Justin: 0:00

Imagine a world where every conversation feels like a genuine connection with authentic people. A place where you truly feel like you belong and where everyone can put here at the table. Friends, welcome to Armchair Authentic. Okay, gentlemen, I love when we have conversations that start off with a lot of fluff and a lot of catch-up and a lot of just hanging out and those kind of things, but sometimes I just like to just jump into it. Yeah, people have they it's they just experience Thanksgiving. People have been sitting around all weekend. Yeah, they're ready to jump back in straight to whatever we're gonna say. Well, you know, as we wrap up this time capsule of talking about things that are really important to us, something that's been resonating on my heart for a while, but obviously a conversation I've talked with you about and shared, going, hey, I'd I'd kind of like to just talk about this a little bit and just share just how much this has changed my life and is continuingly to change my life and to point me in the direction of fulfilling all that God has called me to fulfill. Um, and and this is the idea and the topic around vision in for your life. Um, you you hear this idea of vision. And by the way, I I don't have some already premeditated written out, like this is talking out loud. We're processing this is a conversation that I'm having with my brother, with my friend, and the friends that are listening. So um give me the grace to be able to just kind of communicate this in like a you know, around the fire pit. We're having coffee conversation. That's what this podcast is. And so when it comes to vision, I don't that can that can be such a broad statement in so many different ways, in so many different facets. You hear a lot of it with businesses. We're very familiar. Most successful companies and most successful businesses, they have vision and then they have a mission or a process or a system to help deliver right that vision. But really, what drives all of it are the values that they have and the clarity and the language they create around those values to ensure that everybody knows what they are. Because when you know who we are as an organization, when you know who we are as a team, when you know who we are, like you're gonna make decisions that point us in the direction of fulfilling the vision, right? Yeah. So the reason I mention this, when I think of it as a big rock to if I'm speaking to my son who listens to this, or or hopefully one day my grandkids, or even your kids and grand, you know, all just however God decides to use this. When you get into the workforce, a lot of times we're working for companies that have this and they're successful, but we never think to apply it to our own life. And and yet scripture teaches us to apply these principles in our life so that we can be prosperous and successful. Not in the essence of dollar signs. If you're thinking money, I mean, yes, that can be a byproduct for sure, but I'm just talking about you know, the fulfillment of life itself. Yeah, friends, relationships, you know, all this stuff. And so as a pastor and being in ministry, 32, going at the time of this recording, you know, what, some 32 years right now and in serving the Lord, oftentimes I'll sit down with people, you two as well. When you sit down with people and you'll hear them talk about, oh man, like my wife and I can't see eye to eye. Either she's a spender or he's a spender. It's one or the other. One wants to spend money, one wants to save money. It's not a he-she thing. It just is. Like, I love spending money on my family, and I'm a dude. Like, I'd rather have the memories than the money. Let's go, you know? And that's just reality. And so we wouldn't have any money if if we if I wouldn't marry to Linda, but we wouldn't have any fun if Linda wasn't married to me. Those are her words. Those are her words. Goodbye. Not my words, but she's a lot of fun to be around for sure. But you know, it's a lot more fun when there's security, you know. Oh, and I and I've learned to to to to understand that more as I've gotten older and the wisdom that comes from that. So, but the reason I say this is because there's a lot of families who are in disagreements and disarray and they're going in so many different directions. And the reason they are, they feel like they're pulling their hair out, they feel like their in-laws are running their life, or they feel like, I mean, you name it. Yeah, they're just they're scattered and there's no clarity. They don't, it's because and here's the is what I ask them usually after I hear all the stuff. Although this person's doing that, I feel like I'm being pulled here, I'm being pulled here, and you know, they it's just all the life, life, life, life. And I'm like, have you ever, here's my question, and I you know, I can ask this for you too, and you can honestly speak to this. Do you have a clear vision for who you want to become? As you I'm speaking mostly to husbands at this point when I'm sitting down with people, like as a husband, for who you want to become. And and together as your family, like you and your wife together, have y'all ever sat down and ever talked out who do we want to become as a family? What do we want to see God do in and through not just our marriage, but in our home? How do we see, you know, while our kids are under our care, how do we want to steward that? Yeah, what kind of vision or clarity what do we want to, what do we want to create, right? Where what do we see? Where are we going? Yeah. And I'll ask them, have you ever had those type of conversations? And nearly 100% of the time is like, no, I've never done that, never heard about that. But yet, these are some of the most successful people that are running companies and they're doing it in their business. They're just not doing it in their home. And I have the question and I ask myself, and so oftentimes people ask me, like, well, how did you know, I'm not saying rett your family's perfect or whatever, but like, I mean, there's a model there that I look at and I'm along for that. And I usually tell them, it's like, well, because we we know who we are and we have a vision for our family. We've actually talked about it. And not only do we have clarity on who we are and where we're headed, yeah, but we have values that support that. And so it's our values that drive every decision we make for what we do and what we don't do. Yeah, because we understand who we are. And so this idea of vision and values for a family is huge. I speak to my son Max. It's having vision and understanding why, and then having values that help support that. And so, you know, I could go on and on by myself for that, but I'm curious, is that something you and Summer have ever sat down, talked through, mapped out, been intentional on? Because it has been for Linda and I, and we've, and I'm gonna give scriptures here in a moment to help support this and to help open this conversation, to open our eyes to what the Bible says about this. And so it has been so impactful in my life. And I'm just curious if if you've found that to be the same for you. Oh, yeah, big time. I mean, our life right now is an example of the things we do, the things we sacrifice. We're happy we're doing it because we sat down and had that conversation many years ago on what, you know, and and on what we want our family, what we want our life, what we, you know, what we want it to look like. You know, I kind of put up quotation marks there because a lot of times you realize you're moving in a direction and God was just asking you to be obedient and then he reveals something out of left field. That's good. But had you not walked that way, you would have never seen it. Yeah. But oh, absolutely. I mean, right now, and and this is where everybody's different. It's not one right way, it's about a communicated way. Exactly. And we made a choice a long time ago that we're going to primarily be one income family. That's not a decision everybody makes, and it there's a big cost with that.

Rhett: 8:16

Huge.

Justin: 8:17

And and some people will be invited to do that, and some people will feel like that's not that's not us. But we made that decision a long time ago where Summer could be present, you know, with the boys where she can pick them up from school, that she can be there with them, and that's when they were actually attending schools, yeah. And then later through that, it opens up the thought of maybe COVID helped it seem more possible where everybody was forced to homeschool. Yeah. We never had a grace for it. If you would have asked me, you know, seven years ago, I would say, yeah, we're not gonna do that. But as we reacted to what's going on in the world with COVID, and now we're going back, and now we're, you know, we're in the middle of transition at this time of life, you know, in 2021, 22, what's it gonna look like for school? We moved to an area that had a really cool school system, thinking maybe they're gonna shift to that. Yeah, we've invested all of our life in our kids to go to private school. Yeah. Just an investment we made. I usually joke when people are saying, Are you where's your savings and how's all this going? Yeah. And I'm like, well, ours is in a different way. It is going straight to the schools. I mean, there's a lot of money that's being paid to schools.

Rhett: 9:38

Yeah.

Justin: 9:38

Um, but because we're on the same page, even when times get shaky, and even when times you want to say, Yeah, God, we could sure use that extra however much, we remind ourselves, this is that day, should the Lord teary. Yeah, we'll be that day's coming, but we only get this time, and we've already stated what our goals for our family is, meaning we're going to continue to say no to this. And and anyway, I could go to the next one. Yeah, let's go deep with it because that's important. You've built you've built a framework uh or a foundation and a framework around this is who we want to become. And because we know who we want to become, here's the decisions we know we have to make. Yeah. So there's gonna be a lot of good things that come along, but just because they're good doesn't mean I should. So therefore, I'm gonna say no to the good, yeah. So that I can say yes to the great. Yeah. Or the better for my family, for because the better for you may not be the better for me, but the better for you is because that's actually pointing you in the direction that you have clearly communicated and you come into an agreement on as a husband and wife for your family. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And so you making the decision, y'all making the decision to be a one-income family in that season of life was built on that framework and foundation of something bigger than just, well, I just want to be a man and make the money and a woman's at home. That had nothing to do with it. That's right. It had everything to do with you wanted to invest the time you would never get back with your kids. Yeah. And so you made the financial decision and the hardship decision to work as hard as you had to work and to make the sacrifices, maybe not to go do all the extra fluffy things. Right. Yeah, outside the home or even inside the home, whatever that might be, you know. Yeah. Um, because you knew what was important for who you were becoming. And so this is this is huge. If you're a friend listening today, if you're a young adult, if you're 60 years old, like my hope is as friends and those who are listening, is that what you take away from this is that you can spend time with the Lord and start asking him, Lord, you've designed me. Here I am. Yeah. I've never had real clear clarity on what it is I'm really called, assignment, season, purpose, whatever it is. I want to hear from you. Now, if you're married, do that together. Yeah. Right. And then just begin to make lists of what's important, what's important, what do you want to accomplish? What do you want to? Hey, yeah, I want to have a million dollars in the bank by the time I retire. Great. Okay, you know, all of that, right? Wonderful. But you outside of all that, start looking underneath the layer, like what are the values? And the values aren't something you create just at the one wall. The values are really who you are. Yeah. You know, I said a value to me earlier out loud that people probably don't even really know that I was even a value, but I said I value memories more than money. Yeah. That's right. Right. And now that doesn't mean I don't need to be wise with my money, right? But but I do value moments of going, we're going to create some really good memories. That's right. You know, and see fun. Yeah. You know, as much fun as we can have, you know, and and enjoy that. Because that's just it, it's not honestly, it's what I want to do. Why? Because it's who I am. It's a byproduct of just how I'm designed. Yeah. Right. And and my wife would be on the end going, Well, I value us having money so we can steward things well so that when we are 60, 65, Lord willing, right, you're not still having to work three or four jobs. Right. And we can be more in a financial freedom standpoint where our money's making money, right? Which is wisdom. And so it takes both. But what I'm trying to say is most people are running in so many different directions. And I've heard other people say, and I've even said it myself, that if you don't have a plan for your life, just know your in-laws have a plan for your life. Somebody's the credit card companies have a plan for your life. What's in your wallet? Okay. You know, guess who wants to get in your wallet? MasterCard. They've spent a lot of money to try to get in your wallet. Because if you're not telling your money where to go, well, they're going to tell you where they want you to send it to them and then get you behind on payments and get you up to that 20, 29% APR for the rest of your life and enslave you into something. They have a plan. Every commercial, every algorithm, every swipe, every all the like information that's coming at you isn't by happenstance. Yeah. It's on purpose. Why? Because they're guaranteeing you don't have a plan for your life. So if they can dangle a carrot of their plan and that gets your eye open a little bit, they'll suck you into the world. And when you've got a gazillion people, right? From credit card companies to commercials to car to this to that in American culture, I'm speaking to westernized culture here, right? No wonder you're frazzled because you don't know who you are. And you don't know who you are called to become. And so my hope is that a big rock that we could talk about, at least in this episode, is to inspire people around, taking time to reflect on who am I and who do I really want to become? Because that's going to drive everything from this point forward, moving forward into my life. So I want to share scripture, Proverbs 29, 18. If you've never heard this scripture, man, this is this is so powerful. So there's a lot of different translations in the Bible that, you know, I wish the the the Hebrew, like it's so dynamic, and the English does such a poor job sometimes in in really capturing what's happening. So I'm going to read two different versions for you here. Uh Proverbs 29, 18 NIV. It's very clear where there's no revelation. In other words, where there's no like this is able the ability to see. It says, People cast off restraint. But blessed is the one who heeds wisdom's instruction. Now I love that verse, but I really love how Eugene Peterson paraphrases this and he kind of creates more of this just beautiful picture, you know, and it says, if people can't see what God is doing, where there's no revelation, like if you can't see what God is doing, who he is, and and and who you are and have the ability to be who he's created you to be. Like if you can't see that, here's the byproduct, and this is why you're running in so many different directions, right? NIV says you cast off restraint. Well, what does that mean? It means you stumble all over yourselves. Like many of us are doing that in our family, we're doing it in our finances, we're doing in our relationships, we're like running here to there, we're like pulling our hair out. Why? We're stumbling all over the place. Why? Because we can't really see what God is doing and wants to do in our life and who we who we're called to become. Right? There's no revelation. We cast off restraint. Can't see what God is doing. We stumble, stumble over ourselves. But the good news is when you actually attend to what he reveals. In other words, when you heed wisdom's instruction, when there is a revelation, you actually actually can see it, but not only see it, but begin to take next steps towards it. When you attend, it's an action statement to what he is revealing and has revealed through his word and his truth and through Christ Jesus in your life. Well, then here's the byproduct. You're most blessed. And why are you most blessed? Well, because you're actually getting you're living your life now through the lens of seeing who God is and who he's called you to become, and you're actually attending to that. Yeah, you're not attending to everybody else's whims and purpose and right what they want. No, no, no. I now have a framework, I now have a foundation for who I am, for who the Bradshaws are, who the Bardens are. You know, it's not one size fits all. It looks different for everybody. And so my greatest hope is that my family, my greatest hope is that my my son operates not in don't tell me what you want to do, tell me who you want to become. Yeah, that's good. I love the word attend. I mean, just attend to what he reveals. We talked about that last episode as well. Like there are these moments that can be, you got a plan, you're excited, but you can also, even in the plan of walking out according to what God has, you can be in some, you know, more, you know, numb type times, as I even spoken to last week. But what you're supposed to be getting out of whatever you're in is to be able to attend to what he's revealing. Because the Holy Spirit, through his whisper, he's revealing things to your life and to be able to fully lock in and give attention to that is so important. And I think back to I mean, I think back to early indicators of surrendering life to Christ 32 years ago. You're gonna hear me reference that all the time. That's who we are playing the guitar, yeah, and thinking that it was just so awesome to play an instrument and giving that ability, it was very small at that time, but still it seemed like it was great, giving that to God, yeah, and dedicating it 100%, and that's not everybody's story, yeah, but I dedicated that 100% to him. No one else got my song, it was to Jesus, yeah. And this process of attending to what he had revealed in my life when I surrendered my life to him, and the being able to attend to when he was doing something and me and you together, even in the music, yeah, and next thing we know, we're just singing these songs together to Jesus. Yeah, just attending to it, and then even being curious and going to our chapel across the street from our school and bringing our instrument with no there was no payoff of three years down the road, we want to be great musicians. The payoff was we want to live our life for the glory of God, and we attended to the things that the Lord was doing in our life, and we were writing songs together. We didn't know what we were doing, but we were having a blast locking in. We began to develop community with people like Micah, people like Scott Ray, who was our youth pastor, really meaning you consider him a pastor us to us today, yeah. And attending to every Wednesday night service of youth and hearing the word of God, yeah, and uh the people who know their God will display strength and take action. I can still remember Pastor Scott saying that. And it's just in us. And what did we do when the Lord would reveal different things into our heart on these Wednesday nights or these summer times when you were young and you didn't have nearly the responsibility that you have when you become an adult?

Rhett: 21:01

Yeah.

Justin: 21:02

How did you attend to those times?

Rhett: 21:04

Yeah.

Justin: 21:04

And I just look at it that it really is no different now. We have a moment.

Rhett: 21:11

Yeah.

Justin: 21:12

How are we attending to the things that God reveals? We get to have our own, quote, summer camp when we have our own time with the Lord and spend time, just as he revealed to things to us on the beach at these summer retreats, just as he is revealing things to at this time of recording, our sons just got back a couple of weeks ago from a high school retreat.

Rhett: 21:36

Yeah.

Justin: 21:37

Where they put their phones up. They had to lock them away in a box. And the feedback that I've heard from my own, how amazing that was. Because God revealed things. How are they now attending to that? These are these moments we have in life.

Rhett: 21:56

Yes.

Justin: 21:56

How are we going to attend to what he does? And we got to make the plan. Yeah. So God is always speaking, God is always revealing, but we're not always listening and we're not always seeing. Why? It's because we're not slowing down to create the margin to hear or to see so that we can listen and obey or attend. Yeah. So a lot of those moments you mentioned, I could just hear somebody going, Well, yeah, you were a youth. I mean, you went to this retreat, you did that group, you were at church every Wednesday night, you weren't working the jobs, you weren't married in this season of life, you had all the time in the world, you could just live, breathe everything, you know, whatever. Let's just be real. That's what people are thinking. And so I would, I would argue the point to somebody who might be saying that is like, listen, if you're too busy to be able to slow down for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, and you're you're you're too busy. You you need to reprioritize because here's the big here's the thing, and this is what I'm trying to teach my my son and even myself. If you mental, if you take a mental picture and you take, you're out of the lake, you're you're at a pond, and you take, you know, what do kids love to do? They love throwing rocks in ponds, right? I don't like throwing little pebbles in ponds, I like throwing the big ones. All right, why? Because this makes the biggest splash, it's so fun. It's about right. But what the biggest rock you can find and throw as far as you can throw and you hit it was fun, is then watching the ripple effect. Yeah. It's got a much bigger ripple, and it goes a lot further along than a tiny blip. Yeah. Many of us are so busy with little bloops that we're not taking time for the biggest rock that's the most important that will that will sustain you for today, tomorrow, and really until eternity. That's good. And that big rock is your spirit, going back to spirit, soul, body. And if you are too busy with little pebbles, that you can't take the time to pick up this massive rock, which is margin in in slowing down, and you're too busy. You gotta find time. Yeah, and every one of us has 24 hours in the day. Even if that means you have to sacrifice your morning to get up a little earlier, yeah, go to bed a little earlier. There, trust me, where there's a will, there's a way. You know what I mean? Space. There is space. Um your drive to work instead of listening to the radio or the podcast, turn it off, focus, you know, as best you can. There, trust me, there's time. If you find it, if you'll be intentional with it. So it's and it takes intentionality to build the framework, is what I'm saying. And so if somebody's listening saying they're too busy, you know, because of the season of life they're in, I'm like, bro, well, you're just too busy. You you're too busy because you're not seeing what God is, or you're not hearing his voice and you're not seeing what he's wanting to do. Yeah. Because you can't attend to it. And the biggest thing is you got to reorganize your life. And here's what I found is interesting is you, I don't know if anybody's ever seen these mental pictures of or or somebody actually doing this in a service, but you know, you can take um, you know, big rock, you two containers, right? And there's big rocks and little rocks in one container and the other container's empty. If you put in all the little rocks and starting filling the other the empty container, you take all the little rocks, you put them in, then you try to put a big rock in, that doesn't all fit. Yeah. It's a why it's a wild perspective and principle that's there. You take the big rock and put it in the empty container first, and then what do you do? You start filling all the little stuff around it, and guess what? It all fits in that now what was empty is now filled. That same principle applies in life. And I'm I'm just trying to encourage my family, my son, to let's not chase rabbits, let's not, let's not chase the little pebbles. Let's slow down, create margin so that we can hear from God what He's revealing, so we can hear it. So we got to slow down to hear it so that we can attend to what he reveals, so that then we can ultimately see it. So how do we do that? Well, I think we slow down. Yeah. Well, and I I think that's a practical thing. I think well, I think too, the picture I get with the big rocks is you know, at this time of the recording, my third uh oldest is Britt. He's 11 years old. And he's an athletic, like he really is. He's a very athletic kid, plays everything. Uh, but you know, we we had a football game which would probably be about a month or two, maybe maybe a month and a half ago. And the quarterback threw this like pass, and he was in a group, he was in a grouping of guys, and he jumped up, he squared up, he caught the ball and went hard to the ground, but he caught it.

Rhett: 26:55

Yeah.

Justin: 26:56

And touchdown, we were very proud for him. It was he felt amazing. Yeah, and even in that moment, I remember I was very proud. So it's not like I sat back like of course he did. Um I was a proud dad. I was cheering, yeah, I was having parents. Please send me a video. I love it. That's great. But he did not learn how to do that in that moment. If I was to take that back, yeah, I love spending time because it's a big rock. Yeah, I love spending time with my boys. If you saw what we were doing and you just drove by and asked me, Justin, what did you do today? Yeah. If I tell you that, well, I threw football in the R for two hours, if I don't add Brit to the equation, you're probably like, well, that's great exercise, but yeah, can't you do something else with your time? You're 47. But when I add to the equation that Britt's with me, it changes everything because we're interacting. He is he is having these things revealed to him. He is spending time with his dad.

Rhett: 27:58

Yep.

Justin: 27:59

And these little tips that I would throw a football to him and he would drop them, or he didn't learn how to square his body up. Yeah, all these things that take balance and it takes you can't replace time.

Rhett: 28:09

Right.

Justin: 28:09

You just got to be consistent with it. And we've done that because we're having a good time together. Yeah. And we pretend that he is, you know, the the Jackson Dart who's the quarterback for the Giants. He loves him. I love the Eagles and the Chiefs. He we both love the Chiefs. So we're acting like we're players catching and throwing.

Rhett: 28:29

Yeah.

Justin: 28:30

So we're having a great bond together. But what he's doing is he's having fun and being committed. He's learned how to catch really good and throw. Yeah. And so you take that back to that field. It was a great accomplishment to catch that, but it honestly, it was no shock to me. Yeah. Because he's put in the work and he's been consistent with it. He is attended to this skill and to this craft and to this moment that we're having together. Yeah. And so what I'm getting is great quality time with my son. The cool part about that is he who knows at the time of this recording, he's 11, but you might listen in 15 years and find out that he went on to do great things in football. None of that. That's not what matters. Right. But what matters is I'm spending this time putting big rocks. Yeah. So it's not necessarily the label of what's being done. Once again, football with me and you throwing three hours a day would seem like a waste of time. Right. You know, once you hit that 30-minute mark. But with Brit, we're having the most quality time there is, and it's a huge investment. And there is going to be a major return on investment with those moments. Hey, friends, if you're enjoying today's conversation, could you do us a huge favor? Would you share the link of this episode with a friend, with a coworker, with a buddy? Email it, airdrop. Drop it, text it, comment on Facebook, however, you would like to share it. Man, it would mean so much to us to help us get the word out, to have more friends join us in on this journey. Thank you. All right, now back to the conversation. And I would dig beyond the surface of that and go the reason that you're getting that byproduct is because you and Summer have a framework and a foundation. You're not just saying, Oh, I just want to go out and just throw a football. No, no. It's because of who you are. One of the values is quality time with your kids. Yep. It's not quality time for you. The value isn't, I want my son to be a professional athlete. No, that might be the byproduct because of his gifting and his grid for sure. Yeah. But the natural byproduct of I I want to spend quality time with my kid, there's the value, right? Whether it's spoken or written down, that's just who you are. To be there to affirm that catch, if he drops it, to be able to give a lesson, it's the lessons and affirmations he's getting from his dad. So because you have that why behind it, well, like you're making the decision to do what you're doing and you're sacrificing other things, whatever those might be, to be able to do what's really most important to who you are and who you guys are want to become. That's right. Which are parents that are present, yeah, and affirming and loving and in in their life with that type of relationship. And so the byproduct is of course he's gonna throw a catch-it touchdown pass. I mean, why wouldn't he? Yeah, byproduct. Just the byproduct. Byproduct. Right? And so so what I'm getting, yeah. So none of that's by yeah, none of that's by accident. Yeah. It's all intentional, whether it's consciously or subconsciously. But from what I'm hearing with you, because I asked you the question, you and Summer have taken time to go, hey, this is who we are, this is who we want to become, this is what we want to see our family do. And so therefore, we're not being pulled in so many different directions. We're gonna say yes to these things, we're gonna say no to these things. Why? Because it's it's who we are. And we're on the same page. I can walk in after a long day of work exactly and come in and say, Hey, give her a hug. I love you. You know, you sometimes we'll cook together. Right. But hey, I think I'm gonna go through with Britney Yard, you know what her response is? It's like, oh, that'd be great. Yeah. If I were to say, hey, I think I'm gonna call Red on the phone or so-and-so on the phone and talk to him and sit on the porch. Well, there's times she would be like, oh, great, good. But if I make a habit of that, yeah, there's probably gonna be like, wait, that's not fitting into our at this time. Right. Right thought, right? But couldn't y'all talk at a different time? Exactly. It was right in the middle of middle of cooking. You could if you were gonna spare that time, why didn't we just cook together and have some quality time? It would infringe upon the values that we've created. So you have healthy boundaries in place that support your values of who you're becoming and want to be. Yeah, that's the beauty of vision. Yeah, that's the okay. So, practically speaking, it doesn't have to be some like paragraphs on paragraphs of all this stuff. Like, you know, I'll give you some value. I'm not gonna give you everything with our life. But I when I started to understand this and discover this and want this from my life, it really wasn't until my mid-30s where I really started going, okay, I I've I I think I know what I I I talk a lot about what I want to do, but who do I really want to become? That I I just, yeah, I want to love God, but yeah. So I I stole our church's values. Yeah. And and I just started implementing that. And at the time, the values that we implemented, and here's the thing, saying, speaking back to what you were talking about earlier, is every season might look a little bit little bit different, but at the end of the day, the values, you know, I heard Simon Sinek talking the other day. He said, What's interesting about values is they're they're they're not nouns, they're action statements, they're verbs. So, but outside of that, he said there's usually only three, really no more than four. He said, once you start kind of like getting outside of that, they all are really kind of identical, which is really weird. Yeah. You can do away with them because the top three or four actually cover that. And so the framework I started with were Love God, Love People, Pursue Excellence. And at the time, it I believe it was um choose joy or or whatever it might be. I don't know if that's that's what it is now. Is that what it is? Now, what was it before 2025? Yeah, what was it before choose joy? It was something with attitude. It was it was just like it wasn't the action in front. Right. It was like love God, love people, excellence, yeah, and and and attitude. Yeah, attitude. That's what it was, right? And so so those are what they were, and then to give me some framework because I didn't know what to start with. And I was like, well, this is our church, and I'm this is my home, and so this is what we started with, and now it's since expanded because my mind's opened up to go, okay, I've I'm really realizing more of like who who I am and how I would word these things and what they would look like in my own life. And so the values that drive my life, if if you're interested, um, and I won't give you the whole list, but here's the big three or four. Um, is that I I just every decision that I make in my life filters through the first one, which is my love for God. In other words, passionately pursuing an authentic relationship with God through his son, Jesus Christ. That's what that looks like for me. His one and only son, I might add. Right? Yep, that's right. So that that that's what it looks like. So, first and foremost, nothing else works in my life if that rock is not there. Yeah, and this is who I am, who I want to become. I want to become more like the one who made me. I was created in his likeness, I was created in his image, um, and therefore the manufacturer on my spirit, my body, my soul, man, I want to align to that. Yeah, because everything flows from that. So, number one, love for God is huge. Yeah, now this second one's gonna sound real selfish. So let me give some context to it. It's loving myself. Yeah, and I don't mean this in a selfish way, but go with me. Some people ask Jesus, Lord, Jesus, you know, what's the greatest commandment? And he said, to love God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, like everything you got. Yeah, go all in. But then Jesus said, Well, I didn't know you, I know you didn't ask for the second one, but let me go ahead and give you another one, right? And it is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Yeah. In other words, to imply that you really can't love your neighbor unless you learn to love yourself. That's good. But to love yourself, Jesus says, You love your neighbors as I have loved you. Yeah. Wow, the way that Jesus loves me, I need to understand that dynamic in order for me to be able to love people or to love my neighbor. So a lot of people jump from love God, love people. Okay, great. But I can't love people unless I love myself the way that God loves me. So I need a revelation for my own life. And this is new and fresh, and something I've I've recently added. I'm a big believer in what you're saying right now. Like, and so this idea of loving myself is through the lens and the framework in the, you know, of God teach me to love myself the way you love me. Because when I can have that deep revelation and understanding, then I can truly love my family, my son, my neighbor. I can love them well. But until then, if I love myself the way that this world teaches me to love myself, well, I'm gonna have a lot of problems if that's the way I'm loving my neighbor. You better believe that there's the issue. And that's happening. Oh, yeah. That's the problem. Well, I'm loving my neighbor as I love myself. Exactly. Because you've learned that your value is only what I can go do and accomplish, and that's my value on myself. Exactly. And if that's not a true value where you don't see who you truly are, and you're not loving yourself completely, you'll never love others completely. Hey, friends, Rhett here. Just want to take a moment to speak to those who may be joining us for the first time. We want to say welcome, friends. However, you found us, we are so glad that you did, and we believe it wasn't by accident. We're so glad that you joined us in on this conversation today. In fact, if you haven't already done so, could we encourage you to follow us on social media? You can find us on Facebook or Instagram at ArmchairAuthentic or over on X at ArmchairOff Pod. That's ArmchairOff A-U-T-H P-O-D. All right. Thanks for taking the time to do that. Now let's get back to our conversation. Giving you the framework to my son, to my grandkids, to those who listen, to friends, if there's any big rock in my life that's made a huge difference that I want to share on this podcast before we close this chapter, it's the fact that every decision that I want to make when I wake up and before I go to bed filters through the lens of that passionate pursuit of God and that passionate pursuit of understanding and that revelation of his love for me, so that I can then in turn love people. And I put just love my neighbor. Yeah. You know, and Jesus clarified who our neighbor is. I'm not going to get into all that, right? Yeah. It's not who's like me, it's really who's different than me and who disagrees with me and who doesn't understand the things that I understand and you know, all of that stuff. So, like love them well. And then honestly, it's to steward everything well. That's another value I have. Pursue excellence. I I like that phrase, but for me, I have to explain that way too much to people. Sure. So for me, I'm I'm I'm not that smart, so I have to dumb things down. And for me, what makes sense in my mind is I just want to steward everything well, which means I'm gonna give my best in everything. Spirit, soul, body. Yeah, how do I how do I spirit steward my time with Jesus, my spirit? How do I steward my my mind? Yeah, am I learning, am I growing, right? How am I stewarding my body and taking care of the the temple of the Holy Spirit that God has given us as a gift? Yeah. Everything flows from how do I steward my finances? Because if I value stewarding everything well, everything means everything. Yeah. Friendship, stewarding your friendship, stewarding your craft, stewarding your keyboard playing, 100%. Stewarding your singing. Right. It doesn't mean I've got to do everything like at the highest level. It just means whatever I've been, whatever I've been given and entrusted, I want to ensure that I'm I'm doing the best that I can and I'm just stewarding it well. That means that you're you're multiplying your own stuff. You're you're developing your own stuff, not comparing yourself to what others have been given to steward. So good. Or if you'll be like the guy with the one talent, yep, who buried it because he was comparing himself to the others. Like, well, the others, you know, yeah, it's that whole mindset. Exactly. And then the last one for me is this we're gonna have you know great memories, make great, have a lot of fun. That's good. I like that. You know, it's the idea of um great moment, you know, the attitude and and choosing joy, like, you know, I I'm I'm all behind those. That that's great. But for me, the way I like to say it is, you know, if if I love God and I'm pursuing him well and I'm learning to love myself through the revelation of who he is, and you know what, I'm I'm stewarding everything well. Well, then the the byproduct is you know what, we're gonna have a we're gonna have a great time. We're gonna make great memories, have a good time. So now all of this is it's great, right? But there's another scripture that I want to share as we close this because I know with time and everything that we have. Habakkuk. That is it's it's a book in the Bible that's not read very much. Um, but in Habakkuk chapter two, verse two, it's the principle that we see here in scripture. Write down the revelation, write it down. That's right. Why? Make it plain on tablets. It's just funny. This was thousands of years before iPads and tablets have come out. I think that's just cute. Yeah. So, write, okay, we're talking about vision, we're talking about attending to what God reveals, right? Hearing him speak, seeing it. And this is the principle of how we apply it. Write it down, make it plain. Everything I'm talking about with the values that I have, right? Um, whatever those values look like for you. Here's the reason. And it tells us in in right here, why? So that a herald may run with it. So that, so that they can run, so that you can accomplish everything that that revelation has set out, so you can attend well to it, right? So you can run. And so the reason I write it down is not because it's not in my heart, but that there is something powerful that happens when it goes from your head, from your heart to paper. I can't explain it. You might say, Well, I don't like the journal. I'm telling you, you ought to try it. It's very powerful. I love it. But when you write it out and you begin to see it, it's something about getting it out so you see it in front of you. Yeah. And this goes back to the whole perspective of wanting to live a life that is not being pulled in every direction, that that is very attending to what he reveals. Why? So you can be most blessed, not in the Western culture sense. Yeah. However, that can be a byproduct, right? Sure. And it's just going, man, I I want to build a framework. And I hope my family builds a framework around not what they want to do, but who they want to become. You know, and I have I have a lot of people usually start and ask me a question, and here's my response. The first thing most people do, especially men, what do you do? And I here's my genuine response now. Literally live this out. Man, that's a great question. Hey, before I tell you what I do, I I'd like to tell you who I want to become. And then I just share the vision in a very life-giving way. I just want to love God with all my and I share my values. It's interesting how more people find more interest in who you want to become as your character, because then it makes sense. Oh, well, no matter of course, now my identity is not based in what I do, it's based on who I am. And that's the foundation according to scripture and what we've read today in just two verses, and there's obviously more throughout scripture from Genesis to Revelation of how these principles apply. Yeah. That have changed my life. And I encourage others, you know, big rock, to take a little step. If you're married, get with your spouse, create the margin, slow down. Yeah. Hear from the Lord through his word and attend to what he reveals to your point, wherever you are in this season. So, so well said, man. I appreciate that you took the time to even share some of your values. I think you've opened up people's minds to even the verse about loving yourself. That's not a normal thing for people to see, but when you explain it the way you just did, like that made it very plain and revelation should have come to some people listening. And I would also encourage, take some time. This is a great moment to reflect.

Rhett: 45:25

Yeah.

Justin: 45:25

You can't really go do until you sit down and reflect. And so then you can go. Yeah. Man, you can go, go do what I don't I would love to say go kill it, but go do what God has revealed to you. Walk in your gifts and do it with grind. Yeah. But you can't walk in your gifts and do it with your grind until you have the framework. And where do you get the framework? It's in the margin of what you're saying. I hope this blesses you. It is, it's been a huge rock in my life. And uh take it for what it's worth. I mean, I'm challenging. What we grew up in the 80s. I dare you. No, I double double dare you. Hey friends, thank you so much for joining us on today's conversation. We're really looking forward to next week's. But until then, we hope you have a great week. Stay safe. We wish God's blessing on all of you. And we look forward to seeing you right here next Monday on Armchair Authentic.