Longing for Idealistic Beach Living

Rhett 0:00

I have this way . It's the adventurous spirit of me to go somewhere and to think , man , I can live here . Yeah , I can do life here . Let's plant a church here . Let's do this Because I see the idealistic side of it .

Justin 0:10

I have a lot of desires that are not God desires . I hope , as I continue to journey , he's burning that away .

Rhett 0:16

Well , I've got to accomplish this type of grandeur . I've got to have this amount of money in the bank . I've got to have this size house . Dallas Willard says grace is not opposed to effort , it's opposed to earning . Well , hello , and welcome back to another episode of Armchair Authentic , a podcast designed to help you fulfill your God . Thank you so much to every single one of you who've taken the time to rate and review and even comment about the podcast on all your favorite streaming platforms . It really is a blessing to us and it encourages us , but more than that , it is also a great way that we can serve those people who are yet to go on this journey . Now , if you're joining us for the first time , we want to say welcome home , and we are so glad that you are part of the family , starting today on this journey with us . If you haven't already gone to Facebook or Instagram , we would encourage you to follow us there . Go there . You can find us at Armchair Authentic or even on X at Armchair Off Pod . That's Armchair Off Pod .

Rhett 1:48

Now , one thing Justin and I have been talking about is how much it is our desire to not only serve you with our stories , but also to serve you with the questions that you might be asking . In other words , we want to hear from you , we want to know what's on your mind , we want to be able to speak into the questions that you might be having right now as a parent or a single or a young adult , or no matter where you are in life . We want to hear from you because we want to create some content that actually serves you well . That's the whole point of this podcast . So here's what we would love for you to do . Would you take a moment after this episode and email us at info at armchairauthenticcom . That's info at armchairauthenticcom . All right , we're really excited about today's episode . You guys ready , let's go ? We received a text from our buddy who lives . Where does he live ?

Justin 2:48

Fort Myers , Florida .

Rhett 2:49

I was going to say it was South of Tampa . It's not Tampa , but it's Fort Myers , florida , right ? Uh , micah , dude , huge shout out to you . For those who don't know that are on this journey with us . Uh , justin and I , along with Micah , in our youth , we had a band and it was called 24-7 . And we started out singing acapella music together . That was kind of our like trio . We were a trio right Before we started adding instruments . I mean , our voice was the instrument . So talking about like swinging for the fence vocally singing acapella is like one of the hardest things to do , staying in pitch , and of course we had a lot of fun with that . So we've stayed in contact and friendship . But Mike has sent us a text . Actually it was , it was this morning and he was like dude went out . I'm paraphrasing , but I could , just I could sense it . He was like bro , like went out and play . I'm like on a beach volleyball league type thing now .

Justin 3:39

He joined a league .

Rhett 3:40

Yeah , he joined a league and Mike is an incredible worship leader , along with his wife Jess .

Rhett 3:44

And their kids are a phenomenal musical family . And so Michael texted us saying , dude , I was in this beach volleyball thing and it reminded us of when we would go to the beach together and us three would play beach volleyball . And the moment he sent that , you know , I was already thinking of the Top Gun moments of the old movie , of the beach volleyball and even the new movie where they're on the beach playing football . Oh yeah , and I could hear the soundtrack going on in my head , and Micah even said that I kept reading . The text is , like you know , reminded me of the Top Gun moment . I was like , oh my gosh , you know , same brainwave , yeah . And all I was thinking was like how , like dude , first of all , like thank you for sharing this was thinking it was like how like dude , first of all , like thank you for sharing this micah , I love you .

Justin 4:27

But the second thought was god my life .

Rhett 4:28

Like are you kidding me ? Like it's great , but if it could just be lived at the beach like this this would be the idealistic , like dream for rat would be to live that close to the beach and do those things and and um , anyway , just got me to thinking of just like the joys of of those moments , but also like the moments that I find myself in . Like every vacation I go on my wife always when we come back she's like we're not moving there . I'm like because .

Rhett 4:53

I have this . I have this way . It's the adventurous spirit of me to go somewhere and to think , man , I could live here , I could do life here . Let's plant a church here . Let's do this Because I see the idealistic side of it . Like you know , coming off of work and you know going and doing what our buddies do , and like the sun's setting , you're out on the beach and you've got the music playing and it's just this perfect weather , the breeze , and you're out there with your fellas playing some beach volleyball or even football or soccer or whatever , on the beach man .

Justin 5:28

And so yeah , they just got me thinking about that I mean that's , you drew a great picture . I mean , I think we would consider that would be paradise to us . It's ideal , you know . But at the same time , I've seen people who've made moves like that and they never go to the beach once they moved there because it's just so normal . But I would tell you , um , I think , the way that we love it but , I , would also say I've seen it in Micah , that brother , we talk on the phone .

Justin 5:47

You know , it seems like every week and our time that we'll call is he wakes up and he heads out to the beach and he has a certain walk or he grabs a coffee and he walks the beach . So he's not just ideal , he truly lives , he's living it , I mean so . I'm like , if anybody deserves the beach , it's Micah , because he lives it to the full .

Rhett 6:05

Yeah , and I had an opportunity at one point when I was living in Mobile . I was 45 minutes away and every Monday was our day off and I was living that . I was out there , my wife and I were there , we dropped our son off at school , we had the beach gear , we'd go to the beach and on those are on our day off and and so I miss those moments because I'm such a beach guy .

Rhett 6:26

So if you're listening to this and you're Northwest or Midwest , you know I mean there's idealism too in the mountains . When we live there it's like , hey , let's get all the friends around the campfire play . You know , let's go snow ski and let's go do this , yeah and so .

Rhett 6:42

But there's something to be said about that mindset . I don't know if everybody approaches life like that . I know you do and I do . I mean , even when I had the chance to visit San Diego one time , I was like , ah , I can live here , this is great . I can wake up every morning and go you know these guys out here surfing the waves and then go take a shower , get ready for the day , go and eat a nice little seafood or something at lunch .

Justin 7:03

And I don't know man , it's just well it's like , hey , in this zoom world I mean you know really , you know me and several have talks I'm like you could really live anywhere and do this stuff and she does a great job like letting me get it out and just talk about it . I'm like you could do this and still be as effective .

Justin 7:18

I mean I still would see this person here and we could just be there , because I'm envisioning the waves crashing in or I'm envisioning during the fall , exactly what you said the picture perfect of you have the round fire , but you've got the little small , tiny houses that surround it and we can all come out and meet together . But then we go back and have our own personal time . But oh man , just any of those nostalgic moments . It's because we've experienced that , or we've seen it and it seems like , wow , now that would be life .

Rhett 7:52

Yeah , it's like the movie moments that capture these , like you know , just these epic scenes of the families around whatever lake environment . What's the movie with Steve Martin ? He's the dad dad and he's married and they've got a ton of kids .

Justin 8:07

Cheaper by the Dozen .

Rhett 8:07

Cheaper by the Dozen where they're out camping and they go to the lake house every year . And then there's this huge event where the families all enter in this event and one of his buddies that he knew a long time ago .

Justin 8:18

They were always at odds with each other and their rivalry .

Rhett 8:21

And so they're on one side of the lake singing like john jacob jingle heimer schmidt , his name is my name too and then you can hear across the water the other family up their game around their campfire at their nice house and they're singing like acapella or some kind of music , choir number , mozart or something and they start going back and forth .

Justin 8:41

I don't know it's crazy , or you got . What about bob ?

Rhett 8:44

though , isn't it like lake winnipusaki or something like that , and he's just the .

Justin 8:48

He's the crazy patient who's got baby in the .

Rhett 8:51

And the guy wrote the doctor wrote baby steps , yeah , baby step dr leo barman and he's just calling for him . He knew that's where they're going , so it's just yeah funny it's so fun , man , and and you know , I think the downside we don't think about though , though , at least for a white boy like me is I remember when we were doing the beach volleyball .

Rhett 9:10

Like I didn't have a parent , that was like you need to put on sunscreen because you know , if you don't , when you hit your 40s , you might deal with skin cancer . You know it's like , which I have , by the way , had to deal with , but the Lord's been good to me , Thank God . But all that to say , I will never forget you guys nicknaming Chief .

Justin 9:28

We did because every time Pell White Rhett would make his way to the courts . As Rhett said earlier , me , rhett and Micah played volleyball . Me and Micah had more of a natural tan just how we were .

Rhett 9:42

Thanks for reminding me of that . I appreciate that Micah comes from a Lebanese background .

Justin 9:46

He got that . I don't know how I got it in my Scotch-Irish background , but I've always been tan . Rhett was white , pale white , and when he would go out there and we'd play without our shirts on , yeah , because I don't get suntan , I get red , yeah , rhett turned straight up red and his nickname was chief yeah , because , like for three or four hours straight in the sun , no sunscreen , shirt off .

Rhett 10:07

You know , now we were teenagers I had a six-pack . Let's go right .

Justin 10:10

You know , I'm like I'm , I'm at the best shape of my life but I'm just white and you were the tall guy yeah so you were always up front at the net blocking .

Rhett 10:19

Oh man , I'm so fun , I'll never get the sunburn , so there is a downside to this idealistic life , and so when I'm outside , I'm I'm like I have to now . I don't care I'm 40 something .

Justin 10:28

I got all this cream you're that guy .

Rhett 10:31

I'm the guy I put on my nose to go to the water park . I don't care , you know what , because at the end of the day I'm gonna be able to sleep and I'm not burnt and I'm good and I don't care anymore .

Justin 10:38

I'm married .

Rhett 10:39

I've got a kid . Who am I trying to impress ? That's right . They think you're awesome . Exactly you're that guy

Reflecting on Middle-Aged Regrets

Rhett 10:45

. You know so when you're talking about the beach scene something that's interesting , uh , during top gun , maverick .

Justin 10:52

so part one , top gun , it was the beach scene they're playing volleyball iconic scene , love that . That's where the double five happened , where it's up top then you take it down , yep with tom , with , uh , maverick and goose , but then on part two there was a beach scene where they're playing football . Yeah , so I was talking with someone who , um , counselor , counselor , and they were actually talking about how that moment in that movie created tons of triggers for some middle-aged men .

Rhett 11:22

It's so interesting . You say that because when I went and saw the movie I shared with you , I said , dude , I want to . It's a great movie . Like , if you hadn't seen it , go see it . We're talking about Top Gun , the second one , right and I was like , dude , there's this one scene I don't want to tell you what it is because I wanted there to be an element of surprise but there's a song that plays in the background . It's so cool and like this moment . You know , I'm a middle-aged man , I'm 45 , I guess at the time I'm 46 . I don't remember when it came out . Anyway , but here I am sharing this with you . Part of it , it makes sense . It was a thing I've heard that by multiple sources .

Justin 11:59

There's something about that scene , maybe because of the part one that was made in the late 80s . Those young boys I'm right in there now were middle-aged men and with those kind of scenes it triggers back memories of probably hopes and dreams and desires that you had . And it's just a little bit of that , not a wake-up call . It's that reminder , putting it back in front of you that as a boy maybe , and as girls too , the things that you wanted to accomplish you kind of realize oh , it didn't happen that way ?

Justin 12:31

And it brings a sense of grief , and not to jump to the end and say , hey , let's wrap this in a bow . There's a way to deal with that , because there is but that moment so real , and it's like , what do you do in that moment where you're facing that ? Well , some people have gone into a depression because they realize , or they have this false thought , the negative thinking , right as you think , that's what ends up happening A lot of times in your mind . It becomes a reality even if it's not . Ends up happening a lot of times in your mind . It becomes a reality even if it's not . And they're thinking to their self I'm a failure , I've not attained what I was supposed to go attain , I've not conquered the dragons that I was going to go conquer , and it brings a sadness .

Rhett 13:10

Well , I would say when I saw it it was kind of happy , joy , but also grief towards depression , and I wouldn't have been able to explain in that moment because it was , wow , man , look at the fun , look at the joy , wow , wouldn't that be amazing ? And oh wait , I had that when I was younger and it was those moments that you don't really . I know this is kind of a common theme with us , but enjoying the moments and not realizing that the moments you're in are actually some of the best moments you'll have in your life , that I carry to the next . And you can't live on that mountaintop forever .

Rhett 13:37

But I think just the beauty of that scene for me was the camaraderie with the guys .

Rhett 13:44

They were all against each other and at odds with each other , but then they came together and the relationships that were beginning to form really reminded me of our relationship , and even the relationship we have with Micah and some of the other guys in the band was just this idea of like man . There was a moment in time where we were actually living this scene and I didn't even realize it was some of the best days of our life in my mind , right In these moments that are enjoyable . But it also kind of opened my eyes to go , dude , like it's so important to keep relationships in your life because you you might not live out that scene in per se , but you can still live out that scene relationally , because I think I don't know , for me that was the point that was like , oh man , there's something to be said about just keeping in touch and and and creating moments of just those kinds of relationships that keep fun in your life even in your you know your mid forties .

Justin 14:33

Well , and when we keep the , if we think that the ultimate attainment is for our benefit . I understand how you can see many things in life and you think , oh wow , it's not living up to what I thought because your focus is on yourself , and so there's really that mindset . It's looking at the standpoint of what are we living for , and we've made it clear what our beliefs are when you're listening to this podcast . We believe that Jesus Christ came and died for our sins and he gave us grace , which means we can't do anything to earn it , like it's already . It's a gift from God . Now we have these works , if you will . That has nothing to do with our salvation , but these works are assignments that God's put on our life , but it's not for us . But when we live with the mindset that everything is for us , that's why it feels so empty . There was this quote that I want to read by Dallas Willard . He's a great theologian that had passed away several years ago , but he says grace is not opposed to effort , it's opposed to earning .

Justin 15:44

And it's that mindset of you don't have to do , you don't have to earn anything , like we operate . If you can operate on the foundation that Jesus was the end , all be all , everything was done at that moment . Now what are you living for ? So we're living to accomplish the assignments , the goals , the dreams that he's placed on our heart . So if you look at your life with those regrets , it's usually stemmed from something of I want to accomplish this or I need to do that .

Justin 16:18

It's really because the focus is so on yourself . And really , if you want to narrow it down in these short podcasts which can really create more conversation , I hope , more than anything it's arrogance , it's really the word hubris , it's the thought where you are thinking of yourself so highly . I don't mean you're necessarily walking around with a if you got that deed up personality . It's more of an arrogance that everybody sees because whoa get out of the way of a fired up . You know D personality . Who's arrogant ? Sometimes it's also those who are a little more they got you know . They're just more chill , they're more sanguine , but yet they can also have an arrogance where it's more about . They hold you in contempt , like there's nothing you can tell me that . I'm going to listen , because I already just kind of know how this is and their focus , our focus .

Justin 17:12

If we don't watch out , when we get trapped in one of these ways , it's because we're seeing the end game is for us and it's not actually a deeper end game , which is ultimately to bring glory to God and to lift up those and help those around us achieve the assignments that God's put in their life . And so we can have this self-esteem issue which we've addressed in previous episodes . But really worse than that is , we can have this overinflation of ourself and really it's the mindset of here you are , you look bigger than you really are and that might be the way you perceive yourself , or really even the way that you perceive somebody else being bigger than who they are , and they've really had nothing but a bunch of hot air pumped into them . But you can have all this hot air put into yourself and you begin to have an overinflated view of who you are , that you were supposed to accomplish something so magnificent At whatever level magnificent is for you , but you had it more focused on yourself .

Justin 18:14

And I think about this book that I've read Rhett I mean probably five times , and it's simple . I'd encourage a lot of you to . I've just I mean it's probably an hour read for you , but it's called the Freedom of Self-Forgitfulness by Tim Keller , and it talks all about this mindset of being too pumped up when really the goal is humility , which doesn't make you think I'm nothing Right , it just means I'm not over analyzing and making myself a lot larger than I really am .

Rhett 18:45

So , in context to the Top Gun scene , where middle aged men are looking at these scenes and looking at what's happening , we could have the tendency to think that , man , we've missed the mark so much that we have like , well , we're never going to experience . I mean , here we are , at middle age , thinking , oh man , my life doesn't look like that . But in the reason we feel that way is because maybe we've had an overinflated or mindset towards thinking well , I've got to accomplish this type of grandeur , I've got to have this amount of money in the bank , I've got to have this size house , I've got to be married this many years , my kid's got to go to this school , I've got to have this kind of car on this side of town or this type of job In somewhere . Somehow in life we've positioned ourselves , whether we've allowed culture to do it , but we've gotten to a place where we've allowed ourselves to think , wow , I've got to accomplish this in order to be successful . Because we haven't attained whatever , that false expectation or whatever we've put on ourself . We feel less than because we've really focused so much more on ourself and we've missed the moments of greatness that are right in front of us , of us being able to enjoy where we are , and not so much focus on that , but enjoy like , hey , there's greatness in every moment you find yourself

Embracing Humility and Faithfulness in Life

Rhett 20:03

in .

Rhett 20:03

I think of it through the lens of everything church planting , as a church planter . It's like , well , we launched with 262 , but it wasn't 500 . Oh man , I'm a failure , I'm miserable . Or it wasn't a thousand or it wasn't , you know . And I look through those lenses and I'm thinking , no , wait a minute , hold up . No , the success is obedience . The success is being faithful to what's in your hand . The outcome necessarily isn't what's important . It's the faithfulness to what's in your hand that's more important . And so if God allows those opportunities to happen , great . If not , then great . Just be thankful for the moment that you're in , with the people that you're with , and make the most of that , and it's amazing how God will bless you for it .

Justin 20:47

That's why you see the people who attain everything you just said . They slay every dragon . They become the CEOs . They accomplish great things because they wanted to achieve these awesome things , but they did it at the expense of forgetting what was right before them .

Justin 20:58

What is it if you gain the world and lose your soul ? It's that whole mindset of humility keeps you tethered to not thinking of yourself too highly . Humility also keeps you tethered to not thinking of yourself too lowly . I don't care what you think about me , but I also don't care what I think about myself . It's all about what does God think about me ? That's why we started this out . You know our belief system .

Justin 21:22

So when we speak , we have to speak on what's the belief system that we base everything on ? And if you don't base it on something stronger than yourself , you're going to live in those depressive moments that aren't going to stop with a beach scene . It's going to happen for the rest of your life because it's meaningless . If you remind yourself even as Christians we've got this , sometimes an Americanized idea that we just got to go live our best life . And so we begin building to go attain , attain , attain , attain . And you're listening to a guy who's done this for so many years and I've had to learn that process and the path of humility which has come through , unfortunately , times of humiliation that got me there , but it was all God's grace reminding me . Grace is not opposed to your effort , it's opposed to your earning . It's that mindset that I have to earn . So what is our mindset ? It's to live as Christ , to die as gain , like we have to remind ourselves . This is our belief system . So when you hear me talk , it's going to be in that way . At the end of the day , I'm not owed anything . I'm a slave to Christ , which means I've taken any right to myself and I've said Lord , whatever you have for me , that's what my goal is . I'm not perfect by any means . I have a lot of desires that are not God desires . I hope , as I continue to journey , he's burning that away .

Justin 22:46

I've spent as a musician and someone who has really been given the honor of pastoring , hundreds of worship pastors . I talked to a bunch of people who've they've written their gifting off because they said I've hit a certain age , I'm done now . Well , if your definition of being a musician and a vocalist , let's say that's a craft that you have , just like some of you work on houses and some of you cut grass , whatever it is . But if you are a musician and you're thinking that way , it's because you've put whatever that stage that says has to be young . That's the epitome of your expression , of music . Well , yeah , then that's going to be a really sad day at the beach when you watch that beach scene . Right , you're going to get down and you're going to disqualify yourself .

Justin 23:34

But if you look at it that your whole , sole purpose , in this case an artist , is to express your gifting for the glory of God and for the building up of others , well , my goodness , you've got endless stages for that , and that gives a fresh hope because once again , you tether yourself back to why are you doing this in the first place ? So when I see that beach scene , I'm not going to have my identity as wrapped around it , where it grabs a hold of me like . I'm not going to have my identity as wrapped around it where it grabs a hold of me like I'm a failure . But I can see the simplicity and say to go , do that means I'm not getting to be present here for my wife , I'm not getting to be present here for my boys , I'm not getting to help the wonderful staff that I'm a part of at Church of the Highlands .

Justin 24:21

To go do that means I'm not getting to serve Highlands College . You put yourself back on what's my assignment and when you do that , there's nothing more grand than what you're getting to do . There is always something that is alluring , always trying to win your attention , always trying to win your affection , and the enemy is constantly trying to distract you by showing you what you missed out on . You are in grace . There's nothing earned from this point . You can take today and continue what you've been doing for the glory of God and for the building up of those that God's put in your sphere of influence .

Rhett 25:01

So , justin , there was a verse that you mentioned earlier that stuck out to me is what is it profit a man if he gains the whole world but yet forfeits his own soul ?

Rhett 25:12

And so that reminded me of Deion Sanders life . You know , we're talking about somebody who thought so , like if there's ever been an athlete who overinflated himself , and he'll tell you like the pride level he had the arrogance and in the mindset of thinking he was the best of the best , nobody's better than him and in just overinflated right Pride , like he lived that life . He was living it at the highest level , giving himself his own nicknames and just marketing himself in ways that , hey , he's the best , he's the greatest , but yet even the greatest came to a place where he had to humble himself . And it was at the point of humbling himself where he began to experience fulfillment and his soul was ultimately fulfilled , and it changed his entire perspective on how he viewed himself and how he viewed the world and how he truly viewed what is epic . Romans 12 , 3 says do not think of yourself more highly than you ought , but rather think of yourself with sober judgment , in accordance with a faith God has distributed to each of us .

Justin 26:20

Thank you for listening to Armchair Authentic with Rhett and Justin . We had a great time with you today . We look forward to catching up with you next week , but until then , we'd love to hear from you so we can continue to create content in future episodes . You can email us at info at armchairauthenticcom . Have a great week . We'll see you next time .