Justin: 0:00

You got to deal with your stuff and we have been in a culture where it's almost communicated to just don't deal with it, put it back and let's just kind of move on. And you know what that advice is good for certain times, but it's also there's a time we got to acknowledge and deal.

Rhett: 0:16

Well, the first time I sat down with a therapist, she asked me. She was like hey, how are you feeling right now? I'm like good, okay, like, um, like, how are you feeling right now? I'm like good, okay, like, explain, like, talk to me about the feelings you got going on. I was like, uh, don't really know how to do that. Um, you know I'm good. I mean, the joy of the Lord is my strength. You know and I know this sounds so lame Like I'm always the guy that grabs like a pillow and puts it in his lap or something. She was like that pillow right there. I was like, yeah, she said on the other side of it, it's like this wheel with like all these different emotions and she's like pick one, which one of those are you feeling? I did not realize there was that many emotions. I literally thought there was happy and there's sad, or there's joy and there's anger, like those were the extremes. The reality is, wow, there's so many different emotions.

Rhett: 1:12

Welcome back everybody to another conversation with your friends, red and Justin right here at Armchair Authentic a podcast where we're having real conversations about real life with real people. Now, justin and I have been doing life with each other for over 39 years and we've got stories, we have conversations all the time, and we decided that we just wanted to steward our stories, we wanted to steward our relationships and even our conversations in a way that serve you, and that is what this podcast is all about. So if this is your first time with us, welcome friends. It's so great to have you along for the ride today. Now we don't want to waste a lot of time on the front end, so we're just going to go ahead and dive into the conversation right now. You guys ready, here we go. Well, justin, I feel so much better than the last episode.

Justin: 2:07

You sound so much better. Thank you, bud.

Rhett: 2:09

I'm on the back end. Well, you know that's up for debate. You know you do.

Justin: 2:14

Well, some people might like that low voice.

Rhett: 2:16

I kind of went in last week and I was listening and just talking slower and deeper and now I'm back to this you know, and there goes my energy there it goes yeah Um, I'm the, I'm the less energetic when I get.

Rhett: 2:31

Yeah, it was amazing. I was like, come on, justin, bring the energy. You did a great job, yeah, man. Well, thank you for every single one of you who have, uh, dealt patiently with me on that episode. Um, but I'm feeling much better. Um, I'm on the back end of it. So hopefully by the next episode we record even better, great. But if we're batch recording this in the same day you know, it's still going to be the same, maybe in three or four weeks Exactly.

Justin: 2:59

Episode uh 60 or 70. Yeah, there you go, anyways you should be full strength.

Rhett: 3:06

So I'm not one big on dreams, but I woke up this morning remembering what I dreamed last night, and it was to say it was strange was yeah, so I'll let you guys be the judge. So I literally had a dream last night, yes, that I was playing golf with Michael Jordan, tiger Woods, and on a par five, which is impossible to do from the tee box.

Justin: 3:36

I got a hole in one. Impressive.

Rhett: 3:38

Yeah, and I remember that, and I woke up this morning thinking what does that mean? You?

Justin: 3:45

have any thoughts?

Rhett: 3:46

Like actually Gary P Turner, also known as ChatGPT.

Justin: 3:55

Is that true? No, that's just what I mean. I was about to say I've never heard that.

Rhett: 4:01

Gary P Turner helped me out with a little bit of this. Gary P Turner helped me out with a little bit of this. In fact I was actually putting this in this morning to grammar correct a text that I was going to send the fellas in our small group. And so, fellas, if you're listening, you already know about this, but anyway. So I put it into ChatGPT and ChatGPT thought I was asking it for a dream interpretation. So here is chat GPT's response to me. I'm curious Because I said, fellas, last night I had a dream I played golf with Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods and I got a hole in one on a short par five.

Rhett: 4:40

Anyone have the gift of interpretation and that was a joke. But I put that in there, thinking I want to make sure my grammar is correct if I'm sending this out in a group text. But Chad GPT thought I was like talking to it and so it said that dream is legendary, literally. Here's a playful interpretation Michael Jordan equals excellence, competitiveness, goat level dominance. Tiger Woods equals mastery, precision and overcoming odds. A hole-in-one on a par five, impossible odds, absolutely shattered. So maybe the dream is saying this Rhett, you're stepping into a season where the impossible becomes possible With the right company, confidence and a little favor from heaven, you're about to crush something nobody thought could be done. Or it could mean you really need to play more golf. Either way, I'd say dream big and keep swinging.

Justin: 5:37

That's good. I mean come on that sounds like any prophet a church would have come into town and give an explanation.

Rhett: 5:45

Chad GPT will tell you anything you want it to tell you. Yeah, it's like oh, I know how he operates, I know what he likes. Oh, he knows you.

Justin: 5:51

Oh yeah, it knows you it. It knows you well, it knows me, it hears all your conversations.

Rhett: 5:58

Yeah.

Justin: 5:59

It hears everything that you dream of.

Rhett: 6:06

It's like like he'll like this, that dreamer is gonna love this interpretation. Oh man, you know. And I was thinking, well, I mean, that's a pretty good interpretation. I would think, oh, it's beautiful. But I never really remember my dreams. So when I wake up to this I'm thinking I'm not saying there's any spiritual significance to this, but that's a pretty good interpretation yeah, I mean, I don't know that I could do better.

Justin: 6:21

It was great, excellent, excellent. You don't want to try Precision? Yeah, yeah.

Rhett: 6:26

Something that's impossible. You're about to get done with the right people.

Justin: 6:30

Yeah, right.

Rhett: 6:32

With a little hope of heaven.

Justin: 6:33

Are you asking another interpretation, sure, or are you asking what are my thoughts on that?

Rhett: 6:37

What are?

Justin: 6:37

your thoughts on any of it. It means let's see some of it will copy old Gary what you were saying. Gpt Gary P Turner, that there's greatness. Jordan represented the best.

Rhett: 6:55

Yeah.

Justin: 6:58

Tiger Woods. I like how it kind of fixed that he could have been the best but he made some mistakes here, but he was still very precision.

Rhett: 7:05

I must be a man full of grace to do life with these guys, in my dreams at least.

Justin: 7:10

It means that let's see.

Rhett: 7:13

It means nothing.

Justin: 7:15

It means that we elevate all these people who are just so awesome and you would represent ordinary in this and that even the ordinary can do the extraordinary. Oh, there you go. And even the extraordinary can find themselves hanging with very ordinary.

Rhett: 7:32

Well, I agree, Tell me how you really feel how ordinary I am. This is very humbling.

Justin: 7:39

Compared to Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods, to the world, they would be like who, who hit? That par five, so you'd be viral now and then you'd be the new popular guy. Could you imagine For five minutes?

Rhett: 7:51

Yeah.

Justin: 7:53

I like GPT's explanation.

Rhett: 7:55

It felt really good.

Justin: 7:56

It feels good. I mean, it really felt like something that if someone came and spoke like, this is what I feel.

Rhett: 8:02

It's a word from heaven. I would be like wow there's something to that. There is, yeah, right, I could see that. Yeah, speaking of Michael Jordan, did you hear the news Like he's coming on as like a sports, not anchor, what do you call him?

Justin: 8:16

Broadcaster yeah, for what?

Rhett: 8:18

For, like NBC or Fox or something, for what sport Basketball Look it up, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about that?

Justin: 8:25

We love our days with Michael Jordan. I mean, we're in Birmingham, alabama, for all the cities listening around America. He came and played in our town, but it wasn't basketball, it was baseball. And if you will go back to the earlier episode of National Anthem, we get to sing the National Anthem for Michael Jordan at this, michael Jordan to join NBC for NBA coverage as a special contributor, Great.

Rhett: 8:50

So my mindset is, the NBA has been struggling right now to get viewership and so they're like we've got to bring somebody in. That will actually Smart move. Yeah, I don't know. That's my two cents.

Justin: 8:59

The playoffs have actually been doing better this year but, still Jordan making an appearance Because he is the GOAT. His greatness, I think, has to do too, because he's kind of not seen a lot. Have you watched NASCAR? Is he on NASCAR?

Rhett: 9:16

Did you know he owns a NASCAR team? He owns a NASCAR. I knew that. He's always on it and so oh is he like a spokesman a lot. No, no, he's the owner of a team. Part owner of a team.

Justin: 9:25

Yeah, but you haven't seen him come out much to talk, you know, and to broadcast or do things like that. That's true, it's almost like in a much different way, but Tom Brady did that this year in the NFL. I'd watch, and Tom Brady, I mean he gives some great commentary, but I'm listening to him talking and never once do I think who is this guy?

Rhett: 9:44

I mean?

Justin: 9:45

what does he know? I mean, he's won what? Six, seven Super Bowls, and you're going to listen. In the same way, I would love to watch Jordan give commentary when, like LeBron James, flops on the ground.

Rhett: 9:59

Yeah, you see back in my day, we didn't have to flop you know, In my day we got up and pushed him back. Yeah, anybody that breathed on Jordan got called for a foul. You touched the fabric of his shorts as he went up for a shot, but he never backed down. He didn't flop Jordan. I don't think I ever saw him flop.

Justin: 10:21

No, yeah, they probably did call heavier calls on him, but still I don't remember I ever saw him flop. No, yeah, they probably did heavier calls on him, but still, I don't remember him backing down. He always rose to the occasion. He challenged his team to bring their best. Oh man, his work, ethic and discipline. And listen, you're talking to a guy.

Justin: 10:37

two of my favorites were Jordan LeBron. I mean, some people don't. I love LeBron James, but watching him the past two or three years, I do feel like I'm seeing more of the I don't know what's going on, like the flopping or the complaining when something happens, and so I'm, I'm loyal watching a soccer game. I try to defend it to the end, but it's like, oh man, this is getting harder and harder.

Rhett: 11:03

You know I don't watch soccer, or that you know europeans football yes, embarrassing, but it's like they do that.

Justin: 11:16

Wow, it's really bad. Yeah, I mean like it's it's former soccer players level they'll carry them off on a stretcher put them on the sideline.

Rhett: 11:20

They'll jump off the stretcher and be like all right, I'm good, put me back in the game.

Justin: 11:23

Yeah see, I'm not a big fan of that.

Justin: 11:26

I mean they flop when they're not touched and it's like you know that's a strategy. It's funny we're saying this now. I was talking to my boys, my two youngest. I was putting them to bed the other night and we're having a conversation and it came, and I was when I began to play in some of these competitive leagues. There is an art which it sounds so, you know it sounds wrong, but there's this art where you can actually make it look like someone penalized you. And I was just showing them some of the techniques and I say this on air. I never did this, I never participated in it. I knew when it was coming. I was trained, I understood this, participated in it. I knew when it was coming. I was trained to understood this. But people were trained how to walk by. You kind of grab at you and it the way your arm reacted, it made it look like you pushed them to the ground.

Rhett: 12:13

Yeah, cause you were like get off me.

Justin: 12:15

You were kind of like lifting your arm in the air and then they would respond to that and fall yes, or they're guarding and you're kind of posting up for I'll use that word loosely in soccer but you're kind of posting against somebody and they would slam themselves to the ground and bring you with them and then the ref would give you a yellow card. So you had to learn how to avoid all that. So I was taking my boys and I was showing them.

Justin: 12:36

I was being like the deceiver and I was jumping on the ground and I brought them down with me and I'm like, you see that it's like you just got a yellow card and they felt so full of like the injustice of that and I said, buddy, it happens all the time. So I pulled up soccer games and I was showing them all the. I was trying to find what I was talking about, but all I could find was a bunch of flopping.

Rhett: 13:00

And it's such a turnoff, Like the means on flopping. Now it's such a turnoff. Like the means I'm flopping. Now it's like watching a montage of just flops. So every second flop flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, and you're like oh my gosh, yeah.

Justin: 13:10

So when it makes its way into, like the you know the NBA and you just start to see people do that, it's like, yeah, I don't.

Rhett: 13:21

I don't understand it. I don't know what I wouldn't say. I was a flopper, but I was dramatic.

Justin: 13:25

Were you. I don't remember that On the field In defense. I don't remember you flopping, I just remember you being maybe overly aggressive, yeah.

Rhett: 13:34

Yeah, I'll never forget getting a yellow card. I got so mad I took a guy down or something, or it didn't get called or something, and then, whenever the ball is like supposed to be placed and the other team's supposed to kick it yeah, what do they call that?

Justin: 13:45

like a free kick of sorts like a direct kick into I went over and kicked the crap out of that ball and kicked it out and they didn't. You don't remember that. That was you channeling your yeah, that was you channeling your john mackinrow side. Yeah, enter john mackinrow. For those who don't know, john mackinrow was a tennis legend who just had the worst attitude. He he always would break brackets and ret in his early days. I only had one emotion you had the anger emotion that just would go off.

Rhett: 14:10

There's a lot of psychological things that go along with me understanding why I only had that one emotion and I'm not going to get into all that today Understood. But I have grown to realize there are so many more emotions than just anger. I'm with you, man, but that have grown to realize there are so many more emotions than just anger. I'm with you, man. But that was about all I saw expressed. We had some common threads, yeah.

Justin: 14:30

I remember in the worst of my moments I would get so mad at one of our friends that we'd go play a lot of outdoor basketball and pick up games, and I always remember having this white Nike hat and I would take it off and just start slapping him with it. Do you remember that He'd make that wrong move?

Rhett: 14:48

And it was like I didn't know how to just talk it out.

Justin: 14:50

I got angry and I wanted to beat you up.

Rhett: 14:52

Yeah, yeah. Well, I we only had I don't know, I can't speak for you, but like anger, like was the only emotion, as I mentioned, but I never really took it out on people. And then when I say that I have this mind, this image of us playing basketball one time, oh, I know where you're going and we?

Rhett: 15:12

I know we have to be careful, but I, I, yeah, I want to be very careful with that story, but what I would say is I would take it out on inanimate objects, you know, but, like with tennis, I would take it out on my racket, yeah, and are you talking about the two and two pickup game?

Justin: 15:32

yeah, yeah, yeah that, but in parkway, yeah, but at the soccer.

Rhett: 15:35

Yeah, but the soccer, I would take it out on the soccer ball. Yeah, I wouldn't take it out on anybody, right? But I think one day it just it just caught up to me it did and uh, yeah, we were playing that pickup game.

Justin: 15:46

Two really good players. Two really good players, phenomenal. They were the stars of the basketball team.

Rhett: 15:51

And if this individual is listening today, please accept my sincerest apologies. I was a young kid and I should have known better, and I apologize. Hopefully, if we ever run into each other in public, you would have the grace to forgive me, as Christ has forgiven me, and so I'm a better man today than I was when I was this teenager. Yes, but I will not forget giving at least two warnings to my brother in Christ and the Lord today.

Justin: 16:18

Yes.

Rhett: 16:19

So we were playing, and you and I, we only knew how to play really streetball, that's all we knew we were streetballers's be honest. We didn't you know what's a foul, come on it's true, I mean, yeah, whatever you know, and um, and anyway, this individual being really good, you know at that time and our high school and, and he would be somebody all of our high school friends would know, yeah, um was driving the lane.

Rhett: 16:42

a couple times he'd put his shoulder into me and, like, as he'd go out for a shot, he would just, you know, push into me. And, uh, it is Cause he was taught to draw the foul. Yeah, I taught to draw the foul, but I'm also like you know, I'm not, I'm dude. I play differently you know, and um, that's, they didn't know that about. All right. I was like bro you that again, like you did, I'm gonna. I literally said that.

Rhett: 17:08

I said like do it again, yeah, and this was after like two or three times of getting like sucker punched in in in the shoulder blade as he's going up for a shot and I said, if you do that again, I don't know what word came out my mouth, but yeah, it'd be the last thing you do. I think it's something with that effect. He probably remembers. Yeah, but all I remember is he did it again and I went red. I went red and I slapped the brother.

Justin: 17:30

It was the slap heard around the corner. A lot of slapping.

Rhett: 17:34

And I am not proud of this and man, wow, what a moment.

Justin: 17:38

And yeah, that was the moment you kind of jumped in between. I had to, because his teammate immediately went after you.

Rhett: 17:49

Well, you know, after me I was red. I mean, he didn't really get near me. It was that whole like I'm going to get you man. I'm going to get you man, which means as, as your teammate. I had to insert myself into it. It's that whole like back and forth.

Justin: 18:08

I'm with him, kind of holding him back, like hey, come on, come on, come on, come on, it's good, it's good, it's good.

Rhett: 18:12

Cause you're probably, you're probably like I can't what is happening right now?

Justin: 18:17

It did yeah.

Rhett: 18:18

Oh man and yeah, I mean it just it looked like the wrong picture.

Justin: 18:23

Oh, it was the wrong picture. Yeah it, just it looked like. Yeah, it didn't look good. It wouldn't have looked good if you walked in. It looked like a fight among people.

Rhett: 18:31

Yeah, yeah. We're so being careful right now At the private school, because we know our heart, we know their heart. It wasn't there, but in that moment it got pretty heated. But lessons were learned on all fronts.

Justin: 18:48

Well, he never tried to do that shot on you again.

Rhett: 18:50

No, he never did and I don't think I ever heard from him again, and we never played pick-up basketball again yeah, I did because I was more close to them, because we were in the same grade.

Justin: 19:02

Oh, you did.

Rhett: 19:02

Oh, yeah, yeah, because I was two grades, or at least a grade. No it was one grade above. You were just one grade above. Yeah, yeah, there you go.

Justin: 19:12

You know what made you bottle that up and finally it just came out. You know it's okay. So this is changing.

Rhett: 19:19

Because that was not me man, like I mean, but like it was like oh man, I've got so much in me and it's coming out.

Justin: 19:24

There's a reason for that, though. Yeah, the other day just something unexpected happened to me and my wife made a comment, and that's what made me change the subject to this.

Justin: 19:36

We need to change this. No, this is great, but what happened was I'm. You know I have a swimming pool. This is the time of year. I'm trying to make sure it's going to be immaculate by summertime, which you know we have a few weeks left, and so I'm just wanting to get everything prepped and ready. I'll go out there a few times a week just to go ahead and salt it, make sure it's going good. Well, I went to the pool skimmer and I usually just kind of backwash stuff out, make sure everything's good. I make sure nothing's stopping it up. So I lift up the little pool skimmer and usually in there you know you got all this stuff that's collected. I put in one of those grippers a long time ago where you can bolt it in, so instead of reaching down to the basket among all that gunk, you can take the little plastic handle.

Rhett: 20:21

Yeah.

Justin: 20:25

Which is funny because this time of year in the south, where we're at, there's spiders that will get all over it. So I have to bring like a stick in there and I'm kind of knocking the spiders off. I'm not really scared of spiders. Uh, I actually see them as the good guys, like they'll destroy a lot of things, especially like in our neck of the woods wolf spiders. Wow, how times have changed.

Rhett: 20:41

They have, isn't it funny? It funny, I mean, as a kid we couldn't. It was a brown recluse and a black widow, that was it. Everything, Every spider it's a brown recluse. I'll lift up man every time.

Justin: 20:51

Well, I'll lift up the skimmer and I'll go jump it in the side yard and let the spiders run loose. Go, do your thing. That's my normal deal, so conditioned that I'm looking at it and I got my hand there trying to knock off the spiders, that I don't look at the lip of the um of the skimmer, I just see the side of my eye. What looks? Maybe I have a lot of trees, it's just a Brown leaf or something. And I look up and it is a copperhead snake. You're kidding me Up.

Rhett: 21:21

No, brother, no, yes, little one it's a little one, but it was enough to get some damage, oh my gosh Copperhead coiled up right.

Justin: 21:31

Never going to swim in your pool ever. They don't even have to. Never going to swim in your pool.

Rhett: 21:34

I haven't got the invite yet, but I'm like never going to swim in the pool.

Justin: 21:38

Yes, you will, I'm done, and it's like it hits me and I back up slowly, yeah, but then it's like in my body it's so just pent up of just stress and like fear and I just have to go like and I'm just shaking my body off, I'm just, I mean, I'm doing the craziest.

Rhett: 22:06

I wish people could see your arms flailing right now.

Justin: 22:09

I was doing like a dance out there because I had to get it out. Yeah, I just okay. So we ended up dealing with it. Full disclosure. My brother is like he came over to the kid he's the, he's the man, he'll, he's not scared of anything. I looked at the clock it was Friday at the time of this recording, uh, and I looked at it and I said you know, he's probably on his way to the house after work. Call him, hey, bo. Are you uh, driving by? You know on your way home? Yeah, would you mind? You're probably close to my house, aren't you? He said, yeah, would you stop by. Man, I'd love for you to help me get rid of this copperhead.

Justin: 22:43

he comes over, he's glad to do it he loves it yeah, he gets the shovel, you know, cuts his head off, and we, you know dump.

Rhett: 22:50

So it wasn't in the bucket, it was just right on the lip.

Justin: 22:53

It was on the lip of the edge Like it.

Rhett: 22:56

my hand is right there, I'm so thankful.

Justin: 23:00

Yeah, I'm so thankful he was. I don't, I don't know what was going on. I'm so thankful, oh my gosh. But when?

Rhett: 23:13

when Bo got the, you know the tool the shovel at it.

Justin: 23:14

I mean, it was like striking, I bet it was. But he killed it, cut its head off. You've made it mad. We dumped it in the woods and so um anyway, so that was awesome.

Rhett: 23:17

Where were you standing when that was happening? Were you up on your balcony or your porch?

Justin: 23:21

no, I was a few steps back, I was like walking up behind him and then, as he got closer, I was like now be careful bro honestly, you know, what I was thinking was he's going to pull out his shotgun and be like pop, pop, and then like and just put holes all over the pool. He didn't want to hurt our pool, so he did it very careful. Oh, I was going to get like my .22 pistol if it would have been in the grass, oh man.

Rhett: 23:48

I mean I would have overreacted.

Justin: 23:50

just get my. Uh. I would've just probably got my AR nine.

Rhett: 23:53

Wow, wow, justin tell us what's in your arsenal? There's a lot there. You got to stay away. Yeah, okay, I will defend my family in the name of Jesus.

Justin: 24:01

Yeah, at all costs. That's my. I have to steward taking care of my family, so I'm ready, just in case, I only use it for target practice, yeah, or to take out, you know, animals if we ever need to. You know, anyway, I use my sniper. I have a sniper rifle I use, I'll use for animals that's awesome. Which it would be cheating for the sport of it. Yeah, that's another story. When I when my brother got me he buys me guns, yeah, that's his love like christmas and birthday and he'll go put the most crazy scope on it.

Justin: 24:30

And I remember getting this scope that he bought me to put on. It feels like a sniper rifle and the person didn't want to put it in at Bass Pro Shop because they were like you're taking the sport out of this. He's like it's not even fun anymore and I said, well, I'm not getting it for the sport of it, I'm getting it for such a time that I need to defend Take care of business.

Justin: 24:52

I said I want to take care of business from a distance before I take care of business up close business um yeah, and so I didn't really care what the guy thought, but that's the kind of arsenal that it's like I have accumulated go yeah, so that's why I was gonna just use the 22 to take out the snake gotcha yeah, but I talked.

Justin: 25:10

You know all that story, so that was great, but took care of it and but I will say this when we first moved into that house, we had this, um, like a like this deck by the pool. That was already there and it was it. In theory, it was cool, but it was just an. To me it was an eyesore. I wanted to like, just like, knock it all down and put some trees for more of the beauty. And when we had the guy come to do all that, he found two or three copperheads around there.

Rhett: 25:41

So we were around woods. Well, the deck went out and the hill from your pool went down, and so the deck was out above, so almost like a 90-degree triangle With a bunch of wood under there.

Justin: 25:51

So you could only imagine how that was a nest of infestation under that deck and you know, when he saw those and I remember he was like a tough dude, he just he would just like pick them up and kill them. I'm like, uh, and he threw them out in the woods, so I never saw him.

Rhett: 26:07

This is the first time oh yeah, he was oh yeah.

Justin: 26:10

Sorry, buddy.

Rhett: 26:12

If he like the guy in our first time. Oh yeah, he would.

Justin: 26:13

Oh yeah, sorry, buddy, if he's listening yeah, he's probably like why'd you kill that snake? Yeah, um, and a lot of people are probably saying that the way I've actually learned of if you ever go to neighborhood like your neighborhood neighborhood for whatever and people will ask about like hey, what do I do if I find this snake? If you read a hundred comments, I'm telling you go do this. Oh, about 80 of them are like do not hurt that snake, you need to let it live, they'll take care of all the bad.

Rhett: 26:36

Well, a rat snake or something I'm down with, but no, if it's a copperhead, it's going to meet Jesus.

Justin: 26:41

Yeah, that was my deal too Copperhead water moccasin, you know any of those, and so that was a bummer cause I haven't seen that since 2021. So, seeing that, it is a little bit like I've got to go out there today and I'm already going to be analyzing my surroundings like crazy, yeah, the point that I even told that story is when I got home I was, I mean, when summer got home, that night I was telling her the story and as I'm even telling it, you know how the emotions come out again.

Rhett: 27:13

Adrenaline starts flailing again. I'm like, oh my gosh, the whole moment, yeah.

Justin: 27:17

And I even told her. I was like I don't know why I'm doing that, but I even did that. Then and she says, you know, and she's psychologist. I mean, she's a therapist and she can really read my mail and stuff. And she said, you know, justin, that's good for you To relive it. I said and I was like what do you mean? Telling the story and I think that's fine too. But, she was like no, that you did not bottle it up.

Justin: 27:40

You got it out. You screamed, you threw your arms around, you gave yourself a reaction to acknowledge the threat that was there.

Rhett: 27:48

Yeah, that's really good.

Justin: 27:50

Or whatever it was. That was there. You have to get it out, and so that has just stuck with me. Yeah, and so in the same way, in every area, even a conversation you and I had earlier today. I mean in so many ways, when we bottle up stuff and we don't acknowledge and allow our body to actually react to it, you know, hopefully in the appropriate way, cause if we don't, it's going to come out and do it.

Rhett: 28:13

Don't slug somebody like me.

Justin: 28:14

It's going to come out into, like the slap hurt around, parkway's gymnasium.

Rhett: 28:18

Yeah, you know, circa 1992 probably.

Justin: 28:22

Yeah, and you had cause you hadn't really been able to just maybe deal with that in the right way. It's amazing how that stuff yeah, because what came?

Rhett: 28:31

out what came out really wasn't about what was happening in that moment. It was bottled up other aggression, it was the strong emotions. Yeah, it had nothing to do with the individual, or you know, it was my issue that went so much deeper than than you know, that little basketball game, oh yeah, no, which was pointless at the end of the day.

Justin: 28:50

Yeah, and that only. It only happens to like you're going through the maturing process and you got to deal with your stuff. Yeah, and we have been in a culture where it's good for certain times, but it's also it's. There's a time we gotta we gotta acknowledge and deal.

Rhett: 29:15

Well, the first time I sat down with a therapist which is a very good thing to do Um, I was like man, where have you been all my life? I wish I would have done this a lot sooner, and I know we've talked about this before, but I will never forget sitting on that little couch and, uh, she asked me. She was like hey, like how are you feeling right now? I'm like good, you know, like okay, like explain, like talk to me about the feelings you got going on. I was like oh, don't really know how to do that. You know I'm good. I mean, the joy of the Lord is my strength, you know. And she's like, and I know this sounds so lame and this gives, I get it. It's pretty lame, but when you're sitting on a couch, like I'm always the guy that grabs like a pillow and puts it in his lap or something.

Justin: 29:59

I don't know what it is about how to like, grab something or whatever people but she was like that pillow right there.

Rhett: 30:04

I was like, yeah, she said, on the other side of it there's a whole like circle of emotions, like it's like this wheel of sorts with like all these different emotions, and she's like pick one, which one of those are you feeling? And I was like, oh man, this is like weird. What was weird about it? For me, it was like I did not realize there was that many emotions. I literally thought there was happy and they're sad, or there's joy and there's anger. Like those were the extremes. Yeah, I didn't.

Rhett: 30:33

I know, as a 47 year old man, I forget how old I was at the time, but you know, five, six years ago or however many years it was, um, I was like that sounds silly coming out of my mouth right now, but the reality is, wow, there's so many different emotions. But I didn't know it and I couldn't even begin to tell you which ones I was or I were. That's bad grammar, but it's interesting to me because I always grew up from the lens of well, this was anger, you know, or you're happy, or you're sad, or you're anyway.

Rhett: 31:04

So yeah, anyways, I've been on this journey, and part of that journey is podcasting and talking about it. Oh yeah, there's a lot to talk about sometimes I feel like the best therapy is just sitting here talking man yeah, I agree and and at the expense of our listeners yeah so thank you all for letting me grow, I would.

Justin: 31:23

I would think that people enjoy, you know they, they enjoy refreshing they enjoy vulnerability, authenticity, because it is important, because it might not be anger that you know, the listeners dealing with it wasn't it was anger, but there was so many different things with me too. I mean, there was, you know. There was a sense of pride, there was a sense of just knowing it all that, you know, for some reason I can remember wanting to always have my act together. There's perfectionism, and there's some people who hear that and they don't struggle with that at all, but they want to be a great worker, you know. So we all struggle, just with different things and how we we have to go through the maturation process.

Rhett: 32:09

Well, that's a big word to actually do that. Yeah, maturing, sorry, we have to go through the maturing. Well, that's a big word To actually do that. Yeah, maturing, sorry. Maturation, we have to go through the maturing process. You're going to have to talk. At my level, we're getting it. It's not like hey, friends, just want to take a moment and say if you are enjoying today's conversation, could you do us a huge favor. Would you take a moment and copy the link from your favorite podcast platform and share it with a friend, email it to a friend. How about airdropping it over to your buddy or your sister right now? Man, that would mean so much to us. Thank you All right, guys. Back to the conversation.

Rhett: 32:42

I had to Google this really quick. But if you Google emotion wheel of some sort, this is what I was looking at. Google this if you want to. But there's a center section and then there's an outer. Think of like a oh, what do you call a dart, like a dartboard In the center. You've got happy, surprised, bad, fearful, angry, disgusted and sad, and those alone. I was like, okay, I could see some of these. But then, as you go to the outer part of the wheel, I mean you've got sections of like insecure, weak, rejected, threatened let down and that's all under fear.

Justin: 33:18

Yeah, careful.

Rhett: 33:19

And under anger. Okay, you can get a little bit more specific. Do you feel let down? Do you feel humiliated, bitter, mad, aggressive, frustrated, distant, critical? And then there's another layer of that that gets a little bit more micro detail Betray, critical. And then there's another layer of that that gets a little bit more micro detail betrayed, resentful, disrespected, ridiculed. I'm like whoa, that's really good, are these emotions I'm like I had, like I could not be. I was like I'm just angry and I couldn't identify all these other things and I had to go on a journey. I find one.

Justin: 33:46

Interesting too, that part of anger you know kind of that third layer down is numb. And that was one of the things I remember you sharing with us that one of your therapy appointments- yeah. They were like what are you feeling here? And you were like I don't feel anything. I feel numb. And they said, well, that's your problem. There was a problem there, but to trace numb back to angry is not something people would naturally do, I would have never done that.

Justin: 34:08

But that's I mean, that's really skeptical. Yeah, I mean you've been angered, maybe you've been left out of something, maybe you've been excluded from something, yeah, and now you kind of become that cynic, you become a skeptic, you become dismissive. You know, that's that third layer. Second layer of that really is under more critical, where you become distant. When you begin to see someone, maybe you work with on your team or a friend, they're starting to criticize everything, like I'm guilty, I can do that. They become distant. It's like I've been there because anger. It's interesting that you're showing that because I can get distant, because I might give an idea and if it's not welcomed, instead of saying hey, instead of fighting for it more, I might be like okay, yeah, well, just, I'm just not gonna say anything, let's see how this thing falls apart.

Rhett: 34:58

Yeah, it's like I grow distant my answer was always well, I want to. My answer should be that I'm joyful. My answer should be because I know scripture, like I know the scriptures that tell me that I should you know the joy of the lord is my strength, or I know the scriptures that tell me that I should you know the joy of the Lord is my strength. Or I know the scriptures that tell me not to worry and not to be anxious and to cast my cares on Christ because he cares for me. So I shouldn't be worried, I shouldn't be anxious. I know the scriptures, right, and so everything that I was combating were all the scriptures. In these moments of why I shouldn't be feeling an emotion. Yeah, and I had a misunderstanding that emotions play a huge part, and I'm not a professional at this. I'd love to get Summer on at some point to talk through some of this. It'd be so good, but, but, uh, but to realize the emotions are there really not to help you understand what, what you're processing?

Justin: 35:53

Yeah.

Rhett: 35:53

You know the you know why is that emotion there? That emotion is there to help kind of just not regulate, but to to for you to understand what you're going through. It's pointing you in a direction, right, yeah, I mean.

Rhett: 36:06

Correct me if I'm wrong, please, cause you're a lot smarter than I am with this, but for me, like that's not true, by the way, I was, I was, well, I feel that way, but angry, like anger, like I never understood, like that, really, that's there because of some other things that I'm going through, and I need to be able to process that in a healthy way, but not live there, yeah, but just journey through it. Yes, you know, um and, and not live there, but just journey through it, you know, and not act like it doesn't exist. Well, you need friends.

Justin: 36:35

Like we have a friendship and we get into our issues and you've got to have friends. But you also have to have mentors who've been there that they can speak that into you and you're open to hearing what they have to say, and they have proven that they can do that with their life. But also you've got to have people that you can also pour what you've learned into. Yeah, and so that's all the part of this Cause. If you're, if you're overcoming and getting all this but you're not having anybody to pour it out to, that's almost like you're, it's not, you're not allowing that flow to continue to go through there. But, yeah, anger, I mean it's. I mean we, you know, and I know we can, on a lot of these stories, we'll take it back to, you know, our childhood, because it really is. That's an important way to to start.

Justin: 37:18

But even growing into younger men, I mean just, you know I'm trying to look at some of this stuff like under fearful. You know where. You know some of those second, not second layer, but even the third layer, you know where. It's just like helpless, frightened. Maybe you feel overwhelmed, you're worried, you feel inadequate. I mean inferior, worthless, insignificant. Maybe you feel excluded. We said that a while ago. You feel persecuted, you feel nervous, you might feel exposed, so fearful and angry in so many ways they can go. I think that's why they're close to each other. In a quadrant you would notice that they're most closely associated with each other, and so with me, I would say, if I related all my bad days so with me, I would say if I related all my bad days, the shadow side of me would be more reverting to, between angry and fearful.

Justin: 38:26

So a lot of those second tiers I mean, that's, you know, feeling threatened, rejected, insecure, anxious Some of these shadow sides that can begin to emerge. These shadow sides that can begin to emerge, I mean these are something it's something to pay attention to, because when you're angry it doesn't always mean like well, stop being angry. And so, as a mentor, you got to understand it for yourself, but then also understand that there are flags that when you're talking to somebody and you're not trying to fix anybody, but when you're talking to somebody, why do they have that? Like, if someone is getting angry constantly, it's trying to look past that and think what's happened that's made them do that, because it's not simply them just being angry.

Rhett: 39:06

Yeah.

Justin: 39:06

They're being there or they're being aggressive in this particular situation. Are they being provoked? Why are they being hostile Like what has happened?

Rhett: 39:16

Yeah.

Justin: 39:16

Yeah, in their situation, whether it was childhood, whether it was something, even in their young career, and they're trying to advance. What is it that's making them feel that way? And so the only way you get to that mentor side is you're having to deal with yourself and all I can do is I go back to stories and I remember those moments, even as a surrendered to christ young man, and it's like you're, you feel on top of the world one day, and I mean I can. We've been using basketball. I can remember um, me, you and micah playing basketball. You know micah's been our guest. He's or have him back on the podcast, just as as a friend on the podcast. But you've heardah, but me and Micah would be so competitive with each other and you know he could put a move like drive right by me and instead of acknowledging like dude, great move.

Rhett: 40:10

That was good. I'm about to get you back and make it playful.

Justin: 40:14

Yeah, there wasn't any playful. I was ticked, yeah, and it was like I couldn't now just go do a move, that I had to like drive right by him. I had to do something, maybe to embarrass him, yeah. And so I remember one time like bounce, I mean dribbling the basketball, and I could have taken the shot, but I was so ticked at what happened before that I remember, when he's just kind of looking, I remember just taking that basketball and popping them on the head with it.

Justin: 40:41

It was terrible, I got to laugh a little bit, just because it was awful.

Rhett: 40:45

I hit him.

Justin: 40:46

I hit him on the head with it without letting go, like popped him, and then I shot a three pointer.

Rhett: 40:51

What happened after that? Did y'all like duke it out? And you have to leave the house or something.

Justin: 40:56

No, he regulated as a younger person better than I did, which probably has a lot to do with he also came from a more secure space, with his parents, learning how to work through those things.

Rhett: 41:07

He learned how to deal.

Justin: 41:08

And that's what I couldn't understand too. I could do that to him and he didn't want to get aggressive right away back, and it wasn't because he was scared, he was better regulated. And I could never understand how can people not want to Like I'd watch football games and people get tackled? How did he just let him throw him down like that? He got up. I would have got up and wanted to. You know, I'm only thinking through my mindset at that time. That's why we talked earlier. I want to grab my hat and just start swinging it and nailing that person. Who, who? In my mind, he made a stupid decision, but we all make stupid decisions. Yeah, but that's how I reacted versus how you know, in this case, with Micah, versus how Micah reacted. And so it's this learning curve on on how we can, you know, develop ourself, but yet on how we can, you know, develop ourself.

Justin: 42:02

But yet you know he may have been more sad. He may have been more sad on how he could go through things, and you know so we all come from different places on this spectrum.

Rhett: 42:11

Yeah Well, like even as I'm looking at this in like a happy, for instance, I just thought, well, you're just happy. I didn't realize you could be happy because you feel valued, you feel respected, you feel respected, you feel confident, you feel successful, you feel proud, interested, You're content. I would have never known that type of intricate explanation that actually ties into happiness. That's good. I would have just thought happiness, like even surprised, you know that's a feeling and emotion. I would have never thought that feeling surprised, like a part of that, could be confused and not not, not maybe in a negative tone, but like, well, that's surprising. You know confusion, uh perplexed, uh astonished, all eager, energetic, like all of those are, you know, through the lens of being surprised, and I'm like wow there's a good surprise of excited and amazed, but then you get into you just confuse me, surprised.

Rhett: 43:05

Yeah, Like Whoa, you startled me.

Justin: 43:06

I don't like me I don't like the surprise birthday party.

Rhett: 43:09

I don't like being surprised. My wife hates it. You know what I mean. So, but that's that category. My son hates surprise.

Justin: 43:15

Yeah, it's like please don't surprise me. Tell me what you're getting. Yeah well, my oldest doesn't like surprises. He's like just tell me what you want to get me, I don't want to surprise.

Rhett: 43:24

It's like we had a surprise birthday party one time and, uh, some friends put it together for our son and and it it traumatized him like it was a view, like it was great, we had a good time, whatever, but like he was like I never want to do that and please don't ever put me through that again. Because he wants to prepared, he wants to know how his emotions could be prepared to walk into this situation and and and stuff. I'm like man, you know that's. I would have never thought that as cause. I'm like dude, bring surprises on.

Justin: 43:50

I love it. Man, let's go Like it's my love language.

Rhett: 43:53

Part of me like, ooh surprise, let's go on this adventure, you know. But like some people don't like that, you know, I'm like, wow, I can't understand that.

Justin: 43:59

But you know, my 30th birthday summer had arranged this surprise party at one of my buddy, brandon's, house. Well, brandon had already reached out to me and said hey, can we hang out? We, what me and some of my buddies would do is we'd build a fire pit like in the backyard and we just, like me and you do, we'll talk, we can go deep and talks. And he said I just need to process some things in life. Well, you know, if you talk to me that way, I'm there. Yeah, I just that is my wiring. I am like let's talk deep, man, come on. And so I'm making my way to get to his house. And then I get another call from um, one of my other buddies, and he calls and hey, you want to hang out tonight? And of course I'm glad I told him the truth.

Rhett: 44:43

Yeah, I was like hey, you're really glad you told him the truth, because you didn't know they were working in the system. I'm glad I didn't say like yeah, I got other things going on.

Justin: 44:52

I was like hey, um, yeah, I'm actually going to go hang out with my buddy Brandon. He's like oh, you are, are you? Yes, he's like, can I come? I'm like man, we just need to talk some stuff tonight. But next time that's so funny I'll pull up to the house and I'll walk in and it's like 50 people in that boat. You know Brandon, obviously his house, but then my other buddy, right?

Rhett: 45:17

there standing there. They were just monitoring to see where I'm at.

Justin: 45:20

Yeah, but me, I loved it. I loved it. I mean, we sat and watched you know, like I'm dating myself here a DVD of like some of art me and you, our old concerts, me, you and Micah, and I'm just loving it. And having the center of the tension, they do good old karaoke. Yeah, there's people that if you do that too, they're going to try to find a way to get out of that house quick. Oh yeah, I'm like how long is this party going to last?

Rhett: 45:46

You mentioned DVD and it took me back to a moment I had about a week ago so CDs, like man, do you remember? And I had this situation I was visiting a family member at the hospital and this family member wanted worship music playing on when they came out of surgery. And uh, and so my dad had this CD boom box player whatever, I don't even know what they call it anymore but like a radio, with like a, like a, like a compact that you hit the open button and the whole thing opens up on the top yeah and he had that the big uh magazine full of like discs, oh yeah.

Rhett: 46:32

and he was like what do you want to listen to? I'm like it has been years, bro, since. I'm like just pull up your phone and hit play, you know. And he's like what do you want to listen to? And I am literally, you know, going through the folders of like CDs that are all in their little slots and a bunch of these are from, like you know, back in the day when I was like 17, 18, 19 years old, A ton of Hillsong stuff. And I'm like I'm overwhelmed, I'm like I don't know, like Ron Canole stuff, like oh, whatever. But what's funny about this is that I'm like, okay, no big deal. But I take out the CD and I'm looking at this machine like how do I? I know how to operate this thing. But I'm literally having a moment going, okay, hold on, put it in, close the door. And I'm like, all right. Oh, then there's a side button on the side that chooses between radio, tape player and disc and I had to slide it over to disc and I'm like, all right, wait a minute.

Rhett: 47:29

And then I have to put a play button and then give it a second as I hear it spinning.

Justin: 47:37

And then all of a sudden, and then I hear it.

Rhett: 47:39

I'm like, oh, okay, I'm like God, I feel so ancient. Here I am trying to figure out how to like remind my brain how to use a CD player. Oh yeah, and I'm laughing at myself going I haven't, oh my gosh yeah Siri play this song. It'd be like throwing a telephone old school telephone, with you know, in front of my son and he'd be like what is this? How do you use this thing?

Justin: 48:01

What is this cord? Why is it?

Rhett: 48:02

coiled. Hey guys, red here Just want to take a moment and say thank you to every single one of you who have taken the time to follow us on social media. Now, if today is your first time to join us for an episode, man, we want to say welcome, friends, it's so good to have you with us. Could you take a moment look us up on instagram or facebook? You can find us there at armchair authentic, or you can go on over to x find us there as well, at armchair off pod. That's armchair off a? U-t-h. P-o-d. All right, now back to the conversation.

Justin: 48:38

Most people wouldn't even have a dvd player to play the dvd.

Rhett: 48:41

Think about how long it would take you to get a dvd player going. I mean, maybe you have one in your house.

Justin: 48:46

And I'm not trying to be offensive, but like we've kept one in our downstairs room just for the heck of it.

Rhett: 48:51

Well, is it a dvd player or is it a blu-ray player? Is it might be a blu-ray?

Justin: 48:58

well, you know, but it plays, yeah, it plays my normal, so maybe it is well, you need to come over and watch some it's, we got some dandy. Well, you, you think about the day you put the disc in you wait for a second.

Rhett: 49:08

It takes forever for the thing to pull up, but then you've got the menu yeah from the play and oh yeah, oh the by the same stuff. And then when you hit play and then you got to go through, some of them were designed where you got to go through all the credits before you even get to the or the, the pre-commercials of the, all the movies that are coming out, or whatever. There's some good, good old recordings. I'm just like apple play this and then it plays on my apple tv and there you go.

Rhett: 49:30

It's crazy I, it's so I was always the guy like I will never go all digital. I'll always own my stuff and always, you're always the cutting edge guys, not well, you always had the latest, I went through a season where I was like, no, I'm owning my own stuff, man, I'm not going to pay a service for 20 bucks a month.

Justin: 49:46

For the rest of my life I'll own it. And look at us, and here I am. I don't own anything Zero.

Rhett: 49:53

Nothing, it's all borrowed. Apple owns me yeah.

Justin: 49:57

And they're keeping all your pictures and they're keeping all the memory. You're going to have to get another terabyte one day, and it's just going to keep collecting until you're 80 and you're like it's digital garbage.

Rhett: 50:07

Everything is going yeah.

Justin: 50:09

To this.

Rhett: 50:09

My computer is so full right now I'm like you need to clean your computer. I'm like, well, all of this stuff's important. I can't get rid of all these videos off.

Justin: 50:16

Yeah, Well, you got to get a bigger computer. I have a um. I do have a one of my, one of my buddies. He's in ministry. He's in another state just uh, brandon, and he was telling me he had just um started like a sabbatical. It's really cool he's. He's going to be taking an extended sabbatical for you, brandon. I know, dude, it's.

Rhett: 50:38

Brandon, don't I.

Justin: 50:42

Oh, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah and um, but he was talking about how, oh, he was telling me some of his plans and I'm I'm thinking that sounds awesome yeah like I think he's gonna go see some major league games on the west coast good for you, dude and he's going to rent a car and drive like from san diego all the way up to seattle.

Rhett: 50:58

Oh, that's just take a few days. Convertible part of it, oh yeah, man, but but anyway, when he was uh talking about that he's gonna first All the way up to Seattle.

Justin: 51:01

Oh, that's fine and just take a few days Convertible, oh man. But anyway, when he was talking about that, he's going to first before he gets everything going, he's going to take about three days and go stay in this. No, he already did this.

Justin: 51:13

He went and stayed in this hotel for a few days in his town and his whole goal was I'm going to go through like a digital clean cleansing and his whole goal was I'm going to go through like a digital clean cleansing, like he's just going through all of his phones, all of his apps, getting rid of everything he doesn't use Stuff. We would think would be great, but he's using this time as like purposed. On this day. This is digital cleanup and I'm listening to him on the phone. It sounds amazing. It sounds great and I need to take a day.

Rhett: 51:40

I don't know if I'd be disciplined enough to go through all that and just do this, but how?

Justin: 51:44

good would that feel, just to get rid of all the stuff. But as far as like my photos and my phone, I mean there's like duplicates and 10. I'm not getting rid of those because I don't have time to go through them all, but there's coming a day where there's hundreds of thousands of photos that we'll never get rid of. We'll always pay a service. What happens when you die?

Rhett: 52:03

I guess they're gone as your service is done? I don't think so. I mean like, if you're, if, if you have an Apple ID, let's say you're speaking to iPhone or I don't know anybody.

Justin: 52:11

that's true, yeah, all the. Samsung galaxy, I don't care, I'm not changing, I'm not saying.

Rhett: 52:23

I've got too much. I've sold my soul to Apple at this point, yeah, me too. I keep seeing these things about cookies and I'm like, yeah, please, where are the cookies?

Justin: 52:27

yeah, accept, accept, accept.

Rhett: 52:28

But I still don't have a cookie. See, I always deny them. Oh man, I'm like accept all, accept all.

Justin: 52:33

I'm like deny, deny, deny. Do you want us to have your location? I'm like no, why do you call this a cookie man? It sounds good to me. I want some cookies. At some point the cookies are going to show up to have your location. I'm like no, why do you call this a cookie man? It sounds good to me. Yes, I want some cookies. I don't want a digital cookie digital cookie.

Rhett: 52:44

At some point the cookies are going to show up on my front door you keep saying yes.

Justin: 52:48

It's like do you want this I? Just have to track your location. No, no, everything to me is no, I'm no on those things like no, but I'll say yes at certain times.

Rhett: 52:59

yeah, I'm like I'm feeling somewhat only the things that are most important, but I'm like surely like when did we get to this? Can we just turn this off? We are captive.

Justin: 53:08

The matrix is real.

Rhett: 53:09

Like. Did you read all the licensing and all the fine print?

Justin: 53:13

No, yeah, you can't say no to that. I want this app. You can't say no to anything, and so you know they could have the audacity to say I give my kids away.

Rhett: 53:23

I mean yes, yeah, I did not know that. I agreed to that. I want this app. I don't want to read all this junk. Just give me the app, dang it.

Justin: 53:32

It's so true, yeah, there's so much. We're just so tied to, yeah, tied to. But I will say this when you mentioned happiness a while ago, yeah, there was a word that stood out when you talked about kind of that second level Inquisitive. No, it was actually when you said the word content, content, yeah, and it goes into a deeper layer there.

Justin: 53:54

And it says free and joyful. Yeah, and I love that, because, even as we're talking about the being tied down with these apps and these services, it does feel a little bit like you're just tangled up in all this stuff.

Rhett: 54:08

Yeah.

Justin: 54:09

And even in our life, all the stuff we take on, we're tangled up. Jump back on the snake If you don't get that release. It's like I'm kind of tangled up in that fear, the anger that we're talking about. It's like you're tangled up until that moment happens where the slap heard around the gym occurs and there's just something so um, uh, man, I love that. I'm so drawn to that free that when you see that free person, yeah, they're just. I'm glad you mentioned you know what I?

Justin: 54:39

mean they're free. They have done the work. They're not into all this competitiveness in an unhealthy way. You're dealing with someone and they are who they are in the best of ways. Who they are is the redeemed side. They are content in who they are and who God made them to be. And there's just something refreshing when you're sitting down with people. They're not staring at their phone because they've got so many other great places to be. You just happen to be the best one right now. They're not like attached to these strings. They truly are free to just engage in conversation.

Rhett: 55:17

to just engage in conversation, If you were to ask me how I feel today or in this season of life. That would be something that I would say I wouldn't have been able to feel that way a few years ago, not that God wasn't doing great things, but like where I was personally. But on this journey I would say man a plethora I love that word plethora a variable like variations of all these, but I try to make a conscious choice, to choose contentment every day.

Rhett: 55:51

And there's something freeing and joyful about it, even you know being real, as, even as we're having this conversation and talking like, hopefully, my hope is that you're getting um, um, a season of our life, or at least with me I'll speak for me and I feel like I'm speaking for you is that this podcast can even be, that that people can begin to maybe even experience some of our conversation in a way that comes from a place of contentment to where, yeah, man, like I'm grateful for our friends who listen, but whether or not people listen or not, it doesn't really matter.

Rhett: 56:25

We're still having this because this is who we are and we're having a good time.

Justin: 56:28

This gave us our why to this. Our goal is we speak this when we're encouraging people. We want to live it first. Yeah, to have a weekly time just to get with someone who is a very close person to you and just talk life. That's the benefit. Yeah, this is icing because we enjoy the microphone we do and we enjoy the craft like it's a hobby, like we enjoy to we in, I mean, with us. It's what we've always done.

Justin: 56:57

We did it as kids yeah I mean, and you put childish things away. But what I'm saying is, there's the wiring that you were packaged with. Yeah, since, since birth, like there were people who were putting together things because they wanted to be architects and engineers. That wasn't me, but what we loved was pressing record on a kiss on the, on the, on the what you were talking about a while ago.

Rhett: 57:18

There's a little recorder what do we call them? That would have been a play button and a play and record at the same time.

Justin: 57:24

Yeah, and we would record ourself and then have fun with it, but what this is, this is us getting to use the craft of recording radio, if you will, but we're having talks, and I always I will step away from here when I'm on my drive to wherever my next destination is. 100% of the time it was a worthwhile investment. There's the side if we can now say contentment when I'm not walking in that, though, I will have to go through my analyzing self, like if, let's say, I felt like I didn't perform the right way on our podcast and talk and maybe say some of the right things. Sometimes I recognize I'm just charged up and I might be on my car ride home thinking.

Justin: 58:17

I don't even know how great that was. I don't even know I could have brought something better.

Rhett: 58:22

Really, but that's the performance side. Yeah.

Justin: 58:24

And the funny thing is it's actually not true. Yeah, it's all this invisible. We've said it before. Who is they?

Rhett: 58:31

Who is?

Justin: 58:32

they, they, who is that unrealistic, unachieving? They that we put in our minds. So there's this. They that I'm not content, I didn't perform right for yeah, and that's all a lie. And so what you do in your maturing process or the big word maturation process, but in this process is learning.

Justin: 58:55

It's not bad to get charged up, but it's learning to respond different. So when I'm playing basketball, it's not bad that I can get charged up. It's a, it's a sign, it's a signal. But when I get charged up, ready to hit somebody in the head with the ball, it's now the reaction of realizing this feeling. I'm feeling is real and it's coming from somewhere. But I'm not going to react on this because I'll be reacting on something I'm going to regret for a long time. In the same way with this, when I'm charged up, once I let it subside. I've learned now just to put on an audio book, put on some music, maybe call, get on the phone with a friend. 30 minutes later I'm chill and I'm feeling great and I can't wait for it.

Justin: 59:42

So it's interesting how our mind operates. I'm not happy when I'm charged up like that. I'm in a mode of a pretender. I'm in the mode of trying to perform for something that I feel unworthy of. Now we're getting to some of that other category. I might feel unworthy, that I have to do something to achieve a worthiness. Those are just thoughts that are hitting our head. That it it might. There are real feelings, but it's not true. They're not true statements and they're not true declarations.

Justin: 1:00:16

Yeah, and part of our maturing process is learning to understand. The charged up might not always go away, but it's learning how to be like Teflon, where, when that feeling of anger or that feeling of sadness or that feeling of exclusion or that feeling of not maybe achieving what that early year projection said I should go achieve this. It wasn't something God said to achieve said I should go achieve this. It wasn't something God said to achieve. But it's this early projection saying go achieve this, and now I'm not, and now I might be a little excluded or feeling like I missed out.

Justin: 1:00:51

Those are charged up reactions. That's being reactionary to something. That is the proverbial they. It has nothing to do with what really matters, which is where is god in this and what does god say about your life right now? And and and staying true truly to your authentic god-shaping self. Because we are all in process, yeah, and so even to simply have this, this dialogue, in our podcast with each other. That's why, at the end of the day, I'll always walk away saying that was a good investment If I feel like I performed for it. Yeah, those are the ones that you can ever listen, if you ever listened to an old something and you think oh, I remember my mindset in that moment.

Rhett: 1:01:40

Nobody else knows those, only you know it, and you're like that was spoken.

Justin: 1:01:46

I shifted out of my contentment there. That was me speaking out of a fearful statement. That was me turning into like pretender or turning into I'm nervous for a reason, because I'm fearful. So I'm trying to create a shadow happiness, a false humility, the opposite of true joy and true contentment and true curiosity. Interested, like when you're happy. That's another one that talks about you're interested. Like you're curious, you're inquisitive. Well, my shadow side of happiness is like I've got it all together and I'm not very curious, I don't ask any questions, I want to be the one who already knew everything, and that's arrogance and that's pride. And we'll end up addressing more of that on our maturing process on next week's episode. But yeah, man Red, I appreciate you pulling out that emotional will there.

Justin: 1:02:39

I wasn't planning on it. We deal with it.

Rhett: 1:02:41

You know, I think this is the beauty of our conversations we really honestly have no idea where they're going.

Justin: 1:02:46

We kind of go this is all overflow it really is.

Rhett: 1:02:50

And so I meant what I was saying like this is therapy for me, like our listeners are having an opportunity to go on a journey, if anything, just you know, at my expense. To go on a journey, if anything, just you know, at my expense. But even some of the things you were sharing, like it's therapy for you too. I mean just being vulnerable and talking through some of these things and I hope people understand we're on a journey where we have not arrived, and I love the opportunity that we have to just steward our conversations in a way that hopefully encourage people to realize hey, you're not weird, you're not alone. Like you're not broken, you're human, you're going through the same stuff. We are, you know, um, and we're all on this journey together. So I'm, um. I did think about one thing about this will.

Rhett: 1:03:32

I always thought it would be like there's a positive end of emotion and a negative end, meaning like I need to be living on one side and not the other, but like it's okay to be angry, but in your anger, don't sin, that's right, right. So like it's not saying you don't need to live on one half or the other. I always thought I got to always live on the happy, joy, joy, joy side, and then it's a sin for me to be fearful, it's a sin for me to be angry, it's a sin for me to be disgusted, but no, god, like in his righteousness, has a righteous anger. Right, that's right, and there are healthy things to fear. There are things we do need to be disgusted with as well.

Rhett: 1:04:11

So I hope, as you're listening to this and I'm reminding myself, that these emotions aren't negative emotions, like they're there to help us process in a healthy way yes, right the things we need to process in a righteous and healthy way. So, even being sad, that's not a negative thing. We need to process the sadness like you're not broken. Just because you're feeling sad right now and not happy it's, you're not less than for feeling these emotions like you're human. Yes, and so I just, at least for me, reminding myself and maybe trying to encourage somebody on the other end of this thing is that the goal isn't happy. The goal is humanity, it's being human and it's processing all these things together in a healthy way that speaks to our humanity, which ultimately, is being sanctified as a follower of Christ, you know, in the fruits of the Spirit and the love of God in our life, making us more like Christ, and Christ experienced every one of these emotions.

Justin: 1:05:11

Yeah, I love how you brought the clarity of that that right there, from happy, surprised, bad, fearful, angry, disgusted, sad. You just highlighted the book of Psalms.

Rhett: 1:05:23

Yeah.

Justin: 1:05:25

It is complete on its own. We encourage all of our listeners yes, make that like a daily part, try it.

Rhett: 1:05:32

Yeah, try making that part of your daily regimen, if you've never read the Bible and you're hearing read the book of Psalms, that can sound very overwhelming, and so what's interesting about the book of Psalms is that they're just really short little snippets of prayers and feelings and emotions. So, like you could really, there's like I don't know how many are there. There are 150. Yeah, so there's 150 of these little short little clippings, you know, so you could read Psalm one and read it in 30 seconds, it's true, and there's so much truth in that 30 seconds. So so somebody who's listening, who who may have never opened the book of the Bible up and you begin to read this, just know it's not overwhelming, it's, it's something that is very manageable and you can read, you know, a chapter in 30 seconds, absolutely, you know, and so that's encouraging to me.

Justin: 1:06:20

It is encouraging. I love it. I love it because I'm that type of person I'm like I can read in 30 seconds For our quick people who want the quick read. And the encouraging thing is, if you're wired where you just want to let it just marinate, you can take a three verse psalm and just dig into it and have a full meal, matter of fact. Next episode we're going to break down one of the Psalms for you and how applicable it is to our life. Yeah, that's a big word.

Rhett: 1:06:49

How applicable? Applicable applicable, applicable. I love messing with you on these. It's so fun. Hey friends, thank you so much for joining us on today's conversation. We cannot wait until our next episode that drops next Monday. So until then, we hope you have a great day, stay safe and we will see you soon right here with your friends Red and Justin at Armchair. Authentic Thank you.