Rhett: 0:00

We can only speak for our story, for where it was. I didn't know how to have peace in the tension, so therefore, I ran from tension and became the peace quote maker, and my ability to try to create peace in every environment was to run from conflict.

Justin: 0:12

And that's the worst thing you could ever do I'm with you.

Rhett: 0:19

Be kind, be nice, be friendly. Hey, all right, we're not going to talk about that. Let's change the subject. Let's keep moving, but the goal is like no, no, no, let's have this out, let's have the conversation and learn how to grow through this tension to get the better result on the other end that's so well said.

Justin: 0:36

Like that I mean talk about covering a multitude of sin. I could have covered a multitude of wasted time or frustration of wasted time or frustration, even in ministry, growing up many years later. That stuff. I would back off like, well, if you're going to come in that high, I guess I'm going to act like you're right and I would back off and feeling like I'm the right one by backing off. But I'm the one who avoided the chance to say but I don't agree with that. Here's how I see it.

Rhett: 1:12

What is going on, friends? Welcome back to another episode of the podcast, with your friends Rhett and Justin, right here at Armchair Authentic. It's always great to have you along for the ride today. We cannot wait to jump into the conversation, so we're jumping into it right now. You guys ready, here we go. Some people probably think that we just like cut in and like just started laughing.

Justin: 1:42

That used to be the cool thing to do.

Rhett: 1:43

like albums, Like something was said or whatever. We're just looking at each other trying to figure out how to start this laughing. It used to be the cool thing to do, like albums, Like something was said or whatever. We're just looking at each other trying to figure out how to start this thing. It makes you laugh and full disclosure. We just had like 10 chocolate chip cookies, man yeah, and a whole thing of sweet tea.

Justin: 1:55

So good. Thank you, by the way. Oh, you're welcome For lunch my pleasure Corn dogs.

Rhett: 2:00

Thank you for the corn dogs. Yeah, bring people into perspective here. Here we are having a conversation after a conversation from another episode that we recorded that will be released here pretty soon, and we needed a chance to, you know, eat some food.

Justin: 2:15

And unwind and unwind. Conversations are in. I mean, even if they're great combos, as you know, they take a lot out of you. So you got to have a little bit of that. You just got to have a little bit of that, just you just gotta have I, I needed to re-energize. I have to have a re-energizing moment.

Rhett: 2:29

Yeah, no me too, and here's here, here's just the full disclaimer. We are, we bake chocolate chip cookies and then, and then we ate two corn dogs with chips and chip dip, whatever. Yeah.

Justin: 2:45

The heck of a. I'm not much the heck of a, I don't know if I can say it.

Justin: 2:49

Well, the dip is called hell of a.

Justin: 2:51

Oh, hell of a dip. Yeah, you say it really hell of a. It's like a play on words. It just hits you, didn't it? Yeah, yeah. I thought it was just called hell of a Slow it down, hell of a Some of the best chip dip out there If you don't have that in your state or country. But that's literally the name.

Rhett: 3:11

That's literally the name.

Justin: 3:13

I never thought that.

Rhett: 3:16

That, in addition to some Milo sweet tea, I totally get it as I'm thinking it now.

Justin: 3:20

I'm like god. I just said that no, you're fine, it was innocent, well you're not that it was innocent.

Rhett: 3:25

Yeah, yeah. Well, you're not that innocent. Cue the Britney Spears song. I don't know what you're talking about, anyways. So this conversation might be one full of high energy, because we've got like a seven-year-old you put a little pump of sugar in them and they're spinning around the wall. So the beginning of this thing might start pretty fast.

Justin: 3:48

It's going to be an epic ending, though, guys, it's slowly going to crash down, so just get ready for the ride today. The crash down, though, will fit the moment we'll take it to, yeah.

Rhett: 3:56

So something interesting, I would say that was challenging for me. Yesterday I walked out to my little 2006 little Miata. It's a 2006,. Right, it's almost 20, what? 20 years old. So the top on it, I know, had a small little leak. I knew that when I bought the car and I knew that eventually I'd probably need to replace the top. Eventually, yeah, and which is it cheap? And I knew that I already had built in the margin and go okay, if I fix this, it's going to be around this, but I can wait, right, right. Well, we had a lot of intense thunderstorms come through over the weekend.

Justin: 4:31

And it was intense.

Rhett: 4:32

Yeah and and so a lot of rain, and I should have thought well, it didn't matter if I would have thought or not, we only have a. It's a two car garage, but let's be honest, you can really only put one car in the these days, for sure, you know it's a two-car garage.

Justin: 4:48

I'm like no, it's not, this has been a while, yeah, I got a house. I got a house with two garage doors well, that's a truly two garage situation. It's still a one car garage, I mean we can't fit another car.

Rhett: 5:01

So. So the car is outside and I'm thinking. I never thought to myself to think, hmm, that's a lot of rain we had. I wonder car. So the car is outside and I'm thinking. I never thought to myself to think, hmm, that's a lot of rain we had. I wonder if that impacted the car. Yeah, so yesterday I go out and get into the car and I'm like, hmm, there is a lake I'm not making this up of at least an inch of water on the driver's side floorboard, I mean that's. And I'm like, oh my gosh, so I got you know.

Justin: 5:27

Well, let me say this too, because I'm not getting to give a fair reaction, because me and you talked about this, but when you told me that I was like, I thought you'd just been an inch of rain, but I was like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Like in the car, your car on the driver's side sat down your feet would have been oh yeah, that my, my soul of the shoe would have been soaked and I was like huh this is not good.

Rhett: 5:48

So I went and got a bunch of towels. Old ones started trying to sop it. You sop it up, is that a word?

Justin: 5:54

yeah, I don't know it is with bread yeah, okay, thank you.

Rhett: 5:57

And I realized it wasn't doing the job and I was like hold on, what am I doing? I'm going through five towels already and I'm just not knocking a dent in this thing and I'm thinking, oh, I bought that shop vac for a reason and so I went and got it and turned it on and it took me a while, probably about I don't want to say 45 minutes yeah, and I'm sucking it up, pouring water out. I mean, I got a whole picture. Did I show you the picture? No, well, it to you later, but the picture of the water, you might have to put that on the yeah, the intro socials when this episode, bro, is and in, and so yeah, clearly and so I.

Rhett: 6:30

I sucked up all the water through the shop back and then I did what any smart man would do is I turned the heater on the car, shut everything and just let the car run for about an hour and 15 minutes. I go out and check on it every once in a while, make make sure everything was, you know, not overheating or anything.

Justin: 6:46

Yeah and uh that not make it mildewy.

Rhett: 6:50

No, well, that's the point of like doing the, the heater is drying it out, so it is Okay. So the heater, I guess.

Justin: 6:55

Yeah.

Rhett: 6:59

So I completely a ride and kept it out in the sun a little bit, and yeah so it's as if it never even happened at this point, but yeah, so that's not a great way to start out your day. I was literally about to head over and get my coffee, you know, and I was like, well, this is going to be a little interesting. My.

Justin: 7:15

Monday or whatever day it's like this is going to be different, so yeah. Dude, I'm sorry, yeah Well there's that, but now it's good.

Rhett: 7:24

It's good now it's dry, but I have. Now I told my wife. I said, okay, here's what happened. I said, ultimately, you know we're going to have to replace the top anyway, and this is about how much it costs. But I'm thinking about us just buying a car cover. And she was like I like that idea.

Justin: 7:39

Yeah, it's a great idea.

Rhett: 7:41

Yeah, it's. It's at least a thousand dollars less than whatever you know car covers like 200 bucks.

Justin: 7:45

I mean you can get them for 120,.

Rhett: 7:46

But I wanted something that was like 100% waterproof, yeah, so now what I'm going to do is when that cover should come in in a couple of days, and I'm just going to, whenever I see rain in the forecast, go out there and cover it and not have to worry about it.

Justin: 8:00

And then you can get like the brand name Porsche on it and let people imagine Be, like we got friends Put a car cover over a bunch of boxes. He's like shh, don't mess with her, she's sleeping.

Rhett: 8:14

But no man, it's a fun little car. It's 2006. So of course the top needs to be replaced. It's never been replaced.

Justin: 8:22

It is a cool car, though it's a lot of fun We've taken our breaks before in between episodes and you'll take me on a drive around your neighborhood, which you've actually got. You showed me a site the other day.

Rhett: 8:33

What I did? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The mountains.

Justin: 8:36

I've never been to this particular peak that you, let me see, you're overlooking, let me see You're overlooking. It's just gorgeous. I mean, where we live in Birmingham, alabama, I mean it is Tree City, usa, and so this really gave the name to it, because it was awesome, yeah.

Rhett: 8:52

So there you go, yeah. Good ride, something that happened.

Justin: 8:55

If anybody cares. Hey, you've always had one of these cool little cars. You got you a little meal.

Rhett: 9:01

I tell people this, they're like oh man, look at you a little convertible.

Justin: 9:09

oh my god, it was like five thousand dollars and I know that's still a lot of money, but I'm like yeah, not the way they're saying it. Yeah, I'm like come on, I'm like guys I bought this.

Rhett: 9:13

It had a broken windshield. I had a broken. Here's the thing. I got such a great deal on it because the windshield was busted. I was like, oh yeah, well, I'll take care of that. The mirror was the rear view mirror was busted. I was like, oh, no big deal, it's like 20 bucks, whatever, 40, I think it's 40. The thing that I was like the biggest thing for me was the dash not the dashboard, but the, the instrument panel, like the light was coming on and off the uh, it's a digital display and like where you could read the mileage yeah there would be days you could see the mileage and days you couldn't see the mileage.

Rhett: 9:47

It was really weird and I was like, ah yeah, I can figure that out. So the guy that sold me the car was like I can't believe I found some idiot to buy this. You can't even see how many miles are on it. But I saw enough of it to know, okay, we're good, and I did the Carfax thing and all that. So we're good and I did the Carfax thing and all that, so we were good. But so I mean, I've, you know, I've fixed it up here and there and I knew I was like yeah, it's fun, it's my motor.

Rhett: 10:16

I can't get a motorcycle because I mean I could, but I'm a wise man because I'm listening to the wisdom of the Lord through my wife. That's right. A lot of wisdom, by the thing, and I enjoy it because you can have somebody sitting right next to you and go out together and you don't have to ride by yourself.

Justin: 10:28

You can still ride by yourself, but you can have somebody.

Rhett: 10:32

No one else, it's probably funny because I'm 6'1 and my head's over the windshield.

Justin: 10:36

You can't have a GITB, but you can have two up front. Yeah, you can Goob in the back, goob in the back.

Rhett: 10:42

You can't have a.

Justin: 10:43

JTB, we'd always talk about that. The third wheel.

Rhett: 10:46

But I'm always Someone had to be in the back seat. It's a very impractical car, but I'm 47, so it's my midlife. Whatever and you're able to do that, you pull it off. Well, I mean you pull up to small group in that thing. I'm Mr.

Justin: 11:00

Banks. Mr Bongs, it looks like Mr Bongs pulling up in his little car. And if you run out of gas, you just got to get out and carry it, yeah.

Rhett: 11:09

To the nearest gas station, Pull it up, put it in my pocket and walk off with it.

Justin: 11:12

When I got the car still that I'm driving today, my dad sells cars. Shout out to Bill Bradshaw Come on, bill, still selling cars. 86 years old man, give, years old, give, give the shine. Where's the ad? If somebody's in birmingham wants to buy a car, you are in the alabama area. You know 500 cities across the nation.

Rhett: 11:33

Make your way to birmingham, alabama. Buy a car from bill bradshaw at royal automotive. Royal automotive, that's a huge shout out to royal we ought to get there, you go. Well, I'm coming for you to be our sponsor yeah, now bill, if somebody comes and buys a car based off this, we want a little cut. So yeah, well, I'll probably get a little cut every now and again oh bill he helps get that.

Rhett: 11:49

Good, he does a generous man, oh, my dad's awesome and don't be surprised how many people won't travel out of state to go buy a car at another dealership, because I've done that. When I was living in idaho I found my car in salt lake city, that's right.

Justin: 12:02

Well, hey, my dad will tell you he's old school, but it's that honesty that you get from him. People will buy their car from him and you can get on the computer and read all the specs, Because he's like, I don't really get on the computer to show you all this stuff because I don't know how to get around online, but it's been really cool to watch him. I mean, he stays relevant just because of his. He's just real. He's real with you. You can trust him. Um, but he found this car for me one time. I was looking for something a little newer, but he called me and said hey, you need to check this out. This was probably five years ago, so 2020, uh, probably 2018, let's say, and there was a 2005 Suburban. The reason he called me over. He said I know this is older than what you're looking for, but it has. At that time, it only had 60,000 miles on it.

Rhett: 12:54

It blows my mind.

Justin: 12:56

And he was like you need to come, look at this, you can get a still. And even though it was older, it was like having a new car. Yeah, because the guy who owned it, literally he just used it to pull his boat.

Justin: 13:08

Yeah.

Justin: 13:08

And he wanted to buy his wife a brand new car and he needed to free up space. So there you go.

Rhett: 13:14

So I mean I'd go buy that, just almost sight unseen, you bought a brand new car that was just old through the years. Yeah, I mean, that's it.

Justin: 13:21

And here's one thing that didn't work. What reminded me of the story is when you were talking about, like the odometer yeah on mine the odometer actually would come in and come out yeah, that's what so I had to have a brand new one put in. Other than that, I went and put a really nice radio in it with apple play all the things, because it still had a cassette tape yeah it's awesome man like I love my car and I will drive it. It probably now has 140,000 miles.

Rhett: 13:47

Okay. I'm going to keep going just as long as I can. Well, you know, I had the same vehicle, mine was a 01. Yep and I got 356,000 miles out of mine. That's encouraging. My goal was to be. Don't get me wrong. I had a lot of oil changes and different little things I had to replace, but it was so much cheaper than having to go buy a new car.

Justin: 14:04

Well, I mean, as you guys know, I have four boys at this time of recording 15, 14, 10 and eight and we've had a tradition their whole life, as long as they can remember at least, that on Fridays, school time is always the school we go to gets out at like 1230. But now in this season of life, they don't even have it on Friday and we do homeschool co-op. We just have a really interesting way that we do school, our own little way that we do it. So on Fridays we've continued our tradition where I just pick them up and we go do lunch at the same place and then we come home.

Justin: 14:41

I mean, it's our little routine and I've always wanted a car that I can fit everybody in, and so my hope is to keep this Suburban. You know, dax will be 16 before you know it. Kai, who's 14, he'll be 16 before you know it. So I'm hoping I can at least do that. But at some point my next car probably won't be as big, but I enjoy an SUV, but it won't be as big, but I enjoy an SUV, but it probably it won't be a Miata coming up. I'll need to keep a few more seats in there but I don't.

Rhett: 15:10

I won't have to sit in seats, but you just never know.

Justin: 15:15

Do you see me having a Miata? No, I don't.

Rhett: 15:17

You're never. You're not a car guy.

Justin: 15:18

You just take care less. I'm really not. You've driven. Buicks and all kind of your life. Oh, you've driven Buicks and all kind of your life, oh, because my dad. Nothing against a Buick. My dad was predominantly a Buick car salesman.

Rhett: 15:26

Didn't you have a Toyota Camry at one time?

Justin: 15:28

Yeah, or was it a?

Rhett: 15:31

It was something like that.

Justin: 15:32

Yeah, god, that's a long time ago.

Justin: 15:33

That's opening up a memory, but it was Buick I mean I had the nickname Pawpaw at like 19 years old, yeah, bus stuff in there with our, with our Buicks, the classic we did, yeah, buick Regal. It was like sophistication but older, and I'm the kid who got them, but yeah.

Rhett: 15:50

Yeah, but you could still get to the same place as I could. It didn't matter. It didn't matter, but I do.

Justin: 15:54

At one point I'm going to get a car that I can really. I love my car now, but I'm going to get one that's maybe some leather interior.

Rhett: 16:03

Okay, so like a Jeep, I'm about to ask you. All right, what is the car?

Justin: 16:07

Like if you could go out right now and have the ideal what would it be? I would love, like a four-door Jeep Wrangler. Okay yeah, we'd love that. Or one of those other Jeeps there's another name I'm not thinking of, but it is. It's more like you as a jeep I love, because it's a convertible. It's the thought I know it's a hard top, soft top, uh, probably hard top. Okay, but it's just the thought of it.

Rhett: 16:29

I've always wanted a jeep, so is it the beach side that, hey, we'll take this to the beach and ride it around mountains and beach okay all like take I take.

Justin: 16:36

You know I take tons of drives. I mean rides would be a hobby of mine. Armchair, authentic and taking rides. I was a I, I was a Jeep guy until I actually drove one, I know. I know, that's what people tell me.

Rhett: 16:49

I was like I want a Jeep, I wanted a white, I wanted the Wrangler, I wanted the four doors, all that I get in one and I'm driving it and I'm like I'm not so much a Jeep guy anymore, and all my friends that have one. You know jeff roberts, getting to the shout he had. He had one at one time, I don't know if he still does. He was like worse a lot of fun but worst riding vehicle he's ever driven in his life.

Justin: 17:10

That's what I've heard. So uncomfortable, you know. I'd have to give one a try.

Rhett: 17:14

I mean, if I lived if I lived I mean for me, uh, you know, if I lived near the beach, that would be one of those that you could put everybody in almost and go out and have fun and, yeah, right up and down, put your leg out the side of it. You know probably shouldn't do that, but well, I like the discover, the discovery.

Justin: 17:30

What are they called? Um, it's like, it's like a jeep but it's land rover. Okay, yeah, I mean those are kind of cool. Um, I mean, for just normal, a car like my wife drives a toyota highlander and I think that's awesome I I love Highlander.

Justin: 17:44

They're really cool and you can fit six in them, but when we travel we just have to put the luggage thing on top so that we can fit all of our suitcases. And then we're going to do a um, a trip to the Grand Canyon really for summer to walk and we'll talk about that in another episode, but where she'll officially walk for her doctorate.

Rhett: 18:05

I'm glad you finished that up with your doctorate Cause some people who might've heard that the first time we're going to take her to the Grand. Canyon to walk. Yeah, okay, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, yeah, so she got her doctorate last September.

Justin: 18:17

October, but her walking ceremony well, actually the graduation ceremony happens coming up, and so anytime I rent a car, I try to rent an ideal car of what I think I might buy one day, and so this time I've rented, it's waiting for us there. I rented a Tahoe, had to be big enough to travel six of us because before she graduates we'll go check out Antelope Canyon.

Justin: 18:39

That's good, Grand Canyon, all these spaces, but the ideal if I want to keep an SUV, get maybe rid of the Suburban but maybe go to like a Tahoe.

Rhett: 18:48

Well, we downgraded from the Suburban to a Honda CRV. It's a great car.

Justin: 18:54

It gets like 31 miles to the gallon. I wouldn't mind that car either.

Rhett: 18:59

And so Linda, because we live, she's about 30 minutes from work, so I was like that, subur suburban was starting to like, okay, I miss the suburban, I miss it. I wanted to keep it, but it was just not. You know, it was not a financial responsible. I don't even know what word I'm looking for, but it wasn't the best decision to keep it Fiscally.

Justin: 19:20

Thank you it wasn't fiscally responsible.

Rhett: 19:22

Is that right? Yeah, it wasn't fiscally responsible. Is that right? Yeah? Yeah, it just didn't make sense. I wanted it, probably more for the memory of it than I did actually for the necessity of it.

Justin: 19:31

Well, I took mine the other day. I'll go to the Botanical Gardens. As I've said before, You'll get this. Our songwriters, our musicians out there will get this. I was inspired on something that I had been reading earlier, literally in the Psalms. I'm listening to an audio book at this time. That moment of inspiration just hit me and I happened to be driving by where the Botanical Gardens and I pulled in a park. I don't want to make like a whole deal of it, so I don't want to bring my guitar in the park and so. But I just raise up the suburban, you know just the back, and I'm just sitting in it.

Justin: 20:07

And there I am sitting in my suburban and I have a guitar that travels with me everywhere, so it's like a Taylor GS mini. By the way, if you're ever looking for a good travel, a songwriting guitar, that might not be your stage guitar. Like a GS mini, it's a really good quality guitar, probably um seven, eight, nine hundred, maybe a thousand dollars. Okay, for me it's a little smaller great songwriting guitar and I keep it basically in my car year round. So if I stop at a place my suburban setup where I can just jump out, change seats and I have my notebook and I can write, that's what I'll miss yeah about the suburban and that in my mind that's what I think I could still get with my jeep.

Justin: 20:50

Maybe another suv. You just throw up in that hatchback and you create your own little beach, so I'll create your mountain moment.

Rhett: 20:58

I went to play top golf the other day and and so you can. Yeah, I can fit the golf clubs when greg yeah, oh, you did friday oh man cool, and so it was. It was fun. It was unexpected, but it was a lot more fun.

Justin: 21:10

Is that your?

Rhett: 21:11

first top golf outing. No, that was my second.

Rhett: 21:13

Okay, but the reason I mention that is because I can fit the golf clubs in the back of the Miata, but I have to take the driver out and have to, kind of well the side, you open this little miniature trunk and that is small, and then on the side, where you would like, uh, the plastic is, you can like turn a little key part, pull that plastic off and then it gives you another like six inches, but that's where the like, the uh, the jack is. The yeah, six inch ribbon curls six inches so it gives you another right, but that's where the jack lives and everything I. So I have to take that plastic piece off to put the clubs in and then to fit it. But I was like man, forget this man, I just put it in the passenger side and so I'm riding down the interstate going to Topgolf with my golf club sitting right beside me in the passenger seat your little buddy's sitting by you.

Justin: 22:03

Yeah, I was like I don't care. His name's Ping, hey, Ping. I could go so many places with that right now. Okay, we just keep going, man.

Rhett: 22:19

So I've already so ping was right with me in the in the passenger side. Ping in the passenger side, I love this. So you're talking about fitting a guitar, like dude, you could. You could totally put your guitar right there in the passenger seat but I know you're saying it will work.

Justin: 22:30

It would work is what I'm saying. You would have to literally sit on top of your car to write.

Rhett: 22:35

Oh, no, yeah, no, you could go back and yeah, you could sit on the trunk. You could just basically lean back, might look kind of cool you don't even have to jump up.

Justin: 22:44

Like most cars, you're going to have to jump up on, like one of them, old elvis movies.

Justin: 22:47

It's a stool is what it is get your stuff.

Justin: 22:52

Yeah, it serves as a car, as a stool I love that car man.

Rhett: 22:57

I mean, if you get tired, sit on the roof enjoy the weather, I mean the thing will hug the road. It's like my little go-kart it's my go-kart, that's.

Justin: 23:04

That's a good. That's a good example. That's a good way to explain it.

Rhett: 23:07

Yeah, I don't like driving it on the interstate because people really can't see you that well, I don't like. But man, back on these back roads in Alabama, let's go.

Justin: 23:15

Yeah, I feel safe when I was driving with you, did you?

Rhett: 23:19

Oh yeah, because we were just yeah.

Justin: 23:21

The only thing in the back of my mind. I was always singing the big city downtown Big, big, big, big big city downtown.

Rhett: 23:31

When I watched that show the other day. I was on the airplane.

Justin: 23:36

The movie yeah.

Rhett: 23:37

I was on the airplane I was like you know my iPad. I didn't download some shows that I wanted to before I left. I was like I'll just watch the movie on the plane and out of all the movies, it was Ferris Bueller. I was like okay, and I watched it Iconic He'll keep callingueller, I was like okay, and I watched it, iconic. He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me. Oh man, that's it.

Justin: 23:59

Okay, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go.

Rhett: 24:05

And then it shows him getting out of the car like jumping up and down in the back. Pitching a pit, then he gets back in the car. Oh man Keep calling me.

Justin: 24:15

When Cameron was in Egypt land let my Cameron go. Oh man, I mean that's a good movie. The Bueller dude, the Bueller dude. I don't know if anybody's called him that, but that's a good movie. The Bueller Dude, the Bueller Dude.

Rhett: 24:33

I don't know if anybody's called him that, but that's a great name.

Justin: 24:36

Oh, the Bueller Dude, I'm with you now.

Rhett: 24:39

I thought you were calling Ferris. No, no, no, you literally meant the teacher. He just keeps calling the name. It shows those scenes where all the teenagers have their one guy's like got his head on the desk and it's nothing but slobber.

Justin: 24:52

Oh that always grossed me. I never watched any part that shows any kind of like slobber or from the nose. It will ruin a movie for me, oh totally. It's almost what's the only part that messes up the movie bedtime stories for me.

Rhett: 25:06

You've seen that movie a lot more than me, because with Adam Sandler.

Justin: 25:11

Oh me, ah, you've seen that movie a lot more because all adam sandler. Oh yeah, that's a great part, but there's one part where they go to this planet, and it's like boogeropia.

Rhett: 25:16

Oh lord, everything is mucus and I'm like I know it's like that one scene in uh, stand by me, is it? Oh yeah, they, they have that. They're eating the hot dog or pie eating contest I have to like forward that, oh gosh that was disgusting. I can't do it.

Justin: 25:35

Sorry, okay, moving on we're 25 minutes in Me and some of my boys are pretty weak stomach when it comes to stuff like that that's okay. I can see a lot of stuff, I can watch blood, guts, I can do tons of things. But if it has to do with like slobber or stuff out of your nose, it pained me to say the B word a while ago about the name of that planet, the planet, yeah, the B word Boogeropia, oh, boogeropolis, whatever it is, I hate that word, I don't even remember. I hate that word.

Justin: 26:02

I just.

Rhett: 26:03

I hate it yeah.

Justin: 26:11

I can't stop thinking about it.

Rhett: 26:12

It's like whatever you do, don't think about purple elephants, whatever, just don't think about purple elephants and all you can think about is purple elephants. Don't look at purple elephants. We've talked some iconic movies here.

Justin: 26:21

Another one for you.

Justin: 26:31

I don't know if you've seen this lately, but it is maybe because of my age, but it has been feeling just completely filling up like the the whole thread like on socials, okay, uh, where you scroll through. Okay, teenage mutant ninja turtles 1990 35 years since that movie came out love, it wasn't that awesome. Yeah, I still remember being in my. I remember being in my before that, I remember being in my apartment. Your dad drove you. Obviously, you could have walked to my house. You could have thrown a rock at your apartment. You come upstairs, knock on the door. You're like you're not going to believe this.

Rhett: 26:59

You remember that's Festival 18.

Justin: 27:00

You're like I saw the movie poster at Festival 18. I'm like no. No, I was like what is it? You're like no, I was like what is it.

Rhett: 27:08

You're like teenage mutant ninja turtles. Yeah, we love it. Yeah, we love the ninja turtles.

Justin: 27:12

We were huge and we could not believe it. And I didn't believe. It was like we got to go see it and your dad drove us all the way back over yeah to the festival 18 movie theater crestview yes, just 25 minutes, just to see the poster because, you know, we're so spoiled these days, you could just pull up a movie poster on your phone or find even previews, everything.

Rhett: 27:36

We went all the way there just, and you remember we stared at that I mean probably 15, 20 minutes we could, we would have had a camera, we would have taken a picture of it, and we would, and the crazy thing is, we would then go back it was the coolest thing it became more of a little for that two or three week period until commercials started coming out.

Justin: 27:52

We'd be like you want to go see that ninja turtle poster, I mean think about that, just their little heads poking out of the manhole people who are thinking about you know, maybe they've never known anything different and all they know is the phone generation.

Rhett: 28:04

You know, listening this, you're like, oh, they're old, but I mean literally like their newspaper. That was it in, was it? And television.

Justin: 28:12

Yeah.

Rhett: 28:12

And there was no DVR, there was no way of recording things and going back and watching.

Justin: 28:16

You had to be in the moment, live. It was a sense of wonder. Yeah, it was so much wonder.

Rhett: 28:20

So, like whenever there was that moment of I see something, you actually had to go way out of your way to get to the point to where you saw that again. Yeah, and I, I, I mean, there was something special about that it taught you some appreciation too, because it was like oh my gosh I just appreciate this yeah, delayed gratification maybe yeah it was.

Justin: 28:37

That's a great, that's a good word for it you know, because you're not, it's not instant, it's not microwave. You had to wait a little bit. Well, yeah and I mean that's and that's the thing, by the way, that's have you ever seen the psychologically they'll do these uh experiments like with kids, like have you seen it where it's a plate full of oreos?

Rhett: 28:57

put kids in a room, or at least one kid in front of a sleeve of oreos, yep, or you can have ten thousand dollars they don't understand the concept, they take that, or you do the one that's a little more fair to the kid right you do the one a little more fair to the kid and you'll put it there.

Justin: 29:14

And then they'll leave the room and say, hey, don't eat this. And the video, the experiment, is to show these kids, and what some will do is some will stare and they're literally pulling their hair out because—.

Rhett: 29:26

The cookie's right there in front of them.

Justin: 29:27

They see it the whole time they they were told not to they know they're not supposed to and they don't, but they are. Oh my gosh, they're delaying this gratification. Others are kind of kind of picking at it, eating little bites until others just take a bite and they just it's gone but then there's the one smart kid.

Rhett: 29:46

Hey guys, red here just want to take a moment and say thank you to every single one of you who have taken the time to follow us on social media. Now, if today is your first time to join us for an episode, man, we want to say welcome, friends, it's so good to have you with us. Could you take a moment? Look us up on instagram or facebook. You can find us there at armchair authentic, or you can go on over to x find us there as well, at armchair off pod. That's armchair off a u-t-h p-o-d. All right, now back to the conversation. But then there's the one smart kid that's like the less than one percent that takes the cookie in the plate and puts it on underneath the table so they don't see it, that was yes, so they remove the temptation.

Rhett: 30:31

They remove it and they don't know why. They just like I don't want to look at it. Yeah right, yeah, if I'm remembering, they're about the only ones that make it through the whole thing.

Justin: 30:38

The study will show, as they've gone on to see, that the kids who actually showed the self-control not to gratify, gratify their self immediately, like it went on to show the discipline that they had in their life and there was actually like a link towards more success as far as like completing high school, completing college, actually stepping into a, you know as we would call in the American way, you know, a good, solid job because of the delayed gratification. So there is something it would be so much harder for me to have grown up in this generation.

Rhett: 31:13

Oh, golly, I'm grateful. I mean, I know we're still in this generation but we're not necessarily a young adult or a teenager.

Justin: 31:21

We still can get instantly gratified finding something anytime we want to. You know it can happen, so nothing changes. Parents are staring at their phone the entire time. I mean how many?

Rhett: 31:30

conversations can you have now. Like you know, let me Google that, let me Google that, let me Google that, let me Google that. You know it's like carrying around an encyclopedia Britannica with you all the time, yeah.

Justin: 31:38

You know anything and everything, at any moment it's the knowledge of the tree of good and evil, and there's a lot of good.

Rhett: 31:43

The same time, I you know, and that's my whole thing with AI right now, it's like I'm loving it and I'm, and I'm, I'm challenging every leader and pastor, like, if you're not using chat GPT to be your administrative assistant and help you with, like grammar and and how to think through some stuff, I mean, golly, it's, it's, it's, it's incredible. But yet there is obviously a shadow side to that too. It's like well, now your creativity is tanking. Maybe or maybe I'm freeing up more mental energy to be more creative.

Justin: 32:16

I don't know, there's got to be a balance. If you do free up the space, good, but now still go create in another space. It's if you stop creating, then maybe that's where you lose it. But I think you're right, maybe it frees up another space to now go for it.

Rhett: 32:33

I have not asked it to write me a song, though I've not done that yet and I'm very tempted to go hey. I'm messing with this opportunity and I'm thinking about these storylines and here's kind of the theme that I want it to be and I need a word that rhymes with I mean, how many do when I?

Justin: 32:53

chat GPT was first coming out. My 15 year old now was like he was one of the first jumping on it. Yeah, and a buddy of mine was starting a coffee company and I remember we're sitting by the fire pit one night like how cool would it be to create a theme song for him, and I don't realize. But he's asking me questions.

Justin: 33:11

Same thing he did for our song Armchair Authentic that we have somewhere and he said let me ask some questions. Well, actually, let me go back to our story and we'll make this applicable. He asked me personal questions about me and you, Rhett. He was asking about the podcast. Why are we doing what we're doing, All this stuff?

Justin: 33:40

the podcast. Why are we doing what we're doing All this stuff? And he disappeared for about 30 minutes or an hour and he came back. Matter A filter involved. No need to scatter From love and relationships to politics and fame. Armchair. Authentic is the podcast game. Justin got the wit, ray got the charm Together. They bring the fire, causing no harm. They ain't afraid to ask the difficult questions, challenge the norms, provoke introspections.

Justin: 34:11

And there it is, I mean in one hour he had that thing ready to roll.

Rhett: 34:16

Did he do that on ChatGPT? It was Because I don't think it does.

Justin: 34:19

It wasn't ChatGPT. I know that. I kind of shifted our story because I knew I was like, ooh, we have a sample of this that we can play, so I changed it, so that was more of another app, but it was still AI. But no, he did that for chat GBT to write a song for a coffee company, okay. And and he asked me questions about it and I told him the name of it, the theme of it.

Justin: 34:42

It was like a fifties kind of diner, let's go, man, we're sitting making s'mores and in like 10 minutes he was like how do you like this? And he read the lyrics. And I'm not trying to sound like the old timer here, but as a songwriter who's put easily 10,000 hours on writing songs, I was almost like it's amazing and almost like, well, dadgum, I used to have an edge and the edge is gone. I mean, that was kind of the mindset Cause.

Rhett: 35:14

Now anybody has access, anybody couldn't just do that.

Justin: 35:18

You couldn't like so many times we do the events in the past and it's like, hey, can we write a fun song with this? And it's like, oh, I got that, like I thrived at that. I mean, you tell me to build a house. I'm like, go ask so-and-so, I'll write you some lyrics. And I was happy for him to know how to track it down, because that is where we're going. But as the artist, I looked at it and just had that first moment of oh man.

Rhett: 35:44

I still don't think, like when it comes to melodies and stuff, like I don't use AI for this, so maybe I'm wrong, but I just think there's still something very beautiful as far as the creative ability that just comes from the. You know who we are yeah, and being you know, like I don't think it's ever going to replace it, but I think the tool for me is when you ever get writer's block, it's like oh, let me just expound my mind you know, I mean truth be told being authentic.

Rhett: 36:11

You know a lot of our podcast episode titles, like we're thinking through the lens of hey, maybe this is it, but then we filter it through these tools based off of. You know the description and things we've talked about and I would say probably. I don't know 75 of the titles or ai help you know, now we're guiding that ai to give it what we want. But then sometimes it gives us ideas we didn't think about. We're like oh well, that's a.

Justin: 36:35

We could never do this without AI on the level that we're doing it, because literally all I'm doing is plugging in the final edit what people don't realize Into what we use. Like we use a program that is actually. It takes everything that we uploaded and it creates our narrative.

Rhett: 36:56

It creates a story, it takes the transcript and it regurgitates that into a description of the things we talked about. Because, bro, if we had to sit down and go, oh man now here's what people don't know, and here's the big drop for this episode is that these conversations have been 100% AI generated, like I am the AI Rhett right now. The person you're hearing is not really Rhett. He's at the beach somewhere. This is the announcement he asked me to step in alongside Justin's.

Justin: 37:26

AI. We're letting you guys know Welcome. I hope Justin and Rhett are having a good time at their trip.

Rhett: 37:32

I mean down to the laugh and everything.

Justin: 37:34

So there you go, welcome, and there are some people listening right now.

Rhett: 37:39

Some people listening. Are you kidding me right now? Is this really happening? And the answer is yeah, maybe.

Justin: 37:45

You know what's funny? We've actually had some comments before this is a joke.

Rhett: 37:50

It is a joke, please be aware, or is it?

Justin: 37:52

Or is this the?

Rhett: 37:52

matrix. Are we unplugged? I'm like what's happening?

Justin: 37:55

I don't know if you ever saw one of the comments that we had.

Rhett: 37:57

Oh yeah, I saw it.

Justin: 37:58

Where someone actually thought that our podcast is just too AI-generated.

Rhett: 38:02

People talking. This seems AI-generated. I didn't respond to it. I'm like dang, thanks for the compliment.

Justin: 38:09

I mean if you're just keeping this up every week like this can't be real. Yeah, this is I mean. This is a lot to be. It's like. No, this is actually. Yeah, this is us.

Rhett: 38:18

Or is it, or is it. I know deep thoughts with a generated red and Justin. Yeah, OK so no being real friends just want to take a moment and say, if you are enjoying today's conversation, could you do us a huge favor. Would you take a moment and copy the link from your favorite podcast platform and share it with a friend? Email it to a friend. How about airdropping it over to your buddy or your sister right now? Man, that would mean so much to us. Thank you.

Justin: 38:51

All right guys, back to the conversation. Been another story for you, Do you remember? I know?

Rhett: 38:56

you remember, but I want to share it with our audience. I don't know, don't ever assume that I remember anything, you'll remember this one. I'm having trouble remembering a question I asked my son last night. He's like Dad, you just asked me that 30 seconds ago. I'm like Did.

Justin: 39:07

I. That's a real thing, okay, but I can take far memories, certain memories that have been so far in the past. I seem to can recall those things. Here's one of them you and I. I'll say these two words. First Sounds like a song Bills, you and I, bills and Raptors Okay, backyard, yeah.

Rhett: 39:26

Twin Gates East Football league. Yep, I know where you're going with this.

Justin: 39:30

You know where I'm going with this.

Rhett: 39:31

Yeah, the Bills won that.

Justin: 39:32

Well, actually the Raptors won.

Rhett: 39:34

No, I threw the touchdown and Darius was right there on the corner. He had one foot in.

Justin: 39:39

But I heard the beep go off.

Rhett: 39:41

There was a beep before you said hike.

Justin: 39:42

Oh no, it was actually on camera.

Rhett: 39:45

Jason Hall rest in peace no, that ball came out of my hand if you listen to it, you'll hear this and you're like hike.

Justin: 39:52

Do we still have the video? I don't know okay.

Rhett: 39:56

So this is like did we really go to the moon and land on the moon, or was this whole thing manufactured, like at the end of the day?

Justin: 40:04

do you have a video? I don't have proof on that, but okay, but I will tell you we won that game. It's the bills we let y'all score, because the timer went off.

Rhett: 40:11

No, we were 16, 17. It was 15 and 16. I was 16. So we just started serving the Lord oh yeah. And we were working through our issues of anger management.

Justin: 40:21

Yeah, and we worked it out on the football field. That's right, this is backyard football. A lot of the apartment it was an apartment complex like a little green strip in the back a lot, of, a lot, of, a lot of teenagers are playing with us, so we get these four on four, five on five games all the time it was.

Justin: 40:38

That was normal for us and this was a big game between the two teams that we had created right, because we got jason hall to come out and record this thing that's right, and bills and raptors were in the super twin gates, backyard football super bowl if you know anything about us and have listened to this, maybe from the beginning you'll realize we have very imaginative imaginations.

Rhett: 40:54

That's what imaginations are right, but we have the ability to put ourselves in these worlds that we create. And the apartment complex has disappeared and you might as well have an Oculus glass over your eyes. And you're looking around. You're seeing hundreds of thousands of people and there's cameramen and referees on the field.

Justin: 41:13

Is that not what was happening In my mind? That's exactly what was going on. I know our players were just standing around watching me and you argue with each other. They were like it's okay, the game's over, it doesn't matter, but I did throw the winning touchdown pass to Darius.

Rhett: 41:25

Darius listens to this podcast.

Justin: 41:29

Anyway. So you're bringing this up and we're up in each other's face. Why?

Justin: 41:32

are you?

Rhett: 41:32

bringing this back up, these emotions, justin, I remember us being in each other's face.

Justin: 41:37

It wasn't in. It wasn't in.

Rhett: 41:40

I probably had a few choice words.

Justin: 41:43

It was over. Here's this.

Rhett: 41:45

Christian kid trying to work through his issues of cussing and I think I had some cussing going on.

Justin: 41:49

I mean, we were doing everything but fighting physically. We were in each other's face. Well, we couldn't, because we were now.

Rhett: 41:54

We were trying to influence these kids we're playing football with to go to church and to give their lives to Jesus.

Justin: 42:00

And here we are losing it, man, I mean, and the TV cameras were on us. And I didn't want to look bad in front of the world that was watching. Yeah, that's how my mind saw it. There's a big. This is a performance. This is before instant replay. This is big time, yeah, and so we, we. But we laid it all on the field.

Rhett: 42:22

Well, we did, we got so upset with each other, we agreed strongly to disagree. Until this day we still disagree. We had a podcast about it so we can talk through it now, but I remember we left and it was like our teams kind of went with each other.

Justin: 42:34

But you went in your house, I went in my apartment and do you remember what happened? You wrote a letter.

Rhett: 42:40

I think I did, and either you brought it to me personally, I don't remember, but yeah, and you still have the letter, I think.

Justin: 42:48

Or you do, do I? Maybe I did, I don't know. It's probably somewhere in your bag. I don't think I.

Rhett: 42:54

Maybe I do, maybe it's, maybe it is in the garage somewhere, and so, who knows, I ended up?

Justin: 42:59

I ended up writing a letter resigning.

Rhett: 43:03

From this made up league.

Justin: 43:04

From the Backyard Twin Gates Football. League and you happen to probably put it at the end, by the way, we won. I knocked on the door and ret answered.

Rhett: 43:20

I said here, but I didn't want you to read it in front of me. Yeah, and I walked off. Yeah, I'm like what?

Justin: 43:22

and then we, and then we came back together.

Rhett: 43:24

Yeah, like later, 10 minutes later yeah, true story because. But the letter had something to do with. I feel like this is pulling me away from my relationship with God and it's not allowing me to be the purest example of Christ. And and so it was the whole. You know, we, you know I'm not trying to say it wasn't what needed to happen in the process and the journey that is, but looking through the lens now it's kind of like it was a little dramatic.

Justin: 43:50

It was totally dramatic. But if you think about what even happened, I will tell all these stories on the podcast and it's so fun. But there are certain stories I will go back to and I didn't have it then. It was probably I don't know how many years later it was probably I don't know how many years later I would have defended that till the end that that was the right that I was making, the most godly gesture I knew to make in my life, because I did not want to go back.

Rhett: 44:18

What we were in before. That was your best at that point. Yeah, that was yeah.

Justin: 44:22

Because what had happened in that moment? It was the first time I got angry since surrendering my life to Christ. Since surrendering my life to Christ, it was the first time I got in like a fight, me and you just completely going off on each other, and it's like I didn't know how to handle that. Well, neither did I. I just thought that I cannot let you know the words that we would use in church world. I will not lose this anointing in my life, and I just knew I cannot. I'm not going to have this in my life.

Justin: 44:52

Well, it was the anointing in the relationship and I was going to shift away immediately to avoid what was right there and obviously you know you get to look at it many years later. That was obviously an avoidance going on, that you know. I had an opportunity right there, you know, and obviously it's a kid, so I'm not trying to remedy the kid the 15 year old.

Justin: 45:18

But I've looked back on that story as I've gone through my journey with Christ, as I was starting to face certain things, realizing that was just a kind of this microcosm of other things that happened to, where I would avoid certain things almost, and and being able to justify why I wouldn't go be a part of it, and my conscience, my conscious, felt clean and clear about it. But it doesn't always mean it's the right thing. It means that we have a protection. There was somewhere along the lines I had built up that and I was not going to let that get messed up again. And when I felt a moment which we obviously would know now if we're coaching people, that's a moment to actually step in. It's an invitation to challenge and confront. I wasn't ready, my mind didn't see it as that. It looked like the enemy and I stepped away. I disengaged from an opportunity that could have actually been a good growing moment.

Rhett: 46:16

So am I hearing you say it was your way of controlling a weight, of trying to control comfort in your life, so you didn't have to confront an issue that now, looking at it, the healthiest thing to do would have been to confront it, to talk through it yeah, and to work it out, rather than to try to create your own scenario?

Justin: 46:35

But what I saw then wasn't like running away from. It's not comfortable. I looked at it like this is not God. God would be over here where it's comfortable to me.

Rhett: 46:46

Knowing that God is also in the discomfort.

Justin: 46:50

But I wouldn't have looked at it. I didn't look at it like that. I looked at it in the sense that God is with me by disengaging from this. And so I made that holy gesture, if you will, as a reaction to what we had just gone through. Reaction, yeah, to to what we had just gone through, when it was actually really. In fact, you know, as I began to notice in my life, I started doing the, the same thing.

Justin: 47:13

I remember my aunt debbie said this if you're listening, aunt debbie, I love you. You've made such an impact that you'll never, never know in my life. She was, uh, the really the evangelist of the family. Like you know, she married a pastor who was also an evangelist, but they were from Bogota, colombia, my mom's sister. She'd come back into town. We loved it because she was always the sweetest. I mean, you know, aunt Debbie, but I remember we would have talks when I was surrendered you know my new life in Christ and she saw when that change happened and she was a I mean just spirit-filled believer. She was so happy to see this change that she started noticing things that I did with the family.

Justin: 47:54

The family would have certain events and I never wanted to go because I had this new life. I was like me and Rhett I had our church. I was at the church every time the door was opened, anytime there was a family event and we had a church event. I'd be like, hey, I can't make it to that. I got a church thing Because in my mind that was the protection place, that was the place of safety, that was the place where I felt like Justin and I felt like somebody. I felt like a guy who God is moving through.

Justin: 48:27

Family represented what it was, other than my dad. We've already talked about old Bill Bradshaw. He was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me, loved my dad so much. He did an amazing job as my dad and my mom. He kind of did both. But that other side of the family, it always, as a kid, represented danger, a little uncertainty, what I had gone through with my mom. It just felt I just the flags would go up. I didn't know how to describe it in such a way, but I would stay away from it.

Justin: 48:59

And so I remember my aunt Debbie talking to me one time cause I would go over there when she's in town and the family would be like, why does he only come when she's around? Cause she was like what. I felt like a light and she challenged me one time and she said, justin, it challenged me, but she wasn't like pointing her finger at me. She said, you know, oh, I understand why you always want to go be at the church. And in my mind I'm thinking, well, yeah, I want to be there because that's the right thing to do, aunt Debbie.

Justin: 49:27

And she says you had such a tough time growing up. She said, you know, with your mom, I know it was a hellish situation that you grew up in and this is a place of safety. And I see God moving in your life and in my mind I'm thinking, no, this is where God's moving in my life, this is the right place. But she was calling it exactly what it was and I didn't have the eyes to see it then, but I still. It was aunt Debbie. So I listened to her and she brought that to light that they don't understand you over here and you're understood over there. You feel protected over there and this reminds you of what you've come up under, which has been a very shaky ground atmosphere. You just don't know what to expect and the young boy in you gets scared when you're over here.

Justin: 50:16

I mean, she was nailing it, but I didn't know she was nailing it and I think I tried to receive it, but at that time I was Justin the guy who's retired from the football league in our backyard because I'm holy and I'm not going to get involved with this.

Justin: 50:31

So I was a little more holier than thou, but those situations kept happening where I would just avoid and God uses things where I was protected in a good way from some things. So it's not throwing out the baby with the bathwater, but there were some things to learn. There was a lack of mentorship, even at my church. That was the place we went and people loved us being there, but I didn't have that person other than my Aunt Debbie, actually telling me like hey, Justin, this is going to feel safe right now, but the best way that you're actually going to grow is to confront these things. So if anything, I was in an atmosphere that would celebrate. The best way that you're actually going to grow is to confront these things. Yeah, so if anything, I was in an atmosphere that would like celebrate. You're here every time the church doors are open.

Justin: 51:13

I was about to say that.

Rhett: 51:15

Like we were in this moment. We were celebrated, but we were also like, if you're not here, then where were you? It's true, and that's accountability, but there can also be an unhealthy side to that. Yes, I was with family. Well, you should have been here with your family.

Justin: 51:31

It's true.

Rhett: 51:32

You know you're kind of torn between the two and and, and or you know why your family's not here because they're they're better back and slitting.

Justin: 51:38

Yeah, Wow yeah.

Rhett: 51:44

I don't want to interrupt, to go with, but this is great. You know, I'm sitting here thinking through the lens of now being a parent with my son, and there are moments where I'm thinking, you know, is it wrong for us to not be out of service? You know, because I'm thinking why are we going to be there, you know, and so, like I think there's a balance.

Rhett: 52:07

You know, you definitely don't want to not you don't want to disconnect for just disconnecting, because then ultimately that can lead to things. But I think it's okay if, if you had a really really long day and you miss a, you know, a youth function, it's okay.

Justin: 52:25

Right.

Rhett: 52:25

You know, like he, I would rather him be able to understand when his body needs rest and while there can be rest and fulfillment that comes from after a long day at school, going into youth, but like he's there 95% of the time, it's okay. If 5% of the year he's not there, and I know some people will argue that and go no by God, they need to be and I get it. You know, I see both sides of it, but that's where I struggle today, based off of how we were kind of raised in those moments, Because it was just like, oh well, if you're not there then you're missing it and you're missing the moment. But there's something to be said about being at home with your family sometimes too.

Justin: 53:05

And sitting in those moments, and I think that's what your son has, that's what Max has in you and Linda. He has a place to come home to, exactly, and he knows he's loved, he's championed.

Rhett: 53:18

There's a comfort there of just resting with mom and dad.

Justin: 53:20

I knew I was loved but that's the two.

Justin: 53:22

You said the key words mom and dad. Yeah, yeah, I had dad and mom in one Me too, no-transcript. If I would go out with with you, rhett, he might be like now. You be careful, jody. Well, you be careful.

Rhett: 54:01

And my dad did the same thing. I mean, like my, I love my dad, my dad's wonderful. We're hanging out today, we're going to a tennis game together, watch my son play, love him. We play cards and stuff, and these are. These are things. But he had to be both as well, and I can only imagine how exhausting that had to been for your dad and my dad and for those who are walking through that right now as a single parent my heart goes out to you.

Rhett: 54:22

You're doing, keep going, keep going, encouraging, and but that's where I think our relationship, seeing moms and dads and all this together and it was a very comfortable, safe place for us to where so much so it became a medic medication for us, if you will it's a great word yeah To where we didn't want to walk back into hanging out with our dad or hanging out with you know certain scenarios of family situations because it was like, well, it's not a safe place, or maybe that was, but it wasn't as safe as you know we were growing into. I don't know. I'm trying even as.

Rhett: 55:17

I talk it out loud right now I'm still processing, kind of this moment. I'm going on this journey with you.

Justin: 55:23

Yeah Well, I didn't, I didn't know to.

Rhett: 55:24

So it's not like our families were unsafe, but like compared to how we were medicating. I think is the word I'm looking for through the church. Yeah, and rightfully so. A lot of healthy things happening there. We should have also had the balance to go okay. Now you need to learn how to have this same presence, no matter where you are and how to walk that out.

Justin: 55:46

You can still go be surrendered and go to your family side that you're not as comfortable with, yes, and still go be the light there and that's okay, and you can still do that playing football, and you can still have a disagreement playing football in the backyard and the healthiest things.

Justin: 56:01

Because what I missed in those times and I didn't know, but the reason I say this now is people are facing this on the daily and what you're missing out on, what I missed out on then, when I didn't engage in those moments, is I didn't have a chance to truly you know, we've talked about it, you know last week but lamenting, I didn't have a chance to lament or get frustrated or show emotion, because I looked at it as a sign of weakness and not godliness and which means I was missing God there the whole time, because he waits in moments like that and I was missing, secondarily, a connection with my best friend where we could have actually had some resolution, learning how to have conflict and actually get better.

Rhett: 56:49

Well, yancey said this on one of our conversations, if you remember. She said she learned how to have peace in the midst of tension. Yes, I mean, that's it. And for us it was like we can only speak for our story, for where it was. I didn't know how to have peace in the tension. So therefore, I ran from tension and became the peace quote maker, and my ability to try to create peace in every environment was to run from conflict.

Rhett: 57:14

And that's the worst thing you could ever do, and I'm like that's all I ever knew how to do is like well, and that's why I always like be kind, be nice, be friendly. Hey, all right, we're not going to talk about that. Let's change the subject. Let's keep moving, but the goal is like no, no, no, let's have this out, let's have the conversation and learn how to grow through this tension to get the better result on the other end that's so well said.

Justin: 57:37

Like that, I mean talk about covering a multitude of sin. I could have covered a multitude of wasted time or frustration, even in ministry, growing up many years later that stuff I would back off like, well, if you're going to come in that high, I guess I'm going to act like you're right and I would back off and feeling like I'm the right one by backing off. But I'm the one who avoided the chance to say but I don't agree with that, here's how I see it. And then we finally learn how to go back and forth and you end the and you end up iron sharpening iron.

Justin: 58:13

You become a little more patient, I become a little more, in the right way, aggressive to not be so passive in certain moments and peace and attention for me, like there is a vulnerability there to go.

Rhett: 58:20

I might be the only one being able to walk in this peace and attention. There might not be the reciprocal end of it and that's okay, like you don't have to. There doesn't have to be a resolve for there to be peace. Yes, and I, you know, I actually had a comment when I was at top golf.

Rhett: 58:39

Um, it was interesting where there, um, there was a couple of people who you know we would call not unbelievers, but people who really maybe have been hurt by the church or kind of have a misunderstanding of who God is and his character and his nature, and near the end it was me and two other guys or three, and one of the guys there he happens to be my neighbor in this neighborhood. It was crazy and he said, you know, I don't. And he was being very honest and he said I don't really understand how God, if he's all knowing and all good and all that, could allow such evil in the world. And I was able to sit there and have a conversation with him but have peace in the tension and not have a resolve, but be able to love him, share some truth from some misunderstandings that he's had in his you know picture of things. He's been told about God and these other things, and I really had a chance to walk him through the true gospel now and I but it was in a respectful way, but it was in a passionate way, and at the end of it he said he's still not ready to go there.

Rhett: 59:41

I said, no worry, like the fact that you're asking these questions, and I said whether or not we ever have this conversation again, we live on the same street, right, you know? I just want you to know I love you, I'm for you, and I was able to have peace and attention without there being a resolve on his end to come over to my side. Yeah, right, and so, and I just I don't know, man, there's something, there's something to be said about that Cause, I don't know, in times past I might not have engaged with that conversation, or if I had engaged, I would not have felt satisfied until there was that. Yeah, oh, bro, like you've got to agree with what I'm saying.

Justin: 1:00:17

We got to fix this.

Rhett: 1:00:18

We got to fix it. But I was really trying to come from a point of understanding why he feels this way and I was like, oh, okay, way. And I was like oh, okay.

Justin: 1:00:27

Yeah, I would feel the same way too If I had that understanding of God you're taking on the farmer mindset like this, seed is going to take a while, but the harvest is coming Exactly and all I will and I just had an opportunity to plant a seed and just try to go.

Rhett: 1:00:37

Hey, I just need to correct some misunderstanding here, like that's, that's not who God is and this is why, based off this truth, um and it was a great conversation but there was tension Absolutely and but it I've been told afterwards after he left and it was great, we hugged it out. I even prayed for him and stuff Um one of my buddies there it was Greg I said, man, I'm sorry if that went now he's like dude. No, it was great, I'm like.

Rhett: 1:01:00

What an opportunity we have to talk to people and I was like man, I'm very passionate about it. You know he's like oh, I can tell you know I'm like, yeah, well, I am but it's it's that piece in the midst of tension and I'm okay to have some tension and I think that's that's a missing ingredient that I missed out on as a kid. I can't speak for the church in whole, but that's the ingredient I missed out on in being empowered to be able to walk that out in a way.

Justin: 1:01:22

And that's who we're talking to, those who have ears to hear this. This is for you today, If you've been going through this, because I believe, as we're on the tail end of this episode, there's four just from researching four psychological factors that if you're listening to this and you can recognize this, it's going to help you address these similar feelings and you're going to notice that this is actually coming up. So I'm going to throw these out to us. Yep, the first one and we'll notice a lot of these are what we were just talking about, but the first one is there's a fear of vulnerability, and that means that you're reluctant to expose your true emotions and imperfections. Think about that for a second.

Rhett: 1:02:03

That was huge for me, bro.

Justin: 1:02:04

I mean, we could say a lot about that. It took a long time for me to get vulnerable, that's huge for me, bro.

Rhett: 1:02:09

I mean, we could say a lot.

Justin: 1:02:08

It took a long time for me to get vulnerable. Vulnerability is scary. It's terrifying, wow, especially when you're stepping out for the first time on it. Yeah, that went against everything, everything that I believed at that time. I needed to be like brother Christian. I needed to have things put together, be like brother Christian. I needed to have things put together. Almost like, if I didn't do it right, if I exposed myself to you, like in my emotions and all these things, I would have felt like I was letting God down because I wasn't being the the perfect man that that I felt like he wanted me to be.

Rhett: 1:02:41

Well, bring it into perspective of even you know how many years we've been serving the Lord. When I'm 30, whatever it is, yeah.

Justin: 1:02:48

This podcast.

Rhett: 1:02:49

I mean, it took us three years to get to the point where we're like, okay, let's take a step, yeah, and make this podcast, oh absolutely and get authentic and vulnerable. I mean there's some things we're not going to open up to and there's wisdom to that.

Justin: 1:03:00

There's a lot of wisdom in that.

Rhett: 1:03:02

But I feel like that we've been going on. If you go back and listen from the beginning to now, it's like just seeing the ability to get a little bit more. You know, and I hope that you do.

Justin: 1:03:12

I hope you go back and listen and see that we too are growing through this process. We are students. This is why we have such an interest in helping people with this, because we were living in this and we want to see people experience that freedom. Yep, the second one perfectionism. That's me. The tendency to strive for flawlessness and set excessively high standards, often leading to self-criticism and fear of failure.

Rhett: 1:03:44

Yeah, that's a good one. You could put me right in that box. I mean, I'm like 99% of me lives in that box.

Justin: 1:03:52

Bro, I got about 138 half written songs because they just weren't hitting the level and I'm like I am not going to let anybody hear these. I mean just, you put it in any category, Any category of life.

Justin: 1:04:04

I mean even with summer. I mean I love we're hitting 25 years of marriage. We're going to talk about that in a future episode, me and you and our marriage journeys Over the past several years and even now there's only certain vulnerabilities I notice that I'm beginning to break out of, and it's wonderful the very things that we were terrified of. It actually will set you free, that you don't have to have it just all together, and that is really really nice. The third one is conflict avoidance. Well, that's what we just talked about on the football field.

Justin: 1:04:36

Inclined to steer clear of situations that might lead to emotional discomfort or confrontation. That was me when the Raptors beat the Bills and you didn't think that we won.

Rhett: 1:04:47

Well, yeah, well, let's be real, we won that game, but whatever.

Justin: 1:04:52

We can still live in it. I heard this there's peace in the midst of this tension.

Rhett: 1:04:55

We just have to until we meet Jesus face to face. This will be one that Jesus will sit us down and go. Okay, we're going to play the replay from heaven. You guys ready?

Justin: 1:05:03

Here we go. I cannot wait for him to do that, and he will wipe away every tear from your eyes. He is no, because he'll say joyful tears are okay, Joyful tears, Victory tears are all right. Weep with those who weep. They're like.

Justin: 1:05:14

Jesus, get rid of the towel and don't go for his feet, go for his eyes.

Rhett: 1:05:19

Oh man, I'll wash his feet with my tears.

Justin: 1:05:22

Anyways but yeah, that's a real one.

Rhett: 1:05:29

I know you're trying to move it on to the next one. No, you're good, you're good. This is so good. Oh man, because I'm okay with living with this tension, we can laugh about it now.

Justin: 1:05:35

But the conflict avoidance, bro. There's so much to be gained from those moments.

Rhett: 1:05:41

Like I said, man, no shame on my parent and my dad he did an amazing job but all the stuff that I went through as a kid like the only thing I felt like I. I went through so much that I felt like I had to create peace in order for me to feel like I could like. You know it's that's what I did. I was a conflict avoider for and you guys would mess with me.

Rhett: 1:06:00

You know you and Mike yeah it's like Rhett's the peacemaker in this and then I don't know, somewhere along the lines as I grew in my maturity with the Lord, like I just learned how to get past that.

Justin: 1:06:12

And my natural tendency is that.

Rhett: 1:06:14

But I've grown so much out of that to where I'm like I don't care if you're mad at me, you're mad at me.

Justin: 1:06:18

That's your issue, not mine. In different seasons of life, we would show strength in those areas. Like. Use Micah as an example Me Like, use Micah as an example. Me and Micah could fight it out with the best of them and I did not suffer from conflict avoidance at all. Yeah, you would jump in there and feel it, yeah. But then there's the times, too, where I'm now going through it and I don't want to have.

Rhett: 1:06:36

It gave me so much anxiety. I was like I've got to bring peace to this situation, because I can't handle this, yeah, and I didn't know why.

Justin: 1:06:50

Yeah, why? You know, yeah it. Well, it happens now like here I am a grown man me, my brother and my dad like there will be fights of just verbal. We are arguing with each other.

Justin: 1:06:54

That sets in and my brother is very opinionated and I can be the same way too and my dad does not, like he is the peacemaker, so he's like all right, guys, let's just forget about this. Hey, you might want some pie, you know? And? And it used to be like we would just stop and it would frustrate my brother, and now it is the normal thing. Well, let's just sit with it.

Justin: 1:07:15

If I feel my dad shutting it down, ain't this right, dad, are you listening? If I feel Dad shut Bo down, like come on, bo, let's just don't talk about it, I will stop and say, hey, dad, let him talk. Like I'm a big man, I can handle this. And me and my brother will have our disagreement out in the kitchen. We're with family. People got their ideas that everything's perfect in certain people's world. It's messy, anything worthwhile is messy, and we will have our messy little argument and we'll see each other's side. We can agree to disagree or we can actually shift each other's perspective, but we didn't avoid having that conflict and it is never it's never backfired on me where I, where I wish I would have just shut my mouth Like it's a hell. If you can have a healthy, like conflict like you, actually me and my brother have gotten closer, that's what I'm saying.

Rhett: 1:08:07

In our later years than we did our entire childhood, but there's humility that comes from it, though, and there's a wisdom to be able to walk into it with peace, not trying to get a resolve, but just try to be understood.

Justin: 1:08:17

Yeah, it's exactly the fix. We've said this so many times. We try to fix so much crap, don't we. Stop fixing it and just welcome that talk you had with your neighbor. Yeah and just be. You're planting seeds. Yeah, it's planting seeds.

Rhett: 1:08:32

That's all it is, and I'm not any better than he is and he's not like. It's one of those moments like I don't think I'm better than you Like. This is a honest conversation of just somebody who cares and trying to bring a clear understanding and whether you agree or not, it doesn't change my aspect of us being able to hang out. Do life? Come back to Topgolf.

Justin: 1:08:51

Have a good time, you know like but and my encouragement to the person listening who might have whether we want to call it this or not is pride. If we have that pride and someone is challenging you and you, like you want to walk away, my encouragement is try your best in the discomfort and just pause and listen. If it's not abusive I don't mean that you got to leave abuse, but if you're being challenged, it could be you who's not ready to hear the challenge and you might grow if you would just stop and at least listen to what they're trying to say. You don't have to agree, but it allows you to have some kind of conversation and just get rid of conflict avoidance in your life. And then the last one will be self-protection, and that's the behavior aimed at shielding yourself from potential hurt or rejection by distancing from emotionally challenging situations. Yeah, all these are very similar, like there's a likeness to that, but once again I was emotionally charged in that moment and because I had a wrong theology that God's not in that I need to step away. So many times and I'm speaking to the Christians too right here we can grow up with bad theology and we avoid those who are different or disagree from us or you're from a different denomination and it's usually probably because you've had a leader who has probably been a bit heavy on you got to believe this, you got to believe this and if someone brings a different opinion, you feel like you're compromising. That can happen all the time. And you distance yourself and therefore you're protect. All you're doing is self-protecting the time. And you distance yourself and therefore you're protect. All you're doing is self-protecting and what's happening is you are missing opportunities for the connections that it might be God bringing into your life. Yeah, I would say some of the closest relationships you'll have are the ones that maybe that first encounter it wasn't actually a great one, but you actually got through a little bit of the tension and found out there's a lot of common ground.

Justin: 1:10:50

There's a verse, psalms 139, three, that says you discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with all my ways. And if we could just have that confidence to know God's familiar with all of our ways. Like, no matter the tension that we're going through, no matter what you might be feeling in that moment, like God is familiar with your ways. You don't have to hide anything from him. He already sees it. And what I love about the Psalms is you can be so honest, and David was so honest and the psalmist were so honest in getting these feelings out, because God already knows, he's familiar to your ways and that's why that Psalm 139 concludes in 23, verse 23 and 24. Search me, god, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. He already knows your anxious thoughts. Know my anxious thoughts. He already knows your anxious thoughts. Know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way of everlasting.

Rhett: 1:11:55

I'm glad you read that verse because that's exactly what I was thinking so cool, so good. Yeah, well, guys, thanks for the hang, and chocolate chip cookies mixed with sweet tea Turns out to be a pretty good combo.

Justin: 1:12:11

It's a great combo For conversation. What I would encourage you. It's a great thing if ever you want to remember the Super Bowl Twingate champions of 1993, the Raptors Bills.

Rhett: 1:12:23

And the way we said, that made the Raptor Bills Sure. They both won. I would say the fact that we're still friends today means that, hey, we both won, did we not? We won, you won, I won, we won, like we won.

Justin: 1:12:38

Right, we can agree. We can agree on that. No, the timer was out, the Raptors won.

Rhett: 1:12:41

No, the Bills won. Whatever that ball left my hand. Peace in the midst of tension. Hey friends, thank you so much for joining us on today's conversation. We cannot wait until our next episode that drops next Monday. So until then, we hope you have a great day, stay safe and we will see you soon, right here with your friends Red and Justin at Armchair. Authentic.