Armchair Authentic

E76 | You’re Not Broken, You’re Becoming: The Power of Inner Work – Part 1

Rhett and Justin Episode 76

After 75 episodes of honest conversation, Rhett and Justin go even deeper—exploring the subtle ways we hide, the pressures that keep us there, and the slow, courageous journey toward becoming whole.

Fueled by four shots of espresso and a good dose of laughter, the episode opens with stories of jittery hands, HOA headaches, and the oddly satisfying joys of pressure washing. But soon, the conversation shifts to something more profound.

They reflect on what it means to lead worship alongside their teenage sons at the same church where their own faith journeys began. That full-circle moment leads to a powerful metaphor: Rhett’s decision to repair his digital piano instead of replacing it—a simple choice that reveals something deeper about our tendency to discard rather than do the inner work.

This is Part 1 of a two-part exploration of identity, vulnerability, and healing. If you’ve ever felt the pressure to appear more “put-together” than you really are, this one’s for you.

And hey—let’s keep the conversation going. Shoot us a DM or drop a comment anytime.

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Track Title: Brooklyn Bridge | Artist Name(s): Lunareh | Lifetime License Granted Via Soundstripe

Rhett:

Imagine a world where every conversation feels like a genuine connection with authentic people, a place where you truly feel like you belong and where everyone's got a seat at the table. Welcome to Armchair Authentic. Okay, justin, I want to start off by saying something this morning that I was thinking about. Yeah, and I want to build this a little slowly, and then I'm going to jump right to it, but it might sound a little weird when I say this out loud.

Rhett:

And it might be something we have to go back and edit and just take it out.

Justin:

I don't know. I'm trying not to edit anymore.

Rhett:

But I have a new love and let me rephrase it Detail my body has a new love. Now, I know that's a little weird, little cryptic. Don't let your minds go into the deep end of places. It shouldn't. Well, but now it might be. But I have a new love and my body has a new love and a new craving. Okay, it's on the, it's off, it's on the side of. This could get unhealthy quick. Okay, I have. I have fallen in love, or let me rephrase, my body has fallen in love with these Venti iced brown sugar, oat milk, shaken espressos from Starbucks.

Justin:

Okay, that sounds really good. Oh my gosh, is that what you?

Rhett:

were just drinking. Could it have any longer of a name? Excuse me, I've got something in my throat this morning. When I order this, first of all, I sound really fancy. I'll take a venti ice, brown sugar, oat milk shake and espresso, please. Okay, so normally I am your vanilla latte, like hot.

Justin:

That's the red standard it is.

Rhett:

However, the other day it was hot outside and I looked at the menu and it brown sugar. Who doesn't like brown sugar? I mean, come on If you don't like brown sugar. Now, first of all, let me go back a year ago, almost to this month Well, not this month, june. I stopped drinking sodas completely like yeah, I've. I've tasted um a little bit every once in a while just to see if I still like you like it, you've dabbled and it's so syrupy and it's gross at this point, so I'm just straight water.

Rhett:

I do understand that I'll drink occasionally tea, but so I don't get a lot of sugar from drinks, is what I'm saying. Yeah, so when I saw brown sugar, it was hot outside I was like, why not, let me try it, and I am not a cold coffee drinker. Yeah, same. For a very long time I was like nasty, disgusting you like that? Nasty, nasty.

Justin:

I didn't Nasty disgusting you like that Nasty Nasty, even if I said that it sounded bad.

Rhett:

Yeah, I've had this, just disgusting like I would like. Coffee is supposed to be hot Hands down.

Justin:

Yeah, I think it's best that way, so but let me, let me.

Rhett:

Let me say it this way so with our men's small group last semester, we would take a group of guys 10 of us, sometimes 15, depending on the day. Oh yeah, we're at Starbucks. The baristas would come out and they'd give us these little shot glasses of, like cold shaken espresso. Yeah, I loved how they did that. It's just enough to kind of get your taste bud going. Well, it's not as bad as I remember it's true.

Rhett:

And so they slowly integrated me with these shot glasses. We're on to you, Starbucks. Your integrated me with these shot glasses.

Rhett:

We're onto you at Starbucks, your methods are working and all of a sudden, I drink this Venti ice, brown sugar, oat milk shake and espresso. Right, I have to say the whole thing out there and I start feeling like I am flying on this, like I'm going from earth to heaven real quick and I, and I don't know why, I'm like God, I feel so good and, by the way, I drank one of these in about a minute. It was gone.

Justin:

You can hear the ice shaking right. They wrote you a little note too. What did they write to you? What was?

Rhett:

their note. Keep it cool.

Justin:

That's my buddy JC. Keep it cool. Shout out to.

Rhett:

JC. So all this to say yeah, venti, I looked it up and again, I'm normally your two-shot guy. That comes in a normal grande cup of espresso. Whatever, this sucker's got four shots of espresso. As I say that my eyes are like as wide as sand dollars right now and Venti probably six pumps of the syrup.

Rhett:

Oh my gosh, yeah. So my apologies. I don't know where this conversation is going to go today, but I literally just chugged one of these and it's cold, so you feel like you can drink it quick, where normally I would take a normal coffee and just sip on it for, you know, an hour, like I'm doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I literally chug this thing.

Justin:

No, no, no, mom. By the way, I was literally two cars in front of you and yours says keep it cool, Mine says Justin.

Rhett:

Well, your name is written pretty cool. It is Justin, yeah.

Justin:

No, I mean you being excited. If coffee excites you, you're normally very excited. Yeah, on our, on our podcast anyway. Yeah, maybe I need to drink that and then I may be a little more.

Rhett:

Let's test this a little bit yeah, that way, when I edit, I'll say well I need to talk more like this.

Rhett:

Hey, maybe I need to walk the iced coffee, maybe I need the brown sugar iced coffee well, if I could say one thing it's amazing how your taste buds can change, because now I'm craving, because I started at saying my, I have a. My body has a new love. Yeah, and it really does. Yeah, I have introduced it to something that I feel like I'm on the edge of this becoming an addiction. Now, the problem is it's like a seven dollar drink, yeah, and I don't get it every day. So, for those who are already judging me, whatever right, but like my taste buds right now. But like my taste buds right now, my taste buds right now want another one I could literally go grab another one and drink it and be like eight shots in.

Rhett:

Yeah, and that would be scary, that would be really messed up for me at eight shots because I'm experiencing four shots and I'm like, Ooh, I guess this is what Mountain Dew and Red Bull guys feel.

Justin:

I guess yeah, cause we're what Mountain Dew and Red Bull guys feel. We're not really energy drink people. No, at least I've never had an energy drink in my life, so I don't know what it would do to me. So maybe this is your version of an energy drink and you're going to be strong for a minute and in a little while it's just going to be quiet. It's going to be like for a minute and in a little while it's just going to be quiet. It's going to be like that scene a father of the bride with the camera. He just took the pill, sleeping pill, like two of them. The camera shots on him saying would you pass the bread? And the camera goes to the son, yeah. And when he hands it back, the camera goes back to Steve Martin and he's passed out. Yeah, that's going to be you.

Rhett:

So yeah, so the good part of it it'll wake you up quick and you'll be have energy for days and you know I'll do the dishes, mop the floors, vacuum dust take a piano, take the trash out, take the piano apart. Literally yesterday I was working on the piano, I was working on my car, I was learning, I was on YouTube. I was, although I was just getting some stuff done.

Justin:

That's what you lacked as a child. You lacked milk yeah, that's it. Lattes yeah, Well, you know that's what it was. I don't think I needed that, naturally so we may have been more tinkers with all these pianos and keyboards and taking things apart and being tools, and you'd be like this engineer it's the excited engineer.

Rhett:

Oh, can we, can we speak to the elephant that was in the room of the last episode of the podcast with J Ray? Yeah, what was the elephant? The elephant in the room for that episode? I think I know where you're going. How many times can we say that the brother was phenomenal, or?

Justin:

how much can we use the word in general? It wasn't just on him, I mean. We use the word phenomenal general. It wasn't just on him, I mean. Oh my gosh, we used the word phenomenal, I was like.

Rhett:

Do we not have a deeper depth of our dictionary of adjectives that we could use? Incredible, amazing, you know, astounding Phenomenal, that was the word of the day.

Justin:

That's where we needed the button to press it, because you were saying it.

Rhett:

I was saying it, john ross was saying it by the end of it. I led the way with that and all of a sudden it was like what?

Justin:

because we we gave so many, like we were dropping so many names and complimenting people, so it's like man john larson phenomenal guy lu Vogel, he's a phenomenal guy. John Mark Durrett. Phenomenal, phenomenal drummer Curry Vickery.

Rhett:

Phenomenal bass player.

Justin:

We have hung out with some phenomenal people in our life.

Rhett:

Relationships are just simply phenomenal Everything was phenomenal. The word. Just by the end of that episode I was like what in the world?

Justin:

It was no longer a compliment.

Rhett:

It was like can we? Uh, hey guys, get it, we're phenomenal all right.

Justin:

Yeah, like the cottage cheese this morning was phenomenal. So it's like well, so are y'all saying I am good or I'm not, because that's very average stuff. But yeah I was, I was. My routine is the day that I'll edit, I'll go ahead and send you everything so that you can begin getting socials ready. Yeah, but then I like to listen to it from our Dropbox account.

Rhett:

Okay.

Justin:

You know my little theory and it's not a theory. I just my style is. I don't like doing it on our platform to get a download. Listen.

Rhett:

Yeah, that's the one thing we don't like about the platform that we use.

Justin:

Yeah, because I like just not counting it towards it, I just like listening to it on my own.

Rhett:

Anyway, it's just For inquiring minds that want to know we won't hold Like Buzzsprout, we use Buzzsprout.

Justin:

And that's a great platform.

Rhett:

But anytime you listen to your own episode to go back and tweak or whatever, it counts it as a listen and, by the way, we don't include that in our numbers no, that's right that we don't ever share.

Justin:

yeah, we don't ever share them, but still, I don't like to even add like to that. Yeah, so I'll go to the drop box. So my deal is I'll try to find a day and I'll listen to the episode, and the way I do it is, once I've edited it and I'm actually listening to it, I'll go for a walk. I talked about botanical gardens a million times Phenomenal, phenomenal place, or my neighborhood. I'll just walk and I'll listen. Yeah, and I mean once we said like phenomenal six times we can no longer use that word.

Justin:

I was like I hope we don't use this word too much more, and every time I'd be like, oh, oh, yeah, so go back If you didn't listen to last week's episode with our friend J Ray go back and listen to it, because it was phenomenal.

Rhett:

We might as well have just, you know, titled that episode a conversation with John Ross.

Justin:

Phenomenal we really could have. Okay, moving on, I remember texting you that morning. After I listened to it through, I was like, by the way, after the seventh time I just laughed every time we would say yeah, because you sent me a text. The word phenomenal.

Rhett:

You sent me that text and on that text I was like, by the way you know, I was like okay, and then I listened. I was like okay, and then I listened. I was like, oh my gosh, I would have totally picked that up without you telling me that.

Justin:

But yeah, it was.

Rhett:

Yeah, so great, great to call the elephant in the room, but it was a great conversation having our friend in the room.

Justin:

So, yeah, look forward to more of those coming up, yeah.

Rhett:

I was going to say more conversations with J Ray in the future for sure, as well as all our friends All of our friends, no doubt. So you mentioned me working on my keyboard, and so that's a digital piano. The reason I'm working on it is because something exciting that, by the time you listen to this, has already passed, and the expectation that we have, based off a rehearsal, is that our sons are going to be a part of leading worship with us at Parkway Christian Fellowship.

Justin:

Which, if you're listening on the day one of this release, we would have just done this Yesterday Yesterday, so we don't know how it's going.

Rhett:

So Lord willing everything, kids stay healthy everything that, but all I can speak of in the moment is that we made preparations. My son playing bass, Max Yep Dax on Dax on.

Justin:

He's a drummer, but he's using more of the box drum cajon Me on keyboard and you on acoustic.

Rhett:

And us sharing just an opportunity to lead worship at our home church, and what's really cool is this just as friends. I mean, we're doing this on the same platform. You and I got our first opportunity by David Berry, so crazy how that worked out, I mean dude, we could not, we couldn't plan this no.

Justin:

Well, it's funny because you wouldn't normally be in this room for a service. No, but as we've talked before, they passed the baton Pastor Randy did to Pastor Ron. Yeah, and the building is. I mean, it's an older building, it's been around for a while. At one point the air conditioning kind of went down and they're in that process of repairing it. But in the meantime the new pastor, who's really kind of relaunching everything, bringing fresh vibrancy into that community. They shifted back to what used to be our youth room and they've put a lot of work into it. I think that they're actually enjoying it because it gives a better feel for the room, much smaller.

Justin:

Yeah, man it's great, and that way you always have vision to build it, to go back in the other room. But what's great is when they were talking about doing a reunion and having us back to lead worship in the room, he was like, hey, the only thing is you'll actually be in the chapel room, which excites us. Oh, I think he thought I might be like oh man, but I got excited.

Rhett:

I was like you just confirmed, all the more. Me and Rhett are probably going to say yes to this.

Justin:

Yes, Because it is. That was the first stage in 1993. We were on and to have and it organically happened as we did it, that our sons actually I mean they've been practicing their instruments, and I forget what tied them into doing it.

Rhett:

I can't remember if I asked, if you asked or if they just brought it up 32 years to the day.

Justin:

Almost, yes, it'll be almost 32 years to the day of really of me surrendering my life to Christ yeah.

Justin:

A week later, you doing it and then us beginning to start this process of writing music and, um, yeah, so we're, we're super, we're yeah, so so we're listening back right now, after it's been released, knowing how this goes. So, hey guys, I'm sure it was a good job. It was good to see everybody yesterday, right, but uh, that's future self talking. See everybody yesterday, right, but that's future self-talking, but right now we don't know how it's going to go. But we're excited because we had you guys over to the house to have some dinner. We grilled some chicken together.

Rhett:

Three years in the making Well longer than that.

Justin:

It's been in the making for a while and then letting the family swim, playing some of the games which we can talk about in a little while. But but then we had a late night rehearsal and that was so cool.

Rhett:

It was yeah. I mean, I don't know if there's words that can express how incredibly out of body experience it is to actually, as a father, get to make music with your son or your kid in worship and on the platform, where their first opportunity yeah, yeah, really yeah, playing together. I don't know about Dax, but Max has never had an opportunity on a platform and I told him I was like, bro, we're not going to put you in a position to fail, like if I, if we don't think you're ready, we're not going to put you up there.

Rhett:

Yeah, there was no commitment no commitment like really low, let's just have fun and he picked it up quick and, yeah, he's totally enjoyed it and so in Dax and just keeping rhythm and ebb and flow of music, with no metronome and us staying together, and I know that's just fun man we found ourselves. Rhett looking at each other, just kind of like winking at each other, smiling, thinking.

Justin:

This actually sounds really good.

Rhett:

I mean, that's what was cool. It wasn't bad, you know, and I'm sitting there going okay. So all that to say.

Justin:

By the way, did y'all note that I actually said it was really good and it wasn't bad?

Rhett:

Oh, did I say that?

Justin:

I'm sorry. So which one was it? My mind was transitioning to another thought. We were in a flow and I'm telling you, I know music and we were doing some cool stuff in that room.

Rhett:

I wouldn't say phenomenal, because that would just be standardizing, based on how many times we've used the word, but I'll tell you.

Justin:

I guess my expectation. I just didn't know what to expect and when we were singing these songs together it was so awesome to me as well. So this, yeah, this is we've done stuff with, as I've said before, the school that my two youngest go to, where I've committed to them to really lead worship every week for them the entire school year and I just signed on to do another year. I say signed, you know that was air quotes all the way but just agreed to come and do it again, committed. From time to time we'll have special services where the parents come in and I've had Dax come and play with me.

Justin:

We've gone to some nursing home, did some stuff there, but like in a church service, this will be. This will be the first. That's cool and so I'm really excited and it was fun talking. You know we won't get into details, but we were kind of going. We would have some of the which I said was really good. We would have some of these moments where it would sound really good, yeah, and we would all find ourselves us for kind of that band vibe you get or we're smiling at each other and I remember stopping the song in the middle, do you remember this?

Justin:

And I said, hey, hold on one second. Guys, let me give you a quick coaching moment because I felt it when we did this part. It was so emotional and I know different places you go to. People react emotionally in a different way and it's a beautiful expression of people getting excited and you can see that where we go to church. Maybe as I'm talking and you're listening, you have churches you go to and you understand it might be the right arm over the left arm and there's not really a physical emotion, but God could be doing some amazing things in their heart. Well, we just know where we came from and we don't we haven't been to really a service in a long time.

Justin:

But I stopped him right there and I said, hey guys, real quick, that was really good, there's a chance if something like that happens, yeah, be ready.

Justin:

If someone were to jump up and just start like screaming hallelujah or rejoicing, rejoicing yeah, taking their jacket off and just kind of, you know, clapping their hands and just saying, just be ready, like don't let it throw you for a loop, because what's happening is a good thing, yeah, but you've got to stay locked in because if you get excited with them, that song that's about 78 bpm, is going to be about 98 we're like, oh my god, we did.

Justin:

Yeah, the song shouldn't be saying that song that fast, you know, but you get excited, you gotta learn to kind of stay in the pocket, and that was even giving that lesson was so fun, yeah, that we're even in this position to say all that to say yesterday. I'm sure it was great, but in this moment, right now, we're excited for what's we are.

Rhett:

We are definitely excited and to that the reason the piano I even mentioned the digital piano is because when I was rehearsing with max, I realized that the sustain pedal was no longer working and I thought it was a sustain pedal and I was like so I threw it away and then I bought a new one. Guess what? The new one doesn't work and I'm like okay, I threw away a perfectly good sustain pedal, dang it. And I realized something internally stopped working.

Justin:

Reality is, I threw away two I had a crappy little Yamaha, little square one that I would never use. Yeah.

Rhett:

Did you?

Justin:

have the good one that actually had the metal. Yeah, I threw that one away. Yeah, I threw that one away.

Rhett:

So good, so I've learned, learned a couple of lessons Don't throw your accessories away until you really troubleshoot a little bit more.

Justin:

I was just frustrated. I was like ah, threw in the trash.

Rhett:

Yeah, b Bought a new one.

Rhett:

New one came in, plugged it in. Nope, doesn't work. I'm like, yeah, so the digital piano. Back a few episodes ago when we had lightning storm come through and kind of zap the house, it took out the plug for the digital piano and then I was like, all right, replace the plug and it works again, and so. But I didn't test the sustain pedal that day, so something went in. Anyway, I took the piano apart. You were calling me Donatello earlier when we came in and referenced the Ninja Turtles in 35 years.

Rhett:

Come on, yeah, that was your guy yeah, and I told you I was like, you know, I would have never done this when I was younger, but something different when you're older. I think it's stewardship. Let me see, I don't want to go out and spend $600 on a piano. If I can on a piano, if I can remove a few screws and take it apart and see if I can just replace that one thing.

Rhett:

So looked it up. Youtube University. I've got a part on order because you came in. You're like dude, what are you doing with your piano? It's upside down on the table. It screws off Speaking of the engineer of.

Justin:

January from last episode.

Rhett:

I do not consider myself an engineer but I am like, oh well, there's a couple of screws. Like, if it's easy enough, if it's screws and a couple of cables, I'm good, but when it comes to soldering and all that other stuff, forget it. And I was like golly, this is pretty simple. So I bought a new board, a little computer board $50, tax and shipping and it should arrive this week and hopefully I'll have me an up and running piano. If not, guess what? Yeah, baby's going on a you know Facebook marketplace, yeah.

Justin:

With an advertisement that says sustain pedal, it works without the sustain pedal.

Rhett:

Yeah, because it still plays, but it sounds really choppy.

Justin:

It's like yeah, you can't sustain yeah.

Rhett:

And I'm like, oh yeah, it's so horrible yeah.

Justin:

I hate it. You sound very Asian. Yeah yeah, you're like well, I wanted, I wasn't gonna go there.

Rhett:

I'm not trying to be I wanted a fortune cookie come on man.

Justin:

I mean, why don't you go to that sound? I'm shaking my because that is a very their culture is very staccato on the like on the instrumentation, yeah, yeah it's all the black notes.

Rhett:

Yeah, yeah, exactly which. By the way, if you've never played piano, go play the black keys. The black notes. Yeah, exactly which. By the way, if you've never played piano, go play the black keys. Just play the black keys only You'll feel awesome. You'll be like I'm a culture center. I'm a kind Anyway.

Justin:

I was not trying to be culturally insensitive by any stretch of the imagination. I know your heart.

Rhett:

I mean so okay, let's just be very clear, that's just the creativeness that came out and it probably yeah, okay, we'll go back.

Justin:

You could easily uh, sounded out a one, five, six, four, progression, very american, modern with the ink or the.

Rhett:

How about that? Is that better? So you got sustained in there, though that with or without you like, by you too, and it would have sounded more modern.

Justin:

But you went cultural you know, done, done, done you're still adding way too much sustain in there.

Rhett:

I guess, well, if you hold your hands, on the piano if you keep your fingers there, right? Yeah, well, done done okay, we gotta keep moving on okay, so hoas are of the devil, but do we really say this? Hoas are the devil I love and have a love-hate relationship with HOAs. If you are a homeowner and you live in an HOA subdivision, I'm done with it. I'm done with it. I'm just done with it.

Justin:

You're going to not pay attention to it anymore. You're done with it. So you're not adhering to the guidelines anymore.

Rhett:

No, well, what I can't stand is I think I do a pretty good job.

Justin:

Yeah, you do. You got a great line. Take care of your house. Pressure washed.

Rhett:

And so we get an email. The other day my wife was like, did you get the same email I got? I was like, uh, no, I didn't. And she was like, well, they sent us an email and gave us 30 days on fixing, uh, some of the okay. So on the right side of my house and on the left of the front facing there are two flower beds. Yeah, On the left side of the house front facing there's a sidewalk, so there's a natural barrier between the grass and the landscaping, which is the sidewalk, so grass can't grow up in a weeds can. So you pull the weeds out. Right side of the house. Um, whoever installed the landscaping did not put in one of those like plastic barriers and I say a barrier, more like a, just kind of like create a dividing line between the grass and the landscape, and so grass constantly tries to grow up in there and you have to, you know.

Rhett:

You pull it out, you spray it, but I mean it's bermuda grass, so it's just sprawling in into the flower bed and so they're like um, there's some grass in your flower bed that needs to be removed. You have 30 days to do it without a fine or whatever. And I'm like have y'all looked at everybody else's homes in this neighborhood? You're complaining about a little bit of grass. I mean, I can tell you no offense to my neighbors who might be listening to this podcast.

Rhett:

But I'm like there's some, you know, there's some stuff and so, while I appreciate everybody trying to work together, I had this thought. I was like you know, can you find something good to add what we're doing right, In addition to what you're pointing out that we're doing wrong?

Justin:

Yeah.

Rhett:

How about we appreciate you pressure washing your driveway?

Justin:

Your driveway looks number one compared to anybody in this neighborhood. Yeah, your grass is green. There's no weeds in it.

Rhett:

Wow, way to go, you know.

Justin:

Thanks for parking on the parking pad.

Rhett:

Yeah, like I mean you're doing great. Oh, this is a little area over here and I was starting to think about my personality. I was like I can't stand this nitpicking this one before.

Rhett:

You corrected me I know I want you, I want we connect relationally. And then I started thinking through this lens of, okay, what if HOAs actually took that you know like, hey, you're doing this good? And then I drove around the neighborhood and I was like God, I'm having a hard time finding what anybody's doing good on this one, that'd be difficult for me too.

Justin:

You know, someone's got a lot of time. If they could pick yours apart with everybody else.

Rhett:

That's what I'm saying, yeah.

Justin:

Anyways. So um yeah, so you're done with HOAs.

Rhett:

So, based on that, you're going to ignore them.

Justin:

No, no, 30 days expire, and so you take that no.

Rhett:

I didn't say that, no, but I was just like, uh, what's crazy is over a month ago, that was a part of the project and so while my son does landscaping, he really only does grass, like cutting grass. Yeah, he can't stand and I don't. I get it. He hates it. I hate it too, but it is just what it is. And I was like, bro, I need you to do this and take care of that. And it wasn't. And now the letter and whatever.

Justin:

Yeah, yeah, those are tough, our neighborhood.

Rhett:

Do you have an HOA?

Justin:

We do, but it's not. It's hard to explain because we live in a neighborhood called Meadowbrook. It's been around for a while.

Rhett:

Yeah.

Justin:

People take great care of their lawns, but there's not like there's not really anybody that's going around saying, hey, you know, fix this. But then again we, the moment we moved in, we did a major rental on the house, so we've made our house like the yard looks great, but we haven't heard anything. The only thing that I've done is there's a we have like an acre lot and which means it goes back. We, we have extra space, space that we're probably not ever going to use, but it's very wide too. So you have my house, you have my parking pad, but then you have a whole other area that goes probably another 30 feet and we've kept the trees and the woods there, so it just has that vibe.

Justin:

But there's a place that, just for convenience sake, I'll pull my car on my little truck. I have the SUV, I'll pull my. What do I have? A Chevy Suburban. I have the SUV, I'll pull my. What do I have? A Chevy Suburban. I have like an oh five Suburban and a rot. Drive it until it's done. I'll park it on this little grass spot. It's like a parking pad. I've turned it into it Cause there's no more grass.

Rhett:

Grass won't grow there anyway because it's. Bermuda grass under a tree which is shaded all day, and it won't grow, so you're going to have to plant a different kind of grass, and I parked there.

Justin:

Yeah, I've never had anybody say something to me, but what I noticed is when I pull into the neighborhood and people are parked up on their spaces like that, I'm like they need to move their cars.

Rhett:

I'm so hypocritical, it's hypocritical.

Justin:

They need to move their cars. That just looks awful. But I have this extra space that I justify it because I'm not like in front of my house.

Rhett:

Well, there's no house next to you, it's a forest. If there was a house sitting there, it'd look a little jank. I'd be like bro, I appreciate what you're trying to do.

Justin:

But yeah, but it is a bit hypocritical because I'm like man, I need to move their cars. Man, that just looks, oh, that looks so distasteful, as tasteful as I'm driving up on mine when me and Summer are in her car.

Rhett:

Because you're really up on the curb at this point about a 10 by 15 foot area.

Justin:

There's a long game plan there because Dak's being 16, now Kai's 14. We're going to have four boys in the next so many years driving If we're in that house. The great thing is we have space where we can tear down just some brush. We can knock down some trees and create like some is that part of your?

Rhett:

is that your property? Though? That piece right there, that is your property. Oh yeah, it goes way down yeah, well, you're good.

Justin:

I mean, bro, we've got, we've got plans what you do eventually okay, we're gonna put parking on the other side of that where you have trees there. Yeah, and then that's gonna be we to plant that, get rid of the trees that would block the sun and make it look kind of very, you know, like a almost like a ranch kind of vibe. Where you come in there might be a little wooden.

Rhett:

Send an email to your HOA to be sure you get permission. Hey, friends, just want to take a moment and say if you are enjoying today's conversation. Could you do us a huge favor? Would you take a moment and copy the link from your favorite podcast platform and share it with a friend? Email it to a friend. How about airdropping it over to your buddy or your sister right now? Man, that would mean so much to us. Thank you, all right guys. Back to the conversation.

Justin:

Here's what I can't tell you. This is what I.

Rhett:

The fact that I feel like I own a house is ridiculous, because once you realize you really don't own your house because if you pay, once you pay it off, if you don't pay your property taxes, it's a whole nother conversation. I'm not trying to get political here, but I was looking into some stuff. I was like you really don't own what you think you own, Cause it's like once you pay it off, guess what? If you don't pay your property taxes, guess who's going to come and take that land away that you spent 30 years paying for whatever, they're going to take it from you because you really don't own it, Right. And so, and in addition to that, there are so many codes and regulations on it. Cause I was looking at some property here in the Moody Alabama area for some dreaming about whatever and I was like, huh, I wonder if I could do that on that piece of property.

Justin:

Yeah.

Rhett:

And I was like nope can't unless you go before the board and tell them what you're trying to do to see if they'll vote on allowing a change to that piece of property.

Justin:

Yeah.

Rhett:

Cause it's like well, this is only geared for this, whether it be agriculture, and you can only have one house here. You can't have income thing on here. You can do this here. This is for business, only you. And I'm like what happened to the days in my mind I thought I could go buy land and do whatever I want to do with a piece of property. It doesn't.

Rhett:

It's almost like I'm like come on, yeah, yeah, and so you know it's so frustrating because I'm like I've yeah, yeah, and so you know yeah it's so frustrating because I'm like I've got this idea in this dream and I think this should be great and I could do this on this, and nope. And I'm like, oh, and then you got to go through all these hoops and I'm like, good grief, land of the free, brother, land of, yeah, yeah, I am grateful to america, god bless america. I am so thankful. But at the end of the day it's a little frustrating too, because, back to the hoa, I was like, well, let's just create a little concrete pad here. And my mom's like, well, we're gonna have to email the hoa and get their permission. I'm like you got to what if?

Rhett:

we put this thing back here. Well, we gotta get the hoa involved, I'm like, since when are they paying my mortgage? You can tell I'm a little frustrated you're a little new.

Rhett:

I am like you're in a little newer neighborhood, though yeah, it's the new neighborhoods are like this 90 of this neighborhood like I love, like it's great, I love it. It's it's people do take care of their yards and it it's nice. But at the end of the day, I'm like the fact that I feel like I'm back in like grade school and I have to go to the principal's office to ask for permission to leave you know what I mean or to do something.

Justin:

Yeah.

Rhett:

It's just come on, man, I tell you what y'all start paying my mortgage, then I'll let you tell me what we can and can't do. How about that? And so I am now, literally I am now sorry. This is what a venti iced brown sugar oat milk shake.

Justin:

This is what it does.

Rhett:

This is the byproduct, so I will move on from this.

Justin:

So any HOA lovers out there? I would love for you to comment on this, but at the end of the day, I'm just like I told Linda.

Rhett:

I said I have been past the point for a long time. I love, hate living in neighborhoods like this. I hate it because there's things that I want to do that aren't janky, that are really nice, that I'm being limited to in these kind of neighborhoods, and I can't stand it. I want to go out and buy a piece of property. I want to build a home, I want to put an income property on it. I want to go out and buy a piece of property. I want to build a home, I want to put an income property on it, I want to have a nice shed, whatever. You know what I mean.

Justin:

Oh yeah, and I can't do that in this neighborhood Like I could put a 30 by 40.

Rhett:

I can't. But in my mind I could put a pool back here in the 30 by 40, create like a pool house type thing but type thing. But that would not be approved because it would be considered a living space and I could like rent that out, rent the pool, rent that out, like make some living. You know what I mean? And yeah, you can't do that in this kind of neighborhood.

Justin:

I'm like, see, until you get your idyllic space. Come to Meadowbrook with us. They will not pick on you like that.

Rhett:

Well, you might even can have chickens. Well, you know, here here, here, yeah. So anyway, I'm not gonna talk. We're in a transition period right now to where we could technically kind of move wherever we wanted to in the city. We're not because the with where we are in our house and without getting into too many of the micro weeds, it would not be beneficial for us to try to sell this house right now and move. Yeah, um, maybe in a couple years, yeah, not that we're looking to move. But, man, when I start thinking about it my blood gets boiling. I'm like, okay, I'm ready, hoas, but I get it, because there are neighborhoods you run through and you're like you've got somebody parking on the curb like you and you're like, come on. But it's like up on wheels and hubcaps and yeah, and trash and tents and tractors, and you know it's true. I mean it's like, okay, I can see the benefit of that.

Justin:

Yeah, oh yeah. No, it keeps it in Love hey.

Rhett:

Yeah, it is, I'm done. I'm done with my HOA.

Justin:

Well, and to be clear, I wouldn't put my car there if it looked janky.

Rhett:

Your car does not look janky, it just works.

Justin:

No we got more terrible, but I do understand the hoas. We lived in that in the house before and we did some renovations, we did some things where we didn't even really get permission and I can still remember it looked beautiful. We made this path going down to the side. We put this little arch over our fence that made it look like you're walking into this garden.

Rhett:

I mean, it's beautiful was that the one over chelsea area? No, no, it's the one after that, it was the one over Chelsea area. No, no, it was the one. After that it was the one not far from Grants Mill.

Justin:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and a nice stone path with these pebbles.

Rhett:

Yeah, I remember that it was nice.

Justin:

A guy walks up as we're finishing it and he was like were you going to get permission for that? I was like what do you mean? And he said you know I can have all this undone right now. What a jerk. Oh, I know, and I'm like Holy Spirit self-control is a great fruit of yours. Let me just calm down.

Rhett:

Wow.

Justin:

I said wow, you could do that. Huh, he said yeah. I said but don't you think it looks nice? He was like, well, yes, it does, but you didn't go through the process. I was like I said does, but you didn't go through the process. I was like I said but you're over this, right? He said yes, I said I love the fact you think it looks nice. Thank you so much for being good with this.

Rhett:

I'm not asking permission but you're Greek. You're my Jedi. These are not the uh, whatever. Yeah, I said thank you so much for complimenting this and you're good with this.

Justin:

Yeah, and he just looked at me and walked off. So I don't know if he approved or not, but he just walked away. We never heard anything.

Rhett:

Yeah, and it's still there to this day and we don't live at that house, so I think we're devil and I have a love-hate relationship with that, and that's all that we're going to say about that. Good deal, so okay, random thoughts with Rhett Great. Some people are like when are you going to get to the leadership stuff? This is practical leadership right here. Okay, mesmerizing, oddly satisfying task to do. You ought to try pressure washing. And what I'm saying is like will my driveway?

Justin:

Yeah.

Rhett:

There's something oddly satisfying about seeing something that is not so dirty but over time, three years in the South, with as much rain as we get, and with all the dirt and the oil on the ground that builds up on a driveway yeah, oh man, just to sit there and have enough power in your hands of water, which I love to spray the sidewalk, to spray the driveway, and to see the dirt just disappear and it become white. I'm like, oh, that's original look.

Rhett:

And I'll sit there and I will pressure wash for two hours. I won't listen to anything, I'm not listening to music, I'm just there with my thoughts and I am enjoying just the beautiful. I don't know anybody else out there Mesmerize and just find a task so oddly satisfying as pressure washing.

Justin:

Does that not do anything for you? It does, but I also think the HOA was probably very pleased with you?

Rhett:

Oh, I wasn't doing it for them. They didn't ask me to do that.

Justin:

Exactly, exactly. So we changed off HOA, but yet you were doing a very HOA thing.

Rhett:

Okay, so, out of pure delight, so I can do about I don't know. I think I can do about two 10 by 17 areas in about two hours and then after that my hand is done Like literally. You remember, like jumping on a trampoline as a kid. You'd be out there for hours and then you go to bed at night and you feel like you're still on the trampoline. Oh yeah, okay, so you know it's got this safety mechanism on the, on the trigger, and then you can pull the trigger back, because if you're not careful with a pressure washer, I'm not gonna throw anybody under the bus. But I have a family member who loaned me this pressure washer who a couple of weeks ago about blew off his toe because he was wearing sandals and pressure washing. So don't do that.

Rhett:

Just so you know you can. You can rip off a toe really quick with a pressure washer.

Justin:

So no, slice it. You don't need to like spray. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so like these things you know, especially at the strongest setting anyway.

Rhett:

So I'm not wearing sandals, I'm wearing shoes. So it's, I don't know, it's very mesmerizing, very oddly satisfying. I know I've said that a bunch, but when you push in the safety nozzle and you pull it back, you have to kind of grip it pretty tight. So two hours of gripping pretty tight, yeah it numbs you up.

Rhett:

Well, it numbs you up, but then when you're done, when you go to try to pick something up, your hand can't grasp it. So, like, literally, my left hand cause I do a lot with my left hand Um, I literally went to try to grab this water bottle that I'm holding in my hand right now and my hand just kept doing this. I was like I can't hold on to it too, like I kept dropping it.

Rhett:

And I was like this is ridiculous. And then, as I'm sitting in my chair minding my own business, my hand Will you? All of a sudden cramped and my fingers went back into that position.

Justin:

Oh my gosh.

Rhett:

My fingers went back in the position of holding and it, and all the way up from, like your tendons, right between your hand meets your arm, all the way up to your elbow, is just so tight and I'm having to pry my fingers back and bend them backwards and straighten my arm out.

Justin:

I've never had that happen. That is the worst feeling.

Rhett:

That is not oddly satisfying.

Justin:

And that is not mesmerizing.

Rhett:

But so like if you put out your arms, great, and it's like why are you?

Justin:

throwing up game time and you pull.

Rhett:

I know like, oh, I can't help it. I'm like, ah, my arm is just completely just wrenched and so that sounds terrible, it was horrible. And I'm like either A, I'm not drinking enough water, which I know that's a lie, cause I drink it every day.

Justin:

You eat your bananas, oh man. So, yeah, that's my pressure washing story of the day. No, it's funny, it is when you were saying obsessed when you obsess over something. Those are some of the tough night sleeps when you've obsessed over something and you dream it all night long. Yeah, I've been in the past few weeks. I'm designing curriculum right now for a class I'm going to teach at the upcoming semester, and All night long, yeah, I've been in the past few weeks.

Justin:

I'm designing curriculum right now for a class I'm going to teach at the upcoming semester in Howlands College.

Justin:

Yeah, and so when I get on this, these projects, I'll set aside different hours just throughout, different parts of the day where I can actually focus really, really well, and sometimes that's some of my evening hours. I'm just in that good mode, good mental space, but I will do it just so focused at last. I mean, like literally last night I was up late because it was more of the enjoyment of it. You know, when you're creating scenarios like there's going to be a class that you actually helped with another class I created last year or at the beginning of this year where we came and did scenarios where you act like you're going through something and the students can help coach you through it and they apply some of the techniques they've learned. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. So I was creating another one which is specifically for worship students, and so it's just fun creating because I'm imagining you and different people coming in being the person who's going to like play the part.

Justin:

You know the struggle they're going through. So I'm working on it. Well, I go to bed. My gosh, I dreamed about this all night long. It's like in my mind it's program where you're still working on scenarios, You're living out worship scenarios.

Rhett:

I keep waking all night. I'm waking up. You're writing out worship scenarios for these students in your dreams. I keep waking all night. I'm waking up. You're writing them down as you wake up. No, no, no, no, it's like in my. You know how you just have weird dreams.

Justin:

It's any work you do over and over. It's you imagining that you're pressure washing the driveway, I'm creating new scenarios and in my mind it's like I am typing it down. But it mind it's like I am typing it down, but it's like when you're asleep, all you're doing is mentally like banking it, like boom, all right, yeah, remember this for next time, but you're just in your sleep state, so you don't really know what's going on, but anytime you lock in on a task, that's what happens to me for sure.

Rhett:

Yeah, I've had some dreams like that before. But I'll tell you what I have talked about weird dreams. I mean we're talking dreams like not before, but I'll tell you what I have talked about weird dreams. I mean we're talking dreams like not something you're dreaming about accomplishing in life, but like when you go to bed and you're trying to rest and wake up refreshed. Yes, that's what.

Justin:

I have a reoccurring.

Rhett:

I have a, the microphone starts going away from me as I talk. I have a reoccurring dream that drives me nuts, yeah, and I've looked it up and it's amazing how many other people have this dream. If you've had this dream comment, it doesn't matter. The scenario is just doing life or whatever, but there's this substance in your mouth and you pull it out, and sometimes it might be like bubble gum, it could be just something, and you're pulling it out and as you pull it out and you throw it away, there's more substance in your mouth and you can't get, and it's like you're constantly Okay hold on one second.

Justin:

So, yeah, the dream. Am I missing something? Oh, this is a dream. Okay, we're on the dream, okay, okay, I was about to say this is pretty gross, this is.

Rhett:

I've had dreams where you think your teeth have fallen out. Have you ever had that dream? No, okay. So I've had dreams where my teeth have fallen out. I wake up in the morning thinking my teeth are gone and I'm literally like, when I wake up, I'm touching my mouth and make sure okay, oh, thank God, my teeth are there, like they're falling out, like falling either one by one or all at all, and you're trying to put them back in your mouth. I've had that, but that's not the weird recurring dream. I have a lot. The one that I have more often than not is this idea of like hey, guys red here Just want to take a moment and say thank you to every single one of you who have taken the time to follow us on social media.

Rhett:

Now, if today is your first time to join us for an episode, man, we want to say welcome, friends, it's so good to have you with us. Could you take a moment? Look us up on Instagram or Facebook. You can find us there at Armchair Authentic, or you can go on over to X. Find us there as well at Armchair Auth Pod. That's Armchair Auth A-U-T-H-P-O-D. All right, now back to the conversation. There's just a substance in my mouth that I cannot get rid of and I'm pulling it out and I'm pulling it out, and I'm pulling it out, and I'm pulling it out, I'm throwing, and it's just like, just imagine bubble gum at the very top of the roof of your mouth. You pull it out and you think you're good and you're like, ah, satisfying, it's gone. And then there's more. Yeah, and it's the weirdest, most uncomfortable in dream, and so I've looked it up, up, and a lot of people have this dream, and so it was funny to me is how many people start diving into. Well, this is what it means. Oh yeah.

Justin:

And so they're like.

Rhett:

Well, your mouth has something to do with speaking, and so maybe there's something that you're holding back, that you're not sharing with anybody, that you should share. And then there's the people who are like, well, maybe there's something stirring that you need to express in your life that you're holding back. And I'm starting to think and I'm like I don't think so, I just think it's a whacked out dream, it's nothing spiritual at all. So either, I feel very lonely and isolated in this conversation with you right now, if I'm being honest because you and isolated in this conversation with you.

Justin:

Right now, if I'm being honest, you cannot relate to it, but I am hoping there are people out there that are listening to this, but it's the interpreter. I'm interpreting In my mind. I'm actually trying to get more of the interpretation. Is that what it is? Yeah, Okay.

Rhett:

What's the interpretation, guru? What's the interpretation? Oh wise guy.

Justin:

What is the interpretation? Wise guide. What is the interpretation no?

Rhett:

that's just a weird dream anyway.

Justin:

No, I mean that, but but I had this thought to a while ago and it's all kind of culminating.

Rhett:

Yeah.

Justin:

Where it was, like you were talking about the piano and how we've never done stuff like that. It's funny how you can say something that's so material, like real task. Yeah, like pressure washing the driveway, yeah, stuff that you're doing, now that you know you're doing it because, like number one, you're taking care of your house. Yeah, you are the keyboard. You could throw it away and buy another one, but you're trying to steward, but there's that thought in you now to do this, and you know. So, whether this is the dream or not, but I did have this thought a while ago. Okay, and I'll ask myself that too, because I do the same thing. I put a lot of focus now that I used to, not, and so there's something about like, there's like a new curiosity, yeah, and I just think of the not to try to take this so deep so soon. Take it deep, let's go.

Rhett:

It's about time we talk about something.

Justin:

No, but really I mean, and if my weird dream can take us there, let's go, I know, and if my weird dream can take us there. Let's go I know what if that was the transition point? No, I was just planning on this being a simple podcast and we would be done with this episode, we're just having fun. We just kind of conversation comes to mind.

Justin:

But it is interesting how we kind of go through this process of I used to would have you know, growing up. We've talked before, even with John Ross last week, how we've been able to get more vulnerable in the past years, like we've been close for a long time and we shared so many I mean I would say vulnerabilities growing up as kids, all this stuff, and we kind of went through this season of living the right life but kind of armoring up where we did not kind of expose things. Like I can think back to childhood and weaknesses or insecurities I had. I would not hesitate just sharing with you and we would just share that with each other. We could be on the. We could be on the walking track, at Parkway sitting down like when no one saw us, just chilling, eating a snack and drinking drinking a Coke.

Rhett:

It kind of took my brain and opened up a box of thoughts that I but we can have we would have.

Justin:

I can go back to the smell of that gym.

Justin:

We, oh yeah, and we would have these talks and I can remember us just being there for each other, like you'd be, like man, that's not how you are and we we were. Just there was a natural side of being so open because I didn't have this front of, I've got to be superhuman. But then, as we were talking earlier, we dedicate our life to Christ and wonderful things happen and in there something began to manifest in the goodness of what was going on. There was also kind of the shadow that was developing, yeah, where there was what used to be an open vulnerability, just kind of you kind of operated more in this superhero. You is in me, all of us, everything's good.

Justin:

Where you know if something bad happens, it's like I don't accept good. Where you know if something bad happens, it's like I don't accept that you know, and not really doing the work. And to look back and think, man, as a child, there was such a natural openness there that when I actually went through a season that you would think on paper I'm probably living my best life of being open and transparent. Those are probably living my best life of being open and transparent. Those are probably some of the years of being less transparent. But yet, at the same time, you're building up and doing good things, but on the shadow side, I'm not opening up at all. And then you hit these moments I remember for me not to rehash too much, but December of 06, we went through our first miscarriage.

Justin:

There was something about that that broke something in me and it woke me up from whatever sleep state I was in where it's like my eyes saw what I saw a long time ago and I hadn't seen in a while that man I am just locked in, superhuman knocking stuff out.

Justin:

But I've not stopped just to check in on people without there being a end to the task, but I hadn't just stopped to have some unproductive work, just to sit down and talk, also knowing that that's going to bring up talk with me, to open up. And that began this slow process. Because, you know, something happens like that, what we went through, and it happens with you and it happens with everybody listening. It doesn't mean instantaneously you're now Mr Open and sharing the right stuff. There's years of process of peeling that onion and so the vision, if you will, kind of that picture that I'm getting is there's just this natural, like when I'm seeing even taking apart that keyboard. There's so many years. I would have just kind of discarded that and not thought much of it and just thought, well, time to get a new one.

Rhett:

Yeah.

Justin:

Yeah, but there's this curiosity now that exists and just like you're going in and I'm walking in and there's a keyboard on the table, you've taken probably 30 screws off, you've got this board that doesn't really work anymore. You've ordered this new board, like you're. Actually, it would be so much easier to just throw this thing away and just buy another one, cause it's not like a hugely expensive piano, but there's something in it that you're. Actually you could probably go make triple the money with the time that you're going to put into this and go buy a triple the price keyboard. But there's something in this curiosity that you're wanting to just try something, and I think so many times that I look back at that where I discarded just what could have been a moment to say. You know what. I just need to stop and take some time with this and get to the root of what's really wrong. You know why am I not sustaining like I need to?

Rhett:

you know like what you just did.

Justin:

Why am I not sustaining and and and and do the real work? Wow, yeah, as opposed to just yeah, I'm going to fix it, I'm going to go do this and just get a new one and I'll work completely new again. I got a new project I'm working on. I got this. It's bringing me fresh identity, it's making me feel really, really good and it kind of bandages it up for a season and I still get to be perceived in this great spiritually working hard, effective in ministry, effective in family. It's the shadow side of the good stuff. That's happening is almost becoming my medication, and when the sustain pedal stops working, I'm ready to just cash it in and get the next one.

Justin:

And so there's a curiosity. I think that we have to go through where we just stop and take it apart and really get to the root and find out, okay, what's really wrong. And so I just that we have to go through where we just stop and take it apart and really get to the root and find out, ok, what's really wrong. Yeah, and so I just think we have this opportunity that, as we're in this spiritual walk and everybody who listens that's the cool thing about this we're all on different planes. We're not higher or lower, we're just in different planes and in different areas and we can all learn from each other. We're all friends at this table, but it cannot be replaced by just constantly trying to discard it and finding something new. Like we have to take our time and we.

Justin:

It's uncomfortable, but we've got to take all the bolts off in our life, slow down and be curious enough to actually find out instead of just wondering what's wrong. Why do I keep having this trigger pop up? Okay, now I'm going to go do this, because when I do this that trigger seems to go away. When do we recognize it's really not going away? It's just being distracted? And when do we just stop and say, okay, I'm going to take some of these uncomfortable moments and really try to get to this motherboard while the sustain pedal is not working and actually get into it and understand like, oh, it was this right here and actually fix that, so that you can then put the screws back on and now you got a keyboard that works really, really good again. But we've got to all. We've got to be willing to slow down.

Rhett:

We've got to be willing to be curious and admit that something's wrong and just do the work, and nothing replaces the work on the next episode of armchair authentic, in taking all that you just said and trying to put it into one thought, is if we want the fruit to change, we've got to really do a deep dive into the root.

Rhett:

So the keyboard reference analogy even try to think psychologically why would I even try to do that right now as opposed to years ago? Yeah, finding the problem by going to the root, dealing with that and then seeing that fix happen to sustain your life. I don't know where this happens intrinsically, but as kids, let's call it pre-Jesus, vulnerable, authentic, and then, within the church setting, somehow we found ourselves living in this inauthentic way, purely authentic on the side of man. Our lives have changed or we're being transformed. God is doing this inward work within us, almost so much so to where it's like now we can't have any more issues and I can't talk about it because my life should be 100% transformed and I shouldn't be having any root issues. Man, we cannot wait for that conversation, but until then, we hope you have a wonderful day, stay safe and we will see you next monday for a new episode of armchair authentic right here with your friends rhett and justin. We'll see you soon, thank you.

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