even emotionally speaking , of like not that you were felt entrapped , I'm not saying that but like the freedom of wow , the wheels have left the ground , we are taking off and my fears are leaving me when I begin to see that there is security in doing something that we knew God called us to , but in reference to the airplane doing something that , oh my gosh , like I was scared of this . Now , this is unbelievable . The perspective that I'm beginning to gain is the you know , the further up we go , yeah , and that's kind of like , that's kind of so cool man , the freedom of flying and the freedom of liberty and the freedom , spiritually knowing you , and then that peace that passes all understanding is just overwhelming you .

Rhett 39:41

Wow , we're about to go experience some really great things .

Justin 39:48

God wants you to get to a point where he says all right , you've kept your feet on the ground long enough . I'm going to see what you can do If I come on . Take control of this . And you can't control it anymore and let go of everything that you have accumulated over here . I'm going to see if you become a rich young ruler over here . Let's see what happens if you can go surrender .

Rhett 40:04

Well , accumulated , maybe not in in . You know . I know in our American culture we think of accumulation through . You know , stuff and money , but accumulation and reputation and gifting and platform in you know of all the things that we would look at and hold onto . You know you've given that up at this point , you've walked away from it . I mean you're out in no man's land of trying to all right married and trying to figure this thing out . Oh man .

Justin 40:31

Yeah , and then you step out and then you begin to deal almost that wilderness a little bit . You begin to deal with stuff that you didn't realize it was in you . So it's like when we stepped out it was like we were stepping out of a place we dearly loved . We were following a call . Deception will take a hold of you if you don't watch out , because he will try to take weak moments and he will try to isolate you and he will try to get you to walk in the grounds of unforgiveness and bitterness and let your wounds really become your anthem . If you will , I would end up going through that kind of season of jadedness Once I stepped out . I would go visit churches and we've talked about that .

Justin 41:08

But I knew we kept trying . We knew even through the feelings of that we're going to be a part of a church . Here we were starting something fresh . Praise the Lord the way it ended up working out , because it wouldn't be but a few months later , even in the frustration and woundedness or the hurt , we still knew we're going to go to local church because we , as you know I mean you and I , both we are believers in the local church and we came in our story . New church plant was about to start and , because we were looking , we went and visited Church of the Highlands and that became a great experience for us in those early days , as we've talked about on earlier episodes , with even how Pastor Chris really came to be someone to treat those wounds and to affirm and to rebuild . I went through a rebuilding season during that time but also just that sense of wow , it was affirmation and confirmation that that step out we were now bro , we were soaring .

Rhett 42:10

It's interesting to me , when the plane touched the ground in Orlando , the excitement , but also the doors that had opened for you to pull out the farmer's guide , looking at all the things that visit and making all those other plans , and whatever the plane's landing , let's call it Church of the Highlands for you and you're finding that peace . And then in that it's amazing how you began to dream of all the different things , of how you could serve the kingdom of God in new , fresh ways that you would have never if you would have stayed on the ground and just been visiting Destin the rest of your life .

Justin 42:42

The takeaway today , as we kind of set this up and close is really you've got to be in your word , the word of God .

Justin 42:50

You've got to be in a time of prayer and worship where you're focused on hearing the Lord . You've got to turn the noise around you down and have people in your life that are relational connections of friends , who are close and spiritual guides , who you allow that space of advisement in your life , and that can be parents , it can be pastors , it can be coaches , leaders , whatever it is we have to surround ourselves . We have to make sure the noise is turned down because ultimately , we have to hear what God's telling us . And a story like this the reason I even open up and share that is you might feel like you're going against the grain of the majority of people who would say , oh , I don't know if that's a right move to make , and you cannot over-elevate somebody because then you'll take their word like it's gold when it's supposed to be taken as it is guidance and wisdom and advisement . They too are people and when they express that's like my former pastor and youth pastor they're amazing men . But as I've learned getting older , they got dreams in their heart . They have calls that God's put on them too , and I can imagine I've been in this position long enough now .

Justin 43:59

I've had people who are on my team who are very gifted and they begin to feel this sense of stepping out . So I've been tempted with the same thought of like God , if they leave , that really kind of puts a wrench in what we're trying to do . But , man , and I would say because of my current leadership with Pastor Chris , I've learned this One of the first things I don't always go with my feelings , but when someone comes and lets me know , hey , I'm praying about this , I go there with them . Like I jump in and say , ooh , tell me about that . I don't make them think I'm scared because I'm not . I've learned long enough . God will take care of what we're doing and God's going to take care of what they're doing and we're going to all listen to the voice of the Lord .

Justin 44:39

And there's been many people and I guess because of my response , there's been people who've had that thought and they've probably let me advise them for two to three years before they've ever made the move , which has been beautiful because we've still gotten to gain their level of expertise and their spiritual leadership to take care of our congregation and it helped develop them more for when they actually stepped out . It allowed there not to be maybe a premature step out , but it gave them a safe place . That you know what and I learned this from Pastor Chris If you go and you find that it might not be the right move right now , the light is always on . This is always home .

Rhett 45:14

Yeah .

Justin 45:15

And if you give somebody that sense of you might be right , and even if you're not go for it , the aircraft carrier is still here If you need to come land back on this one . But you know what I'm believing for you ? That when you take off you've got another space that you're going to land in and you're going to go do some damage for the kingdom of God .

Rhett 45:33

As I listened to this . It's your honoring , which is an incredible thing , but you're honest in it , and so I can only imagine when you're sitting down expressing your heart and you're getting a response from somebody that you love , that you respect and still do today . But the truth is , the story is what it is , and to hear somebody I agree to disagree , that's not what you're expecting to hear .

Rhett 45:56

No you don't know what to expect . You don't . People are people and I love the fact that you didn't let people deter you from God , because your relationship has always been built on your faith and trust in who your father is as your heavenly father and you put your faith in him . You've never put your faith in man Right and because of that you know obviously God has blessed you for it . But it's just a great reminder that even in the church , people are people and I don't think necessarily the open-handedness has been taught very well , at least in the previous generation . Something happened where they felt the need to be able to control everything , so much so that it was like God speaks to us , and if God ain't speaking to me as your pastor , then whatever you're hearing is not of God and that is not even scriptural . Like what is scriptural is God , jesus , holy Spirit . Holy Spirit leading us , guiding us . Pastors are there to advise us , but oftentimes God will speak some things to us that may go against the grain of whatever the organization is saying .

Rhett 46:59

Now , what he speaks will always line up to his word for sure , but we've got to create as a leader , we've got to create a safe place of a home to go . Look , man , can I just be honest with you ? I'll never forget there was a family that moved with us to plant our church and they share with me much like you were sharing with your pastors at that time is like , hey , we feel like there's a transition and I just straight up said , man , you know what we love , you guys so much . Can I just be human ? I'm human and I'm selfish . I don't want you to leave .

Rhett 47:29

That's humanity right , but not my will , but God's will , and I trust that you've learned how to hear from God through his word and the Holy Spirit speaking to you leading you . I'm not your Holy Spirit leading you . Got in , so we will support you and all I would say my only advice , would be hey , if God spoke it now , and it's a good decision now , it would be a good decision later , and not to make an emotional decision . So maybe wait it out a little bit and if you still feel the same way in three to six months , all right , great . But at the end of the day , we love you , the light is always on and we don't want to see you go . But at the end of the day , you're not mine , you're God's and I had an opportunity , however short , however long , to get to steward that as a pastor . But you're ultimately God's and I entrust you to that .

Rhett 48:15

Whatever decision you make , whether it's to move back home , whether it's to go across town , whatever it might be , you have a family in us , the light is always on and our arms are always wide open and we just want you to know you have a home here . So go , experience it , follow the leading that God's speaking to you , but just know you always have a place . Now , that is not taught very often in the generation before us , but I think because you and I have both experienced different things like that , it has allowed us to lead that way now because of being on the receiving end and knowing

Leadership, Honoring Process, and Stepping Out

Rhett 48:47

how to . As you mentioned earlier , the people who have been on your teams that probably have brought a lot of value that you're like .

Rhett 48:54

God bless . I know we can develop other people , but man , if we lose these people ?

Justin 48:59

I would have loved to have told them they weren't here . I love you're here from God , but I would have been a little selfish .

Rhett 49:03

Yeah , I just think I mean , it's just time for us to be honest and go look , man , the human side of me . I don't want this to happen , but it's my selfishness . I hope this is not a God thing . You know , I hope it's the pizza you ate . But we love you and I appreciate you opening up and let's walk through this together . But at the end of the day , I want you to know that we love you , we support you and we're going to celebrate you .

Justin 49:25

To tag along , how Rhett beautifully just eloquently talked about leadership and how we can do better as leaders on that , how we can set ourselves up for the most success as the ones listening to our leaders . If you've experienced the wounds or the hurt , examine yourself and see have you been putting someone on too high of a pedestal ? Give grace to those who are in leadership , because we do hold leaders in the church yes , to a higher standard . I mean , that's all scriptural . There are things laid out that Paul wrote , but people are still people and if you put them on the right perspective of knowing , I honor them as my leader . But they're not perfect .

Rhett 50:03

Yeah .

Justin 50:03

So you got to understand the same emotion and grit that they use to build whatever they're building and being a part of , and God's using them . That same emotion is exuding and coming out to give their opinion , which might just be an opinion on you . So you got to be able to rightly divide what they said , but at the same time I encourage you be careful not to hold it against them , because what happens ? You'll carry this wounded heart and it can take the healing process and make it longer than really God intended for you to go through that process . He wants you to grow and he's sovereign and you'll grow through the pain . But sometimes we make the pain process a lot longer . And if we could just extend humility and grace to those in authority , it's amazing how much you see with different eyes , and heal from the wounds . That rightfully so happens when you're close to somebody and you look up to them .

Rhett 50:58

And the beautiful thing that I also learned too is , even though there was a disagreement , you honored through the disagreement . It's like I would love for us to be on the same page and get the support we're not we're getting some pushback , but you honored the process of how they chose to handle that situation . Yeah , and because you did , you're still in relationship with him today . You and I both understand the heart and the context . We're not looking at this through the lens of hurt or wounded . We're looking this through the lens of how many 20 something years have gone by . So we're looking at it through the lens of trying to help somebody go . Hey , look , here's some experiences in our life that we've gone through of transition . But here's how we would say hey , you know what ? There's a better way .

Rhett 51:39

And if I'm sitting down in the living room talking to my son , I would be saying , hey , your , your leadership's not always going to agree , but I've taught you how to hear from the Holy spirit . And it might be a little bit different , but as long as your heart is pure and you're honoring God , and you and you honor their decisions , even if there is a disagreement , but you just honor the process , god will honor you and I think it's that you know you don't have to be bitter , you don't have to get toxic , you don't have to like . I mean , you're going to have your emotions and you need to be able to filter those through with people who are close to you for sure , but ultimately , as it comes through , on the other end , there's nothing but blessing on the other side when you're obedient , even when people don't understand .

Justin 52:13

And that's the beautiful process of stepping out

The Other Side of a Step of Faith

Justin 52:16

. Boarding the plane , you discover there is an adventure out there , whatever the proverbial out there is for you . But God has called you to these assignments to take on and it will require these moments of some kind of a step out . That doesn't necessarily mean you'll leave your church or your organization to go start something . I mean it's a step out , a sense of your spirit , of letting go of that accumulation of reputation that you're now defining your life by and God saying , hey , rich , young ruler , go get rid of it and step into just experience again what it is to have me and only me .

Justin 52:52

It's really good , you're going to realize there was a land over here that I would have never known about had I not boarded the plane .

Rhett 52:58

Let's wrap this up and just a simple takeaway that somebody on the listening end can take away from your story from stepping out in faith , having some disagreements , but knowing you heard from the Lord and how you handled that , and if somebody's on the other end of this , how they can do the same thing with honor .

Justin 53:13

Yeah , you know , the decisions that we make are really something we've been doing before . It ever happens , like if you have to learn how to do something the moment the opportunity comes , you're not doing it the right way . It should be a life that you're living so that when the thing happens or comes up , you're responding based on your training . In my case , for seven years I'm at this amazing church , amazing pastor . I'm just so thankful for the leadership that he had put in my world and I would have different dramatic , dynamic moments that would end up happening as a young person in the inner circle of ministry and seeing a lot of things and bringing up a lot of questions . And on several occasions I would go to my pastor because that's who I knew to get guidance . And I would go Pastor , this is happening , this situation right here , and his response would be Justin , you've got to learn how to hear the voice of the Lord . So he would give me some things and go figure it out . Another big deal would happen . Here's something I'm going through , this is coming against me . He would say Justin , if you avoid this test , you're going to have to take it another day . Why don't you just go ahead and get this test done with now and pass it so that you can move to the next thing . God has Other occasions that I could repeat in similar deals . He had taught me these same responses On the night that we were stepping out . One of the final questions that he did ask me . He said Justin , you know I'm curious like in this process , you really never came to me and asked my thoughts about this . And when he said that , I told him Pastor , you have taught me how to hear the voice of the Lord . So when I heard it , I knew we were supposed to go . His eyes began to tear up . It was probably a moment of I'm going to miss you , but at the same time , he's now seeing me carry out what he had discipled and trained me to do .

Justin 54:57

The story in the podcast today was really about overcoming a fear . You're going to have obstacles . You're going to have obstacles . You're going to have things come your way that , at the end of the day the training and the listening and the advisement that you've gone through right now with the right people you've put in your life there's coming a moment . You're being built up and you're going to have to be responsible to make the call . My encouragement to you is not to go against people , but to make sure that you're learning how to hear the voice of the Lord . For those moments you have to take that radical step of faith in your life .

Rate, Review, Reach Out

Rhett 55:30

Thank you again for joining us on another episode of Armchair Authentic , a podcast with Rhett and Justin . It truly is our desire to help you fulfill your God assignments through real conversations about real life with real people . Please email us at info at armchairauthenticcom with any of your comments , your questions , because we want to take the time to answer anything that might be on your mind . So email us again at info at armchairauthenticcom and we will see you soon , god bless .