Unhealthy Comparison

Justin 0:00

whether it's a guy or the girl . It's like there's not an ounce of fat . You would look and just think these are perfect beings . The magnifying glass tool and enhance certain features and how you hourglass the figure and he's showing me this and I'm thinking everybody is comparing their self to that You're comparing yourself .

Rhett 0:18

I'm never going to sound that good . I'm never going to be . Can I just tell you ? I have friends that are that don't sound that good . You're only hearing the best moments and then in those best moments they're being tweaked and auto-tuned and corrected Online environment that you might be comparing yourself to smaller worship team against larger worship team and bigger budget . They've just got the tools , the resources , the Photoshop that that editor had to show you those tricks of the trade to make people look different in an image . The artists have set such a level due to production to where they can't duplicate that live and it's like what in the world have we gotten into ? We're creating these moments of just like perfection that isn't real and we're trying to hold ourself up to something that can't even be obtained . More , more more .

Justin 1:01

The best thing that can happen to you in your comparison is a mental pig pen that you find yourself in and realize I had it so much better in my ordinary life .

Rhett 1:23

Well , welcome back to another episode of Armchair Authentic . It's so great to have you with us today . We've designed a podcast to try to help you fulfill your God assignments in life through having real conversations with real people about real life . Now , justin and I have been doing life with each other for over 38 years and it has been the joy of our life to really get the chance to steward our story in a way that serves your story . We do this through conversations and , in fact , one of the conversations we had today was around this idea of how unhealthy comparison can actually lead to being the thief of joy in your life . Now , before we dive into that conversation , I simply want to take a moment and say thank you again to every one of you who have taken the time to rate and review the podcast on all your favorite streaming platforms . It's so great to hear from you , but more than that , it is truly the best way that we can serve those who haven't found us on this journey yet . Now , if you are new to the podcast or you're joining us for the first time , we want to say welcome to the family man . Thanks for going on this journey with us today , if you haven't already done so . You can follow us on Instagram or Facebook at Armchair Authentic , or you can even follow us on Twitter , excuse me , at Armchair Off Pod . That's Armchair Off A-U-T-H , pod P-O-D .

Rhett 2:53

Now our hope for this podcast is to include you in on the journey . We want to talk about the things that you're thinking about . In fact , we want to try to help answer some of the questions you might be dealing with right now , and the best way that you can join us on this journey is to email us at info at armchairauthenticcom . That's info at armchairauthenticcom . All right , guys , really excited about today's conversation . Get ready , we're talking about unhealthy comparison , one of the topics that came up out of a question we asked on last episode . We asked yourself the question of what are we learning 25 episodes in ? Now , of course , this is episode 26 , but one of the thoughts we had that came up was how . Comparison is the thief of joy and , no matter what you do , how , if you're not careful , comparison can actually kill your momentum , kill your creativity and just really put a stop to everything that you're trying to accomplish .

Justin 3:55

Yeah , because comparison alone . To me , comparison isn't a bad thing . I think it can actually lead to a lot of great ideas . It can actually grow you in a lot of ways . But what ends up happening when we say the word comparison ? It's really unhealthy comparison because you're trying to live up to something that will never really be enough . Because we talked about on the last episode what did we learn through the podcast , and we talked about accountability , consistency , humility , vulnerability . But then comparison is where we stopped and said , whoa , let's just , let's make this an episode , cause this is like it feels like epidemic proportions what people are dealing with because we're inundated with our social media life . I mean really that you could just take that one right there and that's , that's enough , because we are constantly feeling good about where we're going uh , going with our life and what we're doing , only to see somebody else . They tend to be doing it

The Dangers of Unhealthy Comparison

Justin 4:53

better .

Rhett 4:53

Yeah , that's the thing about social media and the access to everything and everyone , especially in the algorithm world we live in . You know , used to there wasn't the algorithm that would feed you things that it thinks that you want to see . I remember going to Facebook . You remember the day where you go to Facebook and you would actually see your friends that you really cared about and wanted to stay connected with . Like you would see their posts , you would see their feed because , like , I'm choosing to follow them , because I'm interested in their their a friend .

Rhett 5:29

But now it's like I don't see people , like , did you see my post ? I'm like no , I didn't , I'm sorry . They're like well , what ? Why ? I'm like , I don't know , Maybe it thinks that you know , like , what you're posting isn't interesting to me . I don't know , it's so , so weird . So now , when we're doing searches and that we got on this topic because what are we learning from the 25 episodes in right and so , as we're studying podcasts and as we're looking at stats and we're looking at numbers and we're trying to learn from those maybe who are doing it better than us , so that we can learn that we can grow that healthy comparison right , we're getting inundated left and right , every moment , with every swipe of like you just said , like oh man , they've read our interest and now they are feeding us every ad or every guru at how we can make this so much better .

Justin 6:14

And it's the same thing that's happening with with the mom out there who's wanting to type in like parenting your kids , or the dad , or or the the corporate executive who's wanting to know how to do this . It's reading that algorithm and it is now feeding you a bunch of stuff saying it doesn't matter where you're at , You're not good enough .

Rhett 6:33

Yeah , that that's the lie , that that it tells if you bite into it , you know if you're in a healthy place in which we all hope to be healthy , healthy mentally and you know , not only physically but like in our mind , where we can see these things and see them for what they are and realize that's not reality . Instagram isn't real Like everybody's posting their highlight stuff and the best and how you need to buy this and do this and and so for us , you know , in this world , I mean , I'm being inundated as a parent , you know , as a father . I'm glad you mentioned that because , even if , even if you're interested in maybe doing a remodel in your house , it's like , oh , I'm thinking about doing this and or whatever from Pinterest and all of a sudden now it's feeding you what you know and you're seeing everything else done at an unlimited budget and it's done pristine , with videographers and and you know , you've got the , the incredible lighting and the pictures and you get into it .

Rhett 7:34

And now you're like , well , screw it you know , until I have 10 grand , I'm not going to spend a thousand on what I was hoping to do . And so you left , you're left , defeated , and it it's . So . I just think if we're going to be authentic , if we're going to be honest you know , when we're talking about the podcast and we're looking through the lens , it's just , it's easy if we don't remember our why and why we're doing this . It's so easy to get off track and to end up somewhere we never intended from the first place . We all hear that story about the plane that took off from LA that's on its way to New York . If it's off by one degree , like if they enter in the coordinates off by one degree , like over time , what's going to happen is that plane isn't going to end up in New York , it's going to end up somewhere in South Florida or wherever it's going to end off track right .

Rhett 8:23

And so this idea of comparison , it really can steal your joy and it can defeat you and hold you back , if you let it , from actually seeing the good things that are happening , or even hold you back from taking a step towards what it is God might be asking you to do as a husband , as a father , as a parent , as a business owner , as an employee . Yeah , I feel bad , for I don't know if I want to say I a husband , as a father , as a parent , as a business owner , you know , as an employee .

Justin 8:45

Yeah , I feel bad , for I don't . I don't know if I want to say I feel bad , but you know , I want to encourage my brothers out there who maybe they're about to get engaged or whatever it might be , because my goodness , that's the world itself . I bet every time a friend gets engaged the guy's thinking oh my gosh , I've got to level this up because my friend just had the Air Force . They just did a flyover that spelled out will you marry me ?

Justin 9:14

And it's like man that's the stuff that we're living with right now , like how can you , how can you beat the next one ? And it makes me look back to you . Know , I'm very thankful for my simple botanical gardens , japanese gardens . Standing on the red bridge proposing to my wife , almost dropping the wedding ring into the water below us , but she said yes and that was a beautiful moment . We went and had a dinner together and I got her some roses that there was no socials to go post that on and make it this epic event that it's in my mind and we'll never forget that special moment . And what happens when you say it's the thief of joy , it's also just a thief of these moments because , unhealthy comparison .

Justin 9:55

If you're trying to live up to what another person is living up to , it gets you in dangerous territory where you're missing what's happening right before you , because , instead of the contentedness to embrace what is your life , you actually become discontent and you're constantly looking into someone else's vineyard , if you will , to say , man , now that vineyard looks awesome and you're not tending to what's been given to you . You're not taking your story , your story , you're looking at everybody else's and trying to write a new one , and you leave what actually could be pretty extraordinary if you just lock in to what your place is .

Rhett 10:37

I was having a conversation with a pastor the other day and I was just encouraging him and he and his wife to do an incredible work for the Lord . And I was encouraging him because it was something that I needed to receive as well when I was leading a church at that level . And it's so interesting how you can be in the middle of a miracle , in the middle of an incredible God story , have wonderful people around you and God be doing so many wonderful things in the families and just the relationships that are happening , but yet you can be in the middle of that miracle and not even see the moment for what it is , because you're constantly looking for the next or you're constantly looking for where you aren't yet and a lot of that is driven by comparison or a lot of that is driven by well , like I'm a church planter and man , we're only a hundred people , but the guy that planted the same year as me , I follow him on social media and he's at 250 . We're doing all the same things . So it's like I can't stop to enjoy where I'm at because I'm comparing myself to where I think I should be based off of what another church planter has done or is doing and it's a completely different story and a completely different demographic and a completely different financial situation , with a completely different demographic and a completely different financial situation , with a completely different source of relationships and team when they started and when they planted .

Rhett 11:58

And so the culture we live in , with what we see and what we're inundated in , with the things that we love , that we like , that we're looking forward to or that we're in in a business it's so easy to , like you said , to see what other people are doing and to miss the moment in the miracle of the just God moments and God story that you're currently in . And when I was sharing this with him , I said , man , whatever you do you know I'm telling this to you because I needed to hear it myself I wish , if I'm looking back in hindsight , I wish I could have slowed down enough to really just now . I know I'm a leader , you're a leader , we're always looking forward , but my encouragement to you is learn how to slow down and enjoy the moments that are right in front of you and just thank God for those moments , be grateful for those moments and really just be in those moments so that you can appreciate what God has done . And we're .

Justin 12:54

You know what's happening right now in front of you . When you talk about church planning , there are those out there thinking well , it doesn't exist there , surely ? Because I know that our audience really represents a pretty big body of yes , it might be church planners , but it's your normal entrepreneurs , it's your different nine to five workers in their organizations . It happens even in the church world , because it's not just relegated or separated to one industry . This is a normal human condition .

Justin 13:16

There's actually an article by Jim Taylor . He's a PhD at the University of San Francisco and he talks about all these deals with comparison , and one of the things that he says is to actually deal with it first . It's okay to accept that this is normal . He says accept that social comparison is a normal part of being human , but that doesn't mean you should keep doing it . So you accept it first , but then you also recognize it next to realize , hey , here I go again , Because we're doing it . It happens in every space that you can occupy . And it's the joke of we talk about a movie we love , the Greatest Showman , that beautiful voice of a singer . When she said never enough , Never enough , Never , never , never enough . She was right . She knew what she was talking about . Yeah , what a powerful song . It's never enough , it really isn't ?

Rhett 14:11

I mean , I know I'm talking contextually , through the lens of the pastor I was talking to , but you're right as a husband , and how you're loving your wife , right , and you're wanting to take care of her . Or maybe do the anniversary . You know , maybe you are , like you mentioned earlier , in a season of being engaged and you're about to ask somebody to marry them . Now you're freaking out because you're like , oh God , I got to outdo the next guy . Well , the same thing happens no matter what context you're in . It's just that human condition of being able to look at what I have is not enough compared to what I'm seeing from somebody else . So the grass is not greener on the other side . I love this in marriage , right , we always think , well , the grass is greener on the other side . And no , the grass is greener where you water it . Yeah , so true , the grass is greener where you maintain and you're intentional and you're consistent and you just stop looking out and start looking in and just having this heart of gratitude . And it does come with contentment . And I think , ultimately , the human condition , apart from God , is that we're not content , right , because we're constantly looking to fill the hole and the void relationally , so we get involved in all these different things , but then when you come into a relationship with God , he fills that void . You experience this peace , you have this contentment in your soul , but then at that point you begin to as a Christian .

Rhett 15:32

I can speak as a Christ follower . We're in the world , but not of the world , but we're living in the world that's constantly bombarding us with images and all the things of comparison that we can compare ourselves to . And if we're not careful and we forget who we are , then we can get our eyes on who we're not or who we were never supposed to be and forget the moment of like oh my God , god's done so much for me .

Rediscovering Gratitude and Presence

Rhett 15:57

I mean , if I look back and I just take my story alone and look back at God's faithfulness and God's provision , do I have everything that I want ? No , but do I have everything that I need ? Yes , absolutely , and I've always had everything that I've needed for every moment that I've been in in my life .

Rhett 16:16

But if I look through the lens of what I don't have or the guy down the street that has the boat , has the bigger car , or the bigger house and the multiple vehicles and the motorcycle and the vacation home and the condo or whatever . If I'm looking through that lens , well , of course I'm like well , it's easy to forget the blessing that God's put in front of you . So the question I ask is well , how do we keep ourself on track , how do we keep ourself from falling into the trap of comparison ? Because the reason we even got on this topic is because , when we look at what God has done in this podcast and we look at the difference it's already making and has made and , by the grace of the Lord , will continue to make , how do we keep ourselves in alignment with who we set out to be as Armchair Authentic ?

Justin 17:00

Yeah , I find it very interesting everything that you're saying and how can we do this ? And I think we could go on with our own list . I mean , first of all , it makes you miss the important moments in front of you . For example , the other night I had some things that I needed to do . I would love to say that I always capture the moments and say , do you really need to do it ?

Justin 17:19

But I was in that moment of something that I'd seen and I wanted to kind of go adjust something over here . Maybe it was a fine comparison to make me better at something , but what it did it was the inappropriate time and it occupied a certain moment in life I was given and I'm sitting in the chair and thankfully it's like you know those moments where you come to and you realize , oh my gosh , I'm sucked into whatever it is . And I just stopped and I talked to my second oldest , kai , because we've been talking about he wants to play guitar and we try to find time to do it and just randomly I don't know where I'm sitting there and I just sat down the computer and I realized I got about 15 minutes said hey , why don't you go get your guitar ?

Justin 18:00

I didn't necessarily want to , because my , my drive of trying to achieve this thing was locked in , but it was that sense , that generous sense you get of this is good . And so I told him and he was like sure , I mean , he stopped what he was doing because he was ready . And here we are , and we only did it for 15 minutes , but when you look what happens after , how do you feel whenever you take a certain moment , and after that moment I felt like that has a huge return on investment , because that's my son and not only did we learn some chords , but we had this time together and sometimes , as the phrase goes , we need to just stop and smell the roses . That is the moment because , if you really look at this I was talking about the list a while ago by Jim Taylor , phd , and I'll give you a few lists that

Guarding Against Unhealthy Comparison

Justin 18:50

he has . I pulled this up from Psychology Today . It was just really good information .

Justin 18:54

It says acknowledge that continuing to compare will only hurt you . These are the unhealthy comparisons . Acknowledge it If you want to get better at this . Acknowledge first that continuing to compare is going to hurt you . The next one that he says get this realize that we tend to compare our lesser qualities with others' best qualities . That's not apples to apples . I mean , think about that when you said a while ago when you're seeing somebody , whether it's social or whether it's on a stage , you're seeing the best of them and what you're doing is you're comparing the least of who you are and it's not the reality of what's really going on . So when I see Brad , Pitt .

Rhett 19:35

I look through the lens of okay , lord , you gave me a big head and a big nose and this guy's just like you know . Come on , man .

Justin 19:42

Seriously .

Rhett 19:43

I know I kid , but like it's just , you know at the same time , that's just the reality .

Justin 19:48

It's funny because you're seeing him through the filter the time . That's just the reality , right , because you're seeing them through the filter , it's it's . The great point you made is , before social media was a thing , me and a band I played with a long time ago we were releasing an album and I had this professional photographer who really worked a deal with me . He wanted to get more into this industry that I was playing in and I wanted his expertise , but I didn't have a big budget for it and I couldn't afford somebody of his caliber . We worked a deal and I drove over to Atlanta and me and the band worked with him and so he took some amazing photos . I couldn't believe . It was like wow , this feels awesome . But then he pulled out his laptop and he was showing me . We were just getting in conversation .

Justin 20:27

I remember taking him out from some really good street tacos and I guess it's like maybe alcohol , because street tacos gets you opening up and talking . So it's like maybe the salsa got him talking , because he just started kind of going over some tricks of the trade and he showed he did . He did a lot of hip hop music and a lot of these artists who you just look and they just look ripped , whether it's a guy or the girl , it's like there's not an ounce of fat , it's just . You would look and just think these are perfect beings like photoshop .

Justin 20:58

He's showing you how to kind of he showed me well , he showed me how you get the magnifying glass tool and enhance certain features and how you hourglass the figure and he's . He's showing me this and I'm thinking people have no clue it's the movie , but it's the movie posters .

Rhett 21:14

You see , when you walk in , like they don't look like that .

Justin 21:16

Oh they're .

Justin 21:17

They do like they're chiseled and yeah their face is kind of cut in and brought in and they just perfect tan and this is probably 2003 and I still remember that it changed my perspective and I started , I remember leaving thinking everybody is comparing their self to that and that wasn't even possible for that guy or that girl . He just spent 30 minutes enhancing them in any muscle feature you can imagine and they looked amazing . And if , if he or she would have walked up to me on the street , I wouldn't have recognized them . Imagine anything that you want to , not just your body . We live in that corporate side . We live in those , as we talked about , as we have explored how do we do this better with the podcast or whatever . You now get ads of these people and they're giving you the magnified view , the enhanced view of . Here's what you could do if you would just go with my brand .

Rhett 22:15

Well , when you bring it into perspective of like worship , for instance , the thing that popped in my mind was we're comparing ourselves against the impossible . So if you're a worship leader at a smaller church and you're doing things online , you know you're going to listen back to those and go wow , this , this is not . I mean , even though you're giving your best and you could be as professional as possible , you don't have the equipment that churches do , with million dollar budget , with auto-tune and a separate producer and a separate audio engineer , uh , doing the online feed . And so you're comparing yourself and go I'm never going to sound that good . I'm never going to be . Can I just tell you ? I have friends that are that don't sound that good . I've listened to recordings and I'm like that's not their real voice . I mean it is , but it's been doctored and tweaked in a way to where it's like anybody could sound good with that much work and that much production and that much mastering on top of editing , because you're only hearing the best moments and then in those best moments , they're being tweaked and auto-tuned and corrected and all the weird stuff that would naturally happen in a song or a singing environment is being taken out of the studio recording , but also in an online environment , that you might be comparing yourself to smaller worship team against larger worship team and bigger budget . It's an unfair , because they don't sound like that in real life . Away from that , they've just got the tools , the resources , the Photoshop that that editor had to show you those tricks of the trade to make people look different in an image or sharper .

Rhett 23:45

Same thing happens with singing . That's why when you go to concerts now , like half the time , like you're hearing , like you're not even hearing the person really sing , you're hearing all the track and you're not even really hearing the artist , because the artists have set such a level due to production to where they can't duplicate that live and they don't want to let people down . And so then it creates inferiority complex to where it's like I'm not as good as the product that I'm putting out when I try to sing live . So now I'm just going to lip sync or I'm going to , you know , maybe have some moments where the moment does go live , where I kind of emcee a moment , but they're singing on top of track , on top of track and it's like what in the world have we gotten into ? We're creating these moments of just like perfection . That isn't real , and we're trying to hold ourself up to something that can't even be obtained .

Justin 24:30

What we'll do is , we'll call that excellence . But what really happened is you're building an audience up of people who want polished performance and that's not who you are as an artist Instead of building up your group of people who enjoy the artist and the art that comes from even the most rawness of voices , because there's an appreciation for that , and so that's happening in your workspaces any area that you're in .

Justin 24:58

If you're creating this perfectly polished product , you're attracting the people who are only into that perfectly polished product and you're missing , maybe , what your audience in life is , who will relate to your story and you'll , in turn , help them navigate their story . All because this comparison mindset even if it's a perfect side of you on your best day , you can't always be optimized for that peak performance .

Rhett 25:26

When I think of what roots us and grounds us in this , the identity of who we are . We have to know who we are . We have to have a vision for our life , for our , for ourself first of all . For if you're married , you know you have to have a vision for your family , like who , who ? I'm so tired of people asking me , like , what do you do ? I'm like , well , you know I , I respect that question , but I think the better question to ask is who do I want to become , or who am I becoming ? Because out of who I am becoming , everything else makes sense . So for me , I always have to bring myself back to if I'm going to really put a stop to the comparison stills my joy for myself , I have to come back to who am I , who am I becoming and what ? Basically , what's the vision that I have for my life , for my family ? What's the vision I have for my finances ? What's the vision I have for my business ? What's the vision I have , what ? Our vision for the podcast ?

Rhett 26:25

Right , because when you know who you are , that is the rock , that is the foundation , and no matter what tries to come against you from the outside to try to lure you to become something that you're not or to lead you a different way . You can always filter every decision that you make . You can always come back to filter that through . If I make this decision or if I go this road , or if I bite into this , does that line up with who I am becoming or who I want to become ? And if it doesn't line up , then just throw it in the trash . Can that's so good ? And come back to who you

Embracing Individuality and Vision

Rhett 26:59

are .

Rhett 26:59

Because the podcast we just simply wanted to create a moment of just authenticity , to capture our conversations , to steward our stories , to steward this relationship that God has given us in a way that , if anything , would just benefit our family and maybe some friends , and stick to that . And because if we're not careful , 25 episodes , 26 episodes in and counting , we could end up biting into the same comparison and become something we never intended to become and to feel like we've got to do this , or we got to do this , or we got to do that , or we've got to lean into this or lean into that , when that was really never the intent . And that's the . That's what comparison can do overall in the longterm .

Justin 27:40

Yeah , and like how you said , you're really not just buying into but it's like you're biting into this . It really is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil . We have been doing this since the beginning of mankind , where we have a good thought by it . We want to be more like God , because he's all-knowing . He didn't create us to be all-knowing . He created us to live in this wonder of loving who he is and us enjoying each other and the beautiful creation he gave us to help take care of . But it was never meant to be from this toil , the ground being hard to produce . He gave us this environment where , had we not originally sinned we'd still be working , but it would be this creative , artistic work , because God took pleasure even in his work . And so we're living in this life not taking on what the artist of artists has given us in our daily work . Instead , we're still trying to eat from that tree of the knowledge of good and evil . And so another one of these that Jim Taylor PhD talks about .

Justin 28:46

He says when you're comparing to somebody or when you're doing the whole comparison thing , recognize that you only see the outside of a person and have little knowledge of who they are inside . They may appear happy on the outside but may be miserable on the inside . So there's a cost that you think , man , I've got to do all this to become that . But if you would let that story actually finish and go maybe we've talked about this before . I know you and I have . I like to go to Wikipedia when I'm in one of those wanderlust moments or maybe find myself on the verge of am I envying somebody ? And I'll go read their story and this is no judgment on anybody who's walked through this . God's grace is fresh for today . But I'll read about all these successes . That is what you hear about . But if you get into the story , you also see that this man or this woman , three divorces later yeah , what cost Eight children who don't want anything to do with them ? But yet all we're talking about from the world is they're on the red carpet .

Justin 29:46

Look at their successful business .

Justin 29:48

And it gets back to what is what success , and when you're blinded by that , you're eating that fruit and you're just going straight at more , more , more , until you find that the best thing that can happen to you in your comparison is when you're even if it's a mental pig pen that you find yourself in and realize I had it so much better in my ordinary life . And sometimes God is wanting to get you back to realize the amazing , epic moment that we've talked about in episodes before . It was this ordinary moment that you were already in , and all he asked of you and all he asked of me was to steward our story , not somebody else's .

Rhett 30:33

I love that question what is success ? What is success for you ? Is it more money ? Is it more fame ? Is it more clicks ? Is it more followers ?

Rhett 30:42

For me I've said it before , I'll say it again and I'll probably word it differently every time but the goal for me is success , of you know , is that I'm loving God and that I'm loving my family and that my family loves me . And that is the core , because I want to become a person , I want to become a man . I want to become , you know , somebody that my family loves and I love my family and they love me . And you know we're talking about this whole idea of comparison , right ? The idea to fight back on that is you got to come back to the root of who you are and who you're becoming and know that if you don't have a vision for your life , begin to write that down and keep it simple . Keep it just keep it simple , because when you come back to that , it roots you , it grounds you and it can be a filter for every other decision , every other distraction that might come your way to keep you from really truly becoming who you want to become , but also the trap that you can walk in , to get you into a place where you can't even see what's in front of you and can't be grateful for the moments that you're having .

Rhett 31:40

One thing I was thinking about earlier that you mentioned was talking about living in the moment . July 4th just happened and I refused to take picture of fireworks . I mean , like on your scroll , you scroll your , your , you know your Instagram , your Facebook , you probably saw nothing but fireworks . You know what I ? You know where I was . I didn't have my camera out . I did my phone out . I wasn't trying to film anything . I looked to my right . My son was in a chair and there was . We were singing God bless America or whatever song was happening .

Rhett 32:07

You know , when the fireworks are going , I look to my left and there's my wife . I look over . I see a family of friends . I look out in front of me , I see thousands of people gathered together on this mall over in Trustful and we're just . It's like , it's just incredible moment and it's a moment that will live in my mind forever . I stopped , I slowed down , I enjoyed the moment . I wasn't looking through the lens of a camera , I was living in a moment and I wasn't caught into comparison , thinking , my God , I wish I was on the other side of town watching that firework . I can't believe I'm not in New York . I can't believe I'm not in DC , I can't believe you know wherever . 30 minute firework session you know we had 15 minutes . It was great , but I was with my family . We had this incredible moment and it's something that I'm like . You know what this is success right here .

Justin 32:49

This is life . This is a beautiful moment and no one will ever take that picture . That picture is forever embedded in your brain and you're going to take that moment with you forever , and that's the beauty of this . It's like accept who you are . I'll read just a couple of more of these before we wrap up , because it says it perfectly Accept your humanity Like that acceptance is huge . You were wired so uniquely . Yeah , we don't have to compare . If we want to compare in the good way and learn and get better , great . But if you're feeling negative who you are , remind yourself you were created by the creator of creators and accept your humanity because we're all imperfect beings who still deserve love , respect and appreciation .

Justin 33:39

Another thought is what are some of the strengths that you can think about ? Focus on those strengths , focus on your goals and how to achieve them , and remind yourself who you want to be . You know deep inside this sense of who you are and we don't mean like just go , be your best life , be you . We believe you look at everything according to the word of God that he placed and said you are , and we're trying to become that on the daily and so lock into who you are and accept it .

Justin 34:12

And the best way to do that which I think it would be great to spend our next episode on is to actually limit your social media intake . If you have this addiction which I understand , I think we would a majority of us would probably say wow , I'm way too into this . Imagine what would happen if you could limit the time . Maybe that's 15 minutes , maybe that's an hour , I don't know what your time is or do you feel the sense of you have a great moment and then you go and watch something and you compare and it's like the bird from the sky that comes and plucks that seed and it's gone .

Rhett 35:02

Yeah , I'm looking forward to that conversation . In fact , as we were talking through this , I was already thinking through some of the things that I've done to limit my social media intake . And it is . There's a lot of joy on the other side . Right , it's called selective ignorance . Right , I select to be ignorant . I don't have to know everything of what's happening around the entire world at every moment , from every aspect of the planet , from every news channel , every source . Like , there is a peace that passes all understanding , that guards our heart and mind in Christ Jesus . When we make decisions , right , those decisions filter through the lens of the vision of who we want to become . And if we don't , if we want to have joy , we have got to make decisions that line up with what brings us joy in our life for who we are becoming , and I look forward to carrying on that conversation in next episode . Until then , god bless

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Rhett 35:53

conversation in next episode .

Justin 35:54

Until then , God bless . Thank you for listening to Armchair Authentic with Rhett and Justin . Hey , we enjoyed being with you today . If you would take a moment and rate and review our podcast when you do that , it helps spread the word of Armchair Authentic . We'd also love to continue this conversation with you , so reach out . Let us know what's going on at info at armchairauthenticcom . Well , until next time , we hope you have a great week . See you soon .